🐋 The Next Biggest Whale After Satoshi

Gm, this is doodhwala, the One Piece of crypto newsletters. 👀

We are fun, goofy and hopefully can last for 10+ years. 😅

Here’s the agenda for the day:

• 🐳 Whale Alert: The Next Biggest Whale After Satoshi

• 💎 Cathie’s Love: Cathie Woods files for a spot ETH ETF

• 📈 Cheese and Charts: Crypto Volume Hits A 4.5 Year Low

• 🛠️ Resourcewala: How To Create Liquidity Pools

• 🍼 Doodhshots: This Dude Just Lost $24 Million

🐋 New Whale - Who Dat?

There's a new whale in town. 🐳

And this time, it ain't one of those small 1-2 billion dollar whales. 😏

This is a big ass Blue Whale, bigger than every other whale in the ocean.

Before you start thinking that this newsletter turned into an Aquatic life explainer—

Allow us to explain. 😅

Arkham Intelligence just exposed Grayscale's 1750+ wallets - revealing that they currently own about $16.1 billion worth of Bitcoin. 🤯🤯🤯

Just how big of a whale are they? 🤔

Do we have to treat them like they're a big deal now?

1️⃣ Arkham does the professional DOXXing

Remember when we wrote about Arkham Intelligence?

Boy are those people doing some Professional Doxxing rn. 💀

In just the first couple of months of their launch, they've been able to identify—

• Do Kwon’s wallet and which country his ass was in

• How Robinhood has been secretly HODLing BTC to the moon

• Expose how exchanges were using $PEPE for open market dumps

And so much more!

Well now, they've gone ahead to identify that Grayscale has over 1750 wallets with a whopping total of $16.1 Billion. 🤯

That puts Grayscale Bitcoin Trust as the second biggest whale in the world —

Right after our best friend Satoshi Nakamoto. 😱

Here's the official announcement they gave 👇

2️⃣ Grayscale wins the Silver Medal. 🥈

Grayscale Bitcoin Trust is now the second biggest Bitcoin holder in the world. 🌎

Not just that, they're also the one's with the biggest network of wallets.

What do we mean?

A.k.a, they're the only one’s who have their money spread in multiple wallets, each carrying close to 1000 BTC (~$25 Million USD) 💸

It's like those folk who want to taste multiple brands of Doodh before arriving to the decision that Fresh Cow Milk >>> All other milk. 😤🐄

3️⃣ Grayscale’s loaded up on the Vitalik coins as well.

You thought being the second biggest Bitcoin whale wasn't enough?

Here's some news for you - Grayscale is also the Second biggest Ethereum whale as well. 🐳

Bro's been loading up those Vitalik coins as well. 💀

Their total ETH holdings → 3.03 million ETH.

That's $4.9 Billion at current Ethereum prices. 😱

All of this happenin at a time when they're busy YEETING out the SEC for their Spot Bitcoin ETF.

This makes it just that tad bit better for people to trust them for the ETF when it comes. 😉

❤️ Cathie Loves Ethereum

Cathie Wood.

The founder, CEO and CIO of ARK Invest.

Yeah, the same Ark Invest which is the 2nd largest institutional holder of Coinbase.

And now Cathie’s aiming for something that would be a FIRST in the world.

No, she isn’t trying to buy Doodhwala.🥛

She can’t tho, cuz we’re Too Funny To Handle. 😂

Then what the hell is it?

A Spot Ethereum ETF.

Ark Invest filed for it with the SEC just recently. 📄

But hold on, what's an ETF? 🤔

Here are all the details:

First of all, the NAME.

It’s gonna be → ARK 21Shares Ethereum ETF.

Nothing cool, tho. 🤷‍♂️

How does Doodhwala Ethereum ETF sound?🥛

This proposal is not so different from what we've seen for spot Bitcoin ETFs.

But there’s one spicy thing here.

Ark Invest tagged Coinbase to be the custodian. 🫡

Wtf does that mean?

Well, Coinbase would be the one keeping Ethereum safe that backs this ETF.

Coinbase to the moon? 🚀

Now it’s time to address the elephant in the room.

What's the SEC up to? 🧐

So this isn't Ark Invest's first time.

They tried to get a Bitcoin ETF started in June 2021.

But the SEC rejected the application due to some shitty regulatory reasons.

This is why it’s a concern for this Ethereum ETF.

What if they reject this too?

Maybe Vitalik could talk to Gary (SEC’s chairman) unless he’s busy somewhere. 😅

The SEC's been playing the "market manipulation" card since 2013 whenever there’s crypto involved.

Even in the Grayscale case, the SEC mentioned the same reason for canceling the Grayscale Bitcoin Spot ETF application.

But this time even the court didn’t buy their bullshit. 🥲

So maybe the SEC might accept this Ethereum ETF.

And usually, the SEC asks to take back Ethereum ETF proposals pretty quickly.

But Ark Invest's proposal? It's still with the SEC.

Let’s see how it goes.

Till then, keep hodling and keep chugging.🥛

📈 Cheese and Charts: What's Up with Crypto? 🧐

You know that feeling when you make up your mind for a Netflix binge but your Wi-Fi’s fu*ked up? 😒

That's crypto this August.

After Grayscale beat the shit out of SEC last week, everyone thought it could start a new bull run.

But that didn’t happen.

In fact, crypto spot market trading volume hit a 4.5-year low in August 2023.

It fell 7.78% to $475 billion.

It's like that one song you listen to and think this would top the charts, but then...meh.

And what about derivatives? They're down by 12% at $1.62 trillion.

Overall spot and derivatives combined went down 11.5% to $2.09 trillion.

I know what you’re thinking - Is this gonna be an end for crypto?

Well, god knows.

But what’s certain is that every revolutionary thing faced a phase where everyone thought about its end like

👉 Internet

👉 Amazon

👉 Apple

👉 AI

👉 Packaged doodh🥛

…and the list goes on.

So, crypto might get added to this list but for that, we gotta believe in it.

🛠 Resourcewala: Create Liquidity Pools

Heard about liquidity pools and think they're as complex as your ex?

Think again!

Creating liquidity pools, especially on UniswapV3, has become the coolest thing.

Not sure where to start? We gotcha! 😎

Today, we’ll spill on:

• What are liquidity pools? 💧

• The magic of UniswapV3! 🦄

• Step-by-step guide to set up your ERC20 tokens🕺

LFG! 🔥🔥🔥

🍼 Doodhshots: $24 Million Rekt

• 🎵 Bieber’s NFTs: Justin Bieber’s song “Company” is about to be dropped as an NFT collectible with 2000 mints. Beliebers are gonna bid these to the moon!

• 💰 Phishing Loss: An individual has lost $24 million from their wallet due to a likely crypto phishing attack. If I lost such money, I’m gonna become a gambling addict fo sho.

• 🥶 Frozen Funds: Celcius founder Alex Mashinsky's assets have been frozen by an order from the Department of Justice. Well, well, well…how the turntables!

• 😔 Pleading Guilty: Former FTX executive Ryan Salame has confirmed that he is going to plead guilty to criminal charges. He just gave up! Good!

• 🥷 BNB Decisions: Binance just revealed that there is a way they could’ve avoided an $11 million rugpull - by freezing wallets. Bro just revealed the darkest shit so easily.

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

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That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.

Today’s edition was brought to you by Ritik Gupta and Sumanth

Edited by: Arvind Krishna and Aakash Athawasya