🚨 Coinbase vs The SEC

Gm, this is the doodhwala, the only crypto newsletter that (fun fact) helps you build muscle, burn fat, and stay sharp. 👌

Here’s the workout for the day:

• 🚨 Coinbase vs SEC: Yesterday, it was Binance. Today, Coinbase. Back-to-back fights for the SEC. Who’s next? Doodhwala

• 🍎 Apple Of My Eyes: Apple launched a HUGE product. Crypto bros are going crazy. You’ll find out why.

• 📈 Liquidation Tension: Biggest fall of long liquidations of 2023!

• 🛠️ Resourcewala: Decrypting crypto exchanges

• 🍼 Doodhshots: Gamestop enters the NFT route

💔 Coinbase, we feel you, bro!

Just yesterday Binance was sued by the SEC and today it’s Coinbase. 🤦‍♂️

It’s like we are playing "Who's Next" now. 😵‍💫

But the SEC sued Coinbase for all different reasons. 💥

And to be clear, this case isn’t against Brian Armstrong, CEO of Coinbase, but the company itself.

So here's the deal → March 22, 2023 📆

SEC throws a notice at Coinbase (kind of like a legal warning shot).

The bone of contention? Crypto staking products on Coinbase.

Coinbase shrugged it off as casual, continuing business as usual. 😎

Come April, Coinbase shot back, suing the SEC, and demanding crypto regulations.

Fast forward to June, and the tables have turned. 🔄

SEC is suing Coinbase now! 💼

This suit alleges that Coinbase has been: 👇

• Acting like a broker 🏦

• Pretending to be an exchange 🔄

• And moonlighting as a clearing agency 🗂️

All without authorization. 🚫

Also, the SEC alleges Coinbase never registered its crypto staking service.

They want Coinbase to stop it. Permanently. 😬

Basically, as per SEC, Coinbase handled customer orders, managed bids, and acted as an intermediary.

But registered with SEC? Nada! 🚫

That’s like a doodhwala delivering doodh without his license (no we don’t provide licenses).

So why should we care? 🧐

Without the necessary licenses, Coinbase may have been skipping past rules and regulations designed to keep investors safe.

Wait, it gets MORE intense!

SEC argues that → Coinbase knew some of the cryptos could qualify as SECURITIES. 😬

Yet, they went ahead and listed them on their platform anyway.

Wtf is security? (no, it doesn’t mean your colony’s security guard who btw only sleeps at night)

It’s a financial instrument like stocks or bonds. 📈

The issue here is that securities need to be registered with the SEC, which Coinbase allegedly failed to do.

Those tokens: Solana (SOL)

👉 Chiliz (CHZ)

👉 Flow (FLOW)

👉 Near (NEAR)

👉 Filecoin (FIL)

👉 Nexo (NEXO)

👉 Dash (DASH)

👉 Voyager (VGX)

👉 Cardano (ADA)

👉 Sandbox (SAND)

👉 Polygon (MATIC)

👉 Axie Infinity (AXS)

👉 Internet Computer (ICP)

The weak point for Coinbase → Public Registration Statement

In this doc, Coinbase acknowledges some listed assets that may be securities. 👀

And despite this Coinbase didn’t register itself as anything. 🤯

Coinbase’s response to all this?

They say that what we really need is legislation specific to crypto (not too much for an argument but it's kinda true). 😅

Doodhwala’s Take:

This crypto drama is spicier than that one time I spilt doodh on my mother's favourite bedsheet.

Tho it got resolved after me getting a tight slap for it.

But I hope this lawsuit doesn’t end up with Brian getting slapped on his shiny head. 😅

💰 Make your Portfolio GREEN With PYSE

Pssttt…we know how to turn your portfolio from red to green.

No, it’s not by investing in a memecoin.

It’s by turning your investments green. LITERALLY GREEN. 💚

You can do this through – PYSE.

PYSE is the world’s first green investment platform. It allows investors to – invest in real-world assets and reduce their carbon footprint through inflation-proof + climate-positive + yield-generating investments.

🍁 Not the kind of green that Snoop Dogg likes.

🌱 The kind of green that keeps the world alive.

With PYSE you can:

• own fractions of green clean assets

• invest in renewable energy, EVs, and agroforestry projects

• offset your carbon footprint and make fixed returns on your investment

PYSE is opening up their waitlist for doodhwala readers. And they’re dropping something hella exciting at the end of the month.

Just sign up below and turn your portfolio green.

