🇮🇳 Cops Tryna Catch a Crorepati Crypto Criminal

Vanakkam. This is the Doodhwala, we’re the friend that will cover for you when your girlfriend calls us! “Yup, he’s right here with us chugging doodh straight from the packet”

Here’s the Monday special:

• Cops tryna catch a crorepati crypto criminal

• The Football Club that bleeds Bitcoin

• Taaza Tweet Of The Day

• Milky Meme Of The Day

🇮🇳 Cops tryna catch a crorepati crypto criminal

Remember that game cops and robbers we played as kids?

I was always the robber, running away from the cops…and my responsibilities.

A similar cops and robbers game is going on rn in the Indian crypto market.

And it involves a Rs 19,000 crore scam, a fake cryptocurrency, and a hilarious video.

Meet Satish Kumbhani, a 32-year old from Hemal, a small town ~300 kilometers from Ahmedabad.

In 2016, he set up a company called — BitConnect and scammed investors of $2.4 billion (Rs 19,000 crore).

He did this through a simple ponzi technique, we’re calling this the 5P-Ponzi Playbook:

• Prop: Launch: Set up a crypto company during a bull market (2016-17 ICO mania)

• Proprietary: Claimed it had a proprietary tech (‘Lending Program,’ and ‘Volatility Software’)

• Promise: Assured soaring returns (monthly returns of 40% and daily bonuses of 20%)

• Proof: Gave payouts to early investors

• Poof: Disappear

Looking back, it was inevitable.

BitConnect even launched a BitConnect Coin (BCC) that jumped from $0.17 (Rs 14) to $463 (Rs 37,000) in a few months.

I saw the BCC price chart and went BC! 😱

They even got one of their iNvEstOrs to pump the price at a shady conference in Thailand.

And the video is honestly…golden.

Check it out:

I’ve watched this so often that I randomly scream, “Bit Connnnnnnnnnnect” 5 times a day.

My mom thinks something is wrong with me.

Back to Mr. Kumbhani.

Earlier this year, the US DOJ accused Kumbhani of setting up a ponzi scheme (no shit?).

The problem is Kumbhani, who was holding up in San Diego, fled.

And what kind of Indian-American would he be if he doesn’t suddenly recall the motherland when he’s in deep shit.

So, he fled to India.

What are the chances he was blasting “Yeh Joh Des Hai Mera” from Swades on the flight back home?

Last week, a lawyer from Pune filled an FIR against Kumbhani.

And the claim is honestly hilarious.

The lawyer invested 49 lakh for 54 BTC. He was promised 166 BTC (a 200% return). He’s claiming he lose 220 BTC (now worth Rs 42 crore) because of Kumbhani.

The funniest thing?

Our man invested in Kumbhani’s other projects between 2016-2021, five years AFTER BitConnect.

But Kumbhani, like an autowala that goes by the meter, is no where to be found.

P.S.: Fake reports like this state Kumbani is arrested, they even have a pic of him with an orange jumpsuit. 🤣

The Football Club that bleeds Bitcoin

When you make great gains on your BTC holding, what would you buy with it?

• A gold coated Lambo? Sure.

• A giant dairy farm with unlimited supply of doodh? Of course.

• A failing football club at the bottom rungs of English football? Umm…what?

This is exactly what Peter McCormack, the host of the popular podcast “What Bitcoin Did” and a crazy football fan, did.

Last year, during peak bull run, Peter bought his hometown football club in Bedford and renamed it Real Bedford. (pretty original)

His goal was to make the club successful and make it a fully Bitcoin integrated ecosystem.

From buying match tickets, to purchasing anything from the merch store. Everything could be paid with Bitcoin.

He also successfully convinced many Bitcoin companies like Casa and Gemini to sponsor the club for various operational resources.

I mean, take a look at this post-match interview spot.

Spotting a non-crypto company here would be harder than finding Waldo!

Even the ads in and around the stadium are from these crypto companies.

Peter has done an incredible job of using the club for not only advancing the football aspirations of his hometown but also using it to create a hub for Bitcoin enthusiasts around the world.

One crazy proof for this is that the pre-match Bitcoin meetup is more popular and attracts more people than the actual football match.

But with the market in a downturn, Peter might find it difficult to convince sponsors to keep funding the club for another year, despite the club having good footballing results.

Our Bitcoin bulls trashed another team 7-1 in a recent pre-season game.

Overall, this is a great success story on how one believer used Bitcoin to build a thriving ecosystem in his local community and build more awareness on the revolutionary power of Bitcoin.

You’re a real one, Pete. 🥂

Maybe if RCB’s owners change from bankrupt airline operators to Bitcoin OGs, they’ll finally win the IPL? 🤞

Taaza Tweet Of The Day

Milky Meme Of The Day

This was created by a doodhwala supporter, give them a shout-out here.

That’s all for today bhaiyo aur bheno! Naale Sigona!

Aakash "Dahi Cheeni" Athawasya & Arvind "Doodh Peda" Krishna

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.

None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.