⚖️ Justice Is Served, Coinbase Style!

Gm, this is doodhwala, the crypto newsletter with a 225lbs bench. 💪

Oh yeah, we’re crypto bro, doodh bro AND a gym bro! 😎

Here’s what we benchin’ today:

• ⚖️ Justice Time? Coinbase fights back against the SEC in style.

• 🕶️ Cool new token: There’s a cool new gangsta token in town.

• 📈 Cheese and Charts: Exchanges and Bitcoin - not the best of friends.

• 🛠️ Resourcewala: ZkSnarks- WTF are they?

• 🍼 Doodhshots: Lacoste now has NFTs

𐄷 Justice Time, Baby!

You remember that lawsuit SEC threw at Coinbase in early June?

We wrote about it here (if you wanna read it, you should tho).

Well, Coinbase has got something to say about it! 📢

Yesterday, Coinbase took a bold stance. 🎯

Their claim? Cryptos on their platform are like rebellious teens - beyond the SEC's control. 💁‍♂️

Here's the backstory:

SEC sued Coinbase in early June, accusing it of trading unregistered securities. 🤨

SEC's argument? These cryptos are investment contracts, hence securities.

But Coinbase isn't having it. 🙅‍♂️

The power move? Coinbase filed a response yesterday. 📝

They said:

1. The cryptos on their platform are NOT investment contracts.

2. Therefore, they're NOT securities.

Oh, but they didn't just stop there.

Just like we don’t stop even after having 5 glasses of doodh. 🤓

They took us to school, explaining that the cryptos aren't tied to any contract where a promoter is selling an asset. 👩‍🏫

And here's the kicker → there's no obligation to the investors from the token issuers. 💁‍♀️

Then they dropped some knowledge about the current SEC Chair, Gary Gensler. 👀

Apparently, Gensler switched his stance on SEC's control over crypto faster than you can say "blockchain". 🔄

Coinbase wants regulation (yes, you heard it right) and has even asked US Congress to take a look at crypto regulation. 🧐

And now, the punchline:

Coinbase alleged that even if SEC had some power over crypto (a BIG if), the lawsuit still goes against their Due Process Rights. 😲

In simpler terms, they're saying that this whole lawsuit is just an abuse of the system.

They've always played by the rules, and they're just asking for some clarity. Is that too much? 🤷‍♂️

But wait, there's more! 🎁

In another document, Coinbase claimed that their due process rights were violated by the lawsuit. 😤

They've asked the judge to let them file for judgment and have even set a 7-week schedule for it. ⏱️

Can't wait to see how this one pans out.

Stay tuned, crypto fam! 🎬

💰 The Easiest Way To Handle Crypto Taxes

Your crypto taxes are giving you the spins?

Say goodbye to the tax cringe with TaxNodes! 👋

• Manage your crypto taxes

• Accurately calculate your tax reports

• File your ITR without any pesky errors

TaxNodes—the crypto tax service that's so fast that you'll file before the deadline and so accurate that you will even get answers to your chai or doodh preferences.

Hold tight because TaxNodes means business!

👉 Handle up to 1 lakh transactions annually, with manual support for high rollers. 🚀💼

👉 Support for 8000+ coins! 🏛️🪙

👉 Get not one, not two, but THREE tax reports using the FIFO method.

You have been covered by tax ninjas! 📋🥷 AES-256 encryption and a super-secret system keep your data safe.

Hit that button, save taxes and blast off! 💥🚀

(P.S. TaxNodes is running a special tax season T10 contest. Participate now and get a chance to win the all-new iPhone 14. Yep, you heard that right, an iPhone 14!)

😎 How Gangsta are you?

What’s poppin’ G?

You better be Gangsta enough to read this story. 😎

There’s a new meme token in town, and the bots are taking over crypto Twitter.

We’re talking about THUG coin, the only hood-certified token in town. 🤝

WTF is it? Is it soon going to be a fad?

Time to find out how to be part of the gang. 💪

Introducing Thug Life token

Thug Life token, a.k.a. $THUG coin, was made after the infamous Thug Life meme and Snoop Dogg reference. 🤟

Why does this meme coin even exist my doodh?🥛

Well, the team says they’re here to bring change to the meme coin culture—

Something that basically isn’t a Dog or a Frog. 🐶🐸

Also, this meme token, in a way is a homage to the OGs who popularized Hip hop culture in the 90s.

