☢️ Is Crypto paying for NUCLEAR weapons?

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What’s due this TUE:

• Is North Korea the NEXT Crypto Superpower? ☢️

• Polygon drinks some crypto Horlicks 🧃

• Chaach and Charts:

• Milky Meme of the Day

Let’s boogie!

  Is North Korea the NEXT Crypto Superpower? ☢️

What’s the worst thing crypto is used for?

💊 Drugs

💳 Stolen credit cards

☕️ Coffee with no milk

☢️ Nuclear weapons

We’d say #3

But some less-serious people would say nuclear weapons.

And not just any nuclear weapons, but the ones used by Kim.

No, not Kim Kardashian. The only radioactive thing she was a part of was — Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

But now, Kanye’s the one going nuclear.

Let’s get back to Kim tho. I mean the less important Kim, the Supreme Commander of North Korea.

You know the one with access to actual nuclear weapons.

Turns out, he’s funding his nuclear program (which is launching missiles right next to Japan 🇯🇵) using crypto.

Kim didn’t accumulate the crypto wealth through HODLing or trading. His hands are too small to be diamond hands.

He did it the old-school Indian politician way — through theft and scams.

Here are 3 ways 🇰🇵 is messing around in crypto:

1️⃣ The North Korean jobs scam: NK operatives would apply for web3 jobs pretending to be from San Francisco. When paid in, they would send the money back to NK’s nuclear program.

😟

2️⃣ Crypto companies phishing scam: NK operatives would send people job offers with phishing links. Once opened, the job seeker’s computer will be compromised. The victims included the Ronin blockchain and the Harmony bridge.

😢

3️⃣ Bitcoin for espionage payment: NK even paid SK military officials in BTC to give out imp information against the country.

😡

How much stolen dough we talkin about?

Oh, just under $1 billion (Rs 8,100 crore).

Over 30% of this is gone to their nuclear program.

That’s almost $300 million (Rs 2,470 crore) 🤯

They’re literally using crypto to launch missiles. Guess that’s one way to go to the moon.

Y tho?

One question you ask is — “why tf is Kim using crypto? Doesn’t he know it’s a bear market?”

Yeah, that true!

But it’s the only kinda market NK has right now.

Before the pandemic, NK’s main income came from black market trade of:

• coal

• meth

• cigarettes

• humans (like human trafficking)

After the pandemic, as most supply chains were cut, they moved to crypto. Like most people do when they get fired from their normie jobs.

Crypto’s qualities of anonymity + remote work + direct non-KYC wallet payments + all-round decentralized nature is damn good for a regime no one wants to associate with.

(nobody tell Kamaal R Khan this!!)

While the rest of the world is cutting off crypto, North Korea literally cannot function without it!

In fact, if you really think about it (and I mean really think about it!) NK is the closest country to becoming “a crypto superpower.”

Doodhwala’s take: We don’t like nuclear weapons being used by a Kim (any Kim fwiw). And if crypto is used to fund it, that’s bad. But it’s still not the tool that should be blamed, it’s the user who should!

Oh well, North Korea doesn’t start scamming people using crypto in other ways. Like launching something as diabolical as coffee without doodh!

Btw, what’s this Americano bull 💩?

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  Polygon drinks some crypto Horlicks 🧃

For weeks now, Polygon has been teasing us about the launch of something BIG.

We haven’t been this excited since a Roadies Vote Out! 💅

And this one is hella interesting.

Polygon just launched its zkEVM public testnet.

“OMG the zkEVM public testnet! That’s so cool! OMG! I thought it was years away, but they’re launching it NOW! OMG”

“Just one quick small teeny tiny little question — WTF is a zkEVM public testnet”

I’m withya sista.

I asked someone smarter than me the same question, here’s what my man said,

Let’s divide this into two parts:

zkEVM → zk + EVM

Let's start with zk rollups.

zk stands for Zero-Knowledge (and not Zayed Khan!!) and rollups are a way to bundle transactions.

ZK rollups are a way to process transactions in bundles.

Instead of taking all the transactions (even those 0.001 ETH txns used to buy weird NFTs like this one) a sample, called “proofs,” is taken.

These bite-sized pieces of encoded data confirm the rest of the transaction as —

true ✅ or false ❌

The rest of the transactions are unchanged.

EVM stands for Ethereum Virtual Machine or the software used to run smarty contracts on the Ethereum blockchain.

This in turn allows developers to create decentralized applications, even weird but fun ones like this.

Now with zk rollups 🤝 EVMs things become hella interesting for Ethereum devs.

Why?

Devs can take their code from Ethereum (which does not have zk rollups directly) into a sidechain like Polygon (that does have zk rollups).

Users can initiate transactions → the rollup bundles it → generates a “proof” → proof is EVM-compatible → Ethereum can judge this proof as true → transaction is processed

Phew! That was hard

So why tf is this sucha BIG DEAL to use my entire brain power?

Think of this as Ethereum drinking Horlicks.

But instead of becoming taller, stronger sharper, using zkEVM, Ethereum becomes faster, cheaper, lighter.

Polygon just dropped the testnet (kinda like a warmup game) news.

And mainnet (like the main event) is scheduled for 2023.

When it drops, it’ll be hotter than a Jaipur heatwave.

We’re excited for it! 🔥🔥🔥

  Still fresh doodh: Avoid Bumble Crypto Boys 😘

Mothers love us!

Why? Because our milk never expires, so no wastage.

In case you missed out because of your bizzeee bizzeee week, check out these still taaza but still unfunny news from ⏮ week:

✍️ Here’s how you know the guy you met on Bumble is a crypto swindler

✍️ Last week, and IND company launched a token, but no one is trading it.

✍️ WazirX fired 40% of its workforce because of 3 problems every Indian exchange is facing.

🎙 CONVO: Check out our dope convo with Obvious co-founder Pradeep BV about building crypto wallets that connects with exchanges and DeFi apps and win laptop stickers and doodh.

Milky Meme of the Day

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter (@DoodhwalaDaily)

That’s all for today bhaiyo aur bheno! Naale Sigona!

Aakash "Dahi Cheeni" Athawasya & Arvind "Doodh Peda" Krishna

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.

None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.