⚡Apple re-ignites the Metaverse

Apple just announced their Spatial Computer a.k.a glasses that you can wear and enter an augmented reality. 👓

Forget the old days when Sci-fi was just fiction—

We now have actual glasses with haptic feedback to alter the fabric of reality. 😮

But to stay on track, this whole metaverse story was something that the crypto gang was pioneering in. 🤔

Is there hope for a revival of Crypto-verse?

Let’s understand what it means for a way to re-ignite the Web3-Metaverse story—

And in the process, hopefully not drop our A.R. glasses like a drop test Youtuber. 😨

What’s Apple Vision Pro? 🤔

This $3499 (…😱) Augmented Reality headset is in a class of its own, beating all its competition in terms of👇

👉 Features

👉 Use Cases

👉 Absolute Cool-ness

This is a game-changer, and can potentially re-ignite the story of the Metaverse - the Web 3 story that everyone wants to see in action. ⚡

The hope for a revival of the Metaverse

The Metaverse projects took an L after the hope for adoption from Meta (We still call them Facebook).

There were✌️ projects in particular that were ahead of their time.

1️⃣ Decentraland ($MANA)

2️⃣ The Sandbox ($SAND)

These projects can be potential re-entrants into A.R., as they specialize in building real estate and gaming on top of Virtual Reality. 🏡

It’s also alluring because these projects already have big brands and influencers (Adidas, Snoop Dogg) who have bought land and are quite invested in their turnouts.

Well with Apple bringing this story back to life, we can see how it can show the world the possibility of the Metaverse. 🌎

Where are the possible use cases for Web 3?

We don’t know what’s going to change soon, coz we deliver doodh at the end of the day.🥛

But even we can see that things WILL change with Apple bringing in the innovation.

And there are a ton of avenues for its adoption if it kicks off well, be that in —

• Gaming

• NFT marketplaces

• Virtual Realities

Or a combination of all 3 of them. Who knows, we mix and match stuff!🤷 (We did that last time with coffee and ended up creating that Boba drink 🤤)

All we’re saying is this. It’s time to bring the CRYPTO-verse story back to life!

Let’s hope for the best thing that we can build here.➡️

Until a better use case comes into play—

We will stick to watching our portfolio of meme coins getting liquidated. 😤👇

📈 Cheese and Charts: Liquidation Limbo - Longs Loosen Grip!

Crypto has had its fair share of roller coaster rides, but yesterday took us to the peak of Mt. Everest and dropped us like a rock! 😱

Get this — we experienced the most immense fall of long liquidations of 2023!

🗓️ April 19: A casual day with long liquidations reaching a mere $260 million

🗓️ June 5: Over $290 million in long liquidations! (April's record? Hold my beer!) 🍺

But wtf is liquidation?

And this happened with the bullish traders as they couldn’t maintain the margin on their leveraged positions ($290 million), and those positions got → "liquidated."

So, was this liquidation tsunami a long trader's nightmare or just a tough day at the crypto office?

And what about you? Where would you place your bets? 🎲

Chime in with your thoughts!

(REPLY and let us know 👇)

🛠️ Resourcewala: Decrypting Crypto Exchanges 💥

Crypto exchange goes kaboom? 🤯 

Time to ask: Can crypto wizardry sort this out?

What if exchanges could cryptographically prove they're good for the money? Or couldn't touch your funds without an OK?

We're diving into the evolution of trustless exchanges, their pitfalls, and mind-blowing new ideas with ZK-SNARKs and more. 💥

Today’s resource breaks down:

• Exchanges: hands off our money!

• The trustless exchange saga

• ZK-SNARKs: the future is here!

LFG! 🔥🔥🔥

🍼 Doodhshots: Gamestop enters the NFT route

• 🇺🇸 Gensler Tantrum: SEC Chief Gary Gensler says the US doesn’t need any more digital currencies other than the dollar. Cool bro, can you do a dollar airdrop tho?

• #️⃣ Hash Rates: Bitcoin and Ethereum mean hash rate at ATH, says Goldman. Bitcoin miners’ struggle is real!

• 🍀 Tether Renews: Tether invests in a $1 billion renewable energy project in El Salvador. Crypto will save the world.

• 🎮 Gamestop NFTs: Gamestop partners with Illuvium to release 20,000 NFTs. Where will the hedge funds go now?

• ⬇️ Exit ETH: Ethereum Co-founder Jeffrey Wilcke transferred $41 million for the first time in 29 months to Kraken. Prolly gonna buy a mansion or somethin..

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram.

That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.

Today’s edition was brought to you by Ritik Gupta and Sumanth

Edited by: Arvind Krishna and Aakash Athawasya

sday