Just…don’t ask how.

Quick specs—

👉 Built on ETH.

👉 Total supply of 4,200,000,000 tokens. 🤣

👉 Over 70% of the supply being sold in pre-sale. 🤡

THUG coin’s ICO soars - we think.

Over $1,30,000 subscription done so far in just 2 days since the launch.

Pretty good numbers? We don’t know for sure.

Because regardless of what animal attaches to a meme—

There is one animal everyone has to keep an eye out for - Whales 🐳.

☝️These whale Mfers can easily over-subscribe a project and then dump the value on the open market. 📉

We’ve seen it with Doge.

We’ve seen it with Shiba.

We’ve seen it with Pepe.

No one is safe.

Intrinsic value? Pffft screw that. 🤡

There is no intrinsic value that you will probably find any time soon in this project. 💀

This token is literally hyped coz of one possible influencer who can collaborate with their project - the one and only DOGG.

Snoop Dogg has a good track record of putting up his money in Web3 projects in the past.

The OG infamously was the first one to buy real estate on Decentraland—

A metaverse project that’s suffering more than ever rn. 😢

So will THUG life token rise → Straight outta crypto?

We don’t know 💩.

What we do know is that hype always dies down - we can only watch how long the story runs.

Doodhwala’s take: This ain’t financial advice G.

Don’t invest in something that’s literally run on hype and nothing else. 🙅

Only do that if there is a $DOODH token in the future. 😤🥛

📈 Cheese and Charts: BTC Exchanges On a Diet!

Remember those New Year resolutions where we vowed to drop a few pounds?

Well, Bitcoin exchanges have been living that dream since the COVID-19 crisis! 🏋️

Post-pandemic, Bitcoin held across exchange addresses has been on a steady decline, more loyal to its weight loss goal than most of us have been! 📉

The current count? A tiny 11.7% (2.27M BTC) held on exchanges.

That's the thinnest it's been since December 21, 2017! 😮

That's like your friend who used to hog pizzas now nibbling on chips. 🍕

So what's the deal?

Are exchanges putting BTC on a blockchain diet or is BTC doing some self-care detox? 🤔

Could be HODLers hoarding BTC like dragons, or folks moving BTC to private wallets for that extra cozy security blanket. 💼🔐

Or perhaps it's the rise of DeFi platforms tempting investors with those juicy yields. 👀💸

As this migratory trend continues, it raises the question: Are we seeing a fundamental shift in the way Bitcoiners view storage and security?

What's your take? Let us know! 👇

🛠 Resourcewala: Revealing the mystery of ZK-Snarks

You've probably heard the buzz around this spicy tech - ZK-Snarks.

Sounds like a sci-fi gadget from a Star Trek episode, doesn't it? 🚀

But trust me, it ain't some far-off intergalactic tech.

It's RIGHT HERE, right now in the blockchain-verse! 🌐

Today's resource strips down ZK-Snarks for you:

• What the heck are ZK-Snarks? 🤷

• Why ZK-Snarks matter in the world of blockchain? 🌍

• How do these snazzy ZK-Snarks work? 🧐

Reading time? Less than the duration of a Big Bang Theory episode. So no excuses, fellas! 📺

🍼 Doodhshots: Crocodile Has NFTs Now

• 🏦 Banking Burdens: Binance has lost its European Banking Partner Paysafe. Did they bank hard on this decision huh?

• 🌉 Bridging Boon: Solana users can now access EVMs like Arbitrum and Polygon using a deBridge feature. Phew, no more token wrapping.

• 🐊 Lacoste NFTs: Lacoste now has an NFT ecosystem that will award its engaged users with perks. Fuck clothes, I’m buying NFTs now.

• 💳 Mastercard’s Beta: Mastercard will soon be launching a beta app to test their Multi-token network for payment transfers. Banking and crypto- who would’ve thought?

• 👩 ARK ETF: Cathie Wood’s ARK has now amended their Bitcoin ETF filing, and could be the first one to get approved. She’s done it again bois.

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram.

That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.

Today’s edition was brought to you by Ritik Gupta and Sumanth

Edited by: Arvind Krishna and Aakash Athawasya