🎅🏻 SANTA’s bag: Best of doodhwala

Gm, this is the doodhwala, the only crypto newsletter that’s as good as eating some sweet plum cake 🥮 and sipping on some hot chocolate ☕️ during Christmas! 🎄

🔔 Merry Christmas to you from the doodhwala. 🔔

We’ll be honest, we don’t have a taaza (fresh) and naaya (new) version of the newsletter today.

(because we were busy spending yday with fam and friends eating and drinking up, just doodh ofc). 🥲

So, today we’ll give you the top 5 articles from the doodhwala in case you missed it!

📢 ORIGIN story: BRAND NEW doodhwala

We started with a simple doodh bottle logo

And only 2 months after we launched did we say, “hey we call ourselves the doodhwala (milkman), but our logo has doodh (milk), no doodhwala.”

Like wtf are we liars? I mean, are we liars to our subscribers?

NOOOOOOO

So, we rebranded from

Milk → Milkman

Doodh → Doodhwala

But the fresh crypto news and unfunny memes remained!

Check out our origin story:

PLUS:

1️⃣ Why the Taliban just banned crypto2️⃣ Here’s how much web3 infra projects made.

🐙 INTERVIEW: FREE stickers and Doodh

In this edition, we spoke with Pradeep from Obvious Technology.

He raises Octopuses for a living.

Seriously tho, Pradeep is the co-founder of a v v cool product — Obvious, a non-custodial multi-chain crypto wallet built by a fab 🇮🇳 team!

We spoke about a buncha things like:

• Why the name obvious? And why the Octopus as the mascot? you know they’re hella slimy, right?

• Why are bridge and wallet dashboards a difficult game, and why is Obvious in neither category?

• Why aren't people building fun stuff in the crypto market?! I mean, where’s the fun at in crypto let us know 👀

Read here 👇

🎁 UNCOVERED: Solana’s $5 mn HACK

Crypto is full of…

…crazy people.…ridiculous merch.…shitcoins and scams.

All of the ☝️ above are right.

We’re focusing on #3 tho, we spoke to a crypto researchoooor to uncover what really went down in the Solana hack of August.

No, this wasn’t the Mango Markets screw up.Or the Raydium drain.Or the Serum 🤝 FTX fiascos.

(oh Solana, we’ll 🙏 pray 🙏 for you this Christmas)

But the $5.3 million drain directly from Solana-based wallets.

Was this a wallet issue? An Apple OR Google issue? Or a Solana issue?

Read here to find out:

🇮🇳 Bitconnect's India Criminal Caught?!?

Cops in every country struggle to catch criminals.

But the 🇮🇳 cops actually managed to nab one! 😳

The criminal — Satish Kumbhani — from a small town in Gujarat.

He was, one of the founders of Bitconnect. Yes, the same Bitconnect from this legendary moment:

Yes, the doodhwala was there was this moment! 👀

Kumbhani, like most crypto criminals used the same PONZI playbook.

We at the doodhwala call this the 5P Ponzi Playbook:

• Prop: Launch: Set up a crypto company during a bull market (2016-17 ICO mania)

• Proprietary: Claimed it had a proprietary tech (‘Lending Program,’ and ‘Volatility Software’)

• Promise: Assured soaring returns (monthly returns of 40% and daily bonuses of 20%)

• Proof: Gave payouts to early investors

• Poof: Disappear

Phew! 😮‍💨

Read more here 👇

👋 HEY CoinSwitch! Let’s talk.

Coinswtich is a YUGE Indian exchange.

If DJT were talking about it, he’s agree with us:

And Coinswitch tried to pull one over us during the whole #ProofOfReserves thing.

All they gave us was a statement which read:

Coinswitch’s holdings > Users’ holdings.

like bruh, really? 🤦‍♂️

We had a few problems with this:

• Coinswitch is a centralized exchange, so users’ holdings IS the exchange’s holdings

• Coinswtich didn’t reveal their wallet addresses, or counterparties

• Coinswtich didn’t reveal their reserve value

In short — The exchange didn’t reveal anything!! 😡

But you can read their PR schtick and our breakdown here 👇

🙏 Help the doodhwala 🙏

We started this newsletter as a fun thing! 🤙

It went well.

• you laughed

• you told us our humor is 💩

• you even sent us a bottle of spoiled milk

But most importantly crypto is kinda fun for you now.

Our goal has always been to give you the 🥛 milkiest 🥛 content ever.

And it ain’t just news. And it certainly ain’t just newsletters.

👀

It’s a whole buncha things!

We’ve got a few ideas. Some good, many many very terrible.

So, we wanna know what you think.

Be a cool doodh and take this survey pls.

👇 👇 👇

🔔 Merry Memes Of The Day 🔔

We've got the best crypto Christmas memes for you 👇

That’s all from us folks!

Enjoy the last MONDAY of the year. 👋

And if you’re stuck at work, and cursing your boss 🤬, check out our Twitter, we’re dropping something to cheer you up….

….in the doodhwala style 👀

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter (@DoodhwalaDaily)

That’s all for today bhaiyo aur bheno! Naale Sigona!

Aakash "Dahi Cheeni" Athawasya & Arvind "Doodh Peda" Krishna

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.

None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.