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  • 😱 Coinbase Broke The Rules!

😱 Coinbase Broke The Rules!

PLUS: AI’s favourite crypto REVEALED!

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Gm, this is doodhwala, the only crypto newsletter that can also be an AI newsletter. 🤖

Don’t believe us? Read on! 👇

Here’s what we got for you today—

  • 😨 Coinbase knew?: Did Coinbase know all this while that they were breaking the rules?

  • 🤖 A.I. and Crypto: Arthur Hayes says A.I. itself would pick Bitcoin as its preferred mode of payment.

  • 📈 Cheese and Charts: The big boys love crypto.

  • 🛠️ Resourcewala: Learn the A, B & C of Ethereum terminology.

  • 🍼 Doodhshots: Tom Brady’s pocket repair costs touch $30 million.

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🔥 SEC's got a burning comeback

You know Coinbase, right? 😎

Guess what? They just got a not-so-nice response from the SEC. 📃

So, SEC sued Coinbase a month ago alleging.

But Coinbase fought back saying, "SEC, you can't touch us!" 😏

And now SEC hit back with, "Oh yes, we can!" 🍿

With this response, comes another accusation: Coinbase might’ve known that it’s violating the laws prior to SEC’s lawsuit.🔥 

SEC's got a burning comeback

Let’s break it down real quick:

So, the SEC alleged that Coinbase is acting like a broker, clearinghouse, and an exchange but unregistered. 🧐

And Coinbase was like , "No way! We're just a chill crypto platform and we didn't our actions violate securities laws." 😇

But, they've listed 13 different cryptos that might be unregistered securities. 😲

And according to SEC they knew that these cryptos might be securities.

Doodh 🥛 Fact: Securities are financial instruments like stocks or bonds that can be traded. The key is, they have to be registered according to federal laws.

Coinbase, a mega-rich company with top lawyers, didn't know they might break federal securities laws? 🤨

Yeah, sure, I also didn't know eating momos everyday would make me look like a momo.

And comes the shocker:

Coinbase themselves used a U.S. Supreme Court rule to figure out if certain cryptocurrencies are under federal securities laws. 😱

They even told other crypto companies to keep quiet about "securities talk." 🤐

In their own public files, Coinbase even says there's a risk → the stuff they list could be seen as securities. 👀

Feels like they knew they were breaking the speed limit but did it anyway, right? 🚗💨

All this because Coinbase wanted to grow its business. Risky business move?

Next, Coinbase tried to dodge the bullet with some fancy legal language . 📜

They said an investment contract must include a formal contract.

They also said investment contracts only count for asset sales if they're traded on secondary markets.

But SEC wasn't having it. They said, "Nope, that's not how the Howey Test works!" 😝

Wait, what's the Howey Test?

It's a test to determine whether something is an investment contract and falls under securities laws. 🤷‍♂️

And that’s the SEC isn't backing down:

They have two things to say against Coinbase's plea for judgement. 👩‍⚖️

1️⃣ The SEC says you don't need a formal contract for an investment. 📄

2️⃣ Even if you're trading stuff on other markets, you might still be messing with securities laws. 😨

Doodhwala’s Take:

Now, we're all waiting for the hearing on July 13 in the New York District Court. Can't wait to see what happens next. Doodh, anyone? 🥛

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🤖 Bitcoin = Native Currency for A.I.?

If you’re a fan of dystopian worlds, here’s a new one for you. 👇

Bitcoin 🤝 Artificial Intelligence.

That’s right- The robots and the digital coin can join hands to lead to the world’s betterment (or destruction).

Or at least—

That’s what Arthur Hayes, Former Bitmex CEO and full-time lover of 3ACs founders has to say.💏

What’s Arthur’s take on A.I. and Crypto working in sync?

Also, the bigger question is - Are A.I. and robots here to dominate the 💩 outta crypto?

1️⃣ A.I. will pick its own currency?

Arthur’s argument is rather quite simple.

If there is a day when Artificial Intelligence will take over the world and remove all the cow milk drinkin fellers like you and I—

Then there HAS to be a native currency on which it operates.🤑

And which one would that be?

Drumrolls…🥁….The one and only….BITCOIN.🎉

According to Hayes, an A.I.-based model would need a blockchain-based payment system to—

👉 Send and receive payments electronically.

👉 The payment system should be censorship resistant.

👉 Should have clear and transparent rules from the outset.

And who else do you think fits that role other than the beloved child of Satoshi Nakamoto himself?

2️⃣ Bitcoin is everything A.I. needs to stay alive.

Guess what?

Our beloved lover boi could actually be right with his prediction this time!

We know you’re askin-

Let us paint the picture this way 🎨

Imagine a dystopian future where A.I. has taken over a huge chunk of humanity.

And they’re making hella transactions all the time.

It would…kinda be stupid…if the transactions stop twice a week coz the banks were closed.💀

Yup.

It’s impossible for traditional banking to keep up with the pace of transactions in crypto.

Why not ETH?

Coz Arthur thinks that Bitcoin is the only true coin, and ETH has other applications.🤷

The point is - Arthur thinks that the value of Bitcoin will actually go up with integration into A.I.

In his very own words—

Bitcoin is best suited to maintain its value over time against AI’s electricity “foodstuffs.”

Bitcoin = Food now? Wtf?

Doodhwala’s take: We don’t know about how best Artificial Intelligence will take over the world, but if it comes between me and my doodh, there shall be war. 😠🥛

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📈 Cheese and Charts: Big Companies Love Blockchain

Guess what? More than half of the Fortune 100 companies are getting into blockchain!

Just like crypto bros are getting into doodh lately, rather than just beer.

No, seriously! Doodh is the most asked drink in any meet-up nowadays. 🥛

Since 2020, 52% of those companies have started projects in crypto, blockchain, or web3.

And they're not just thinking about it - about 60% of these projects have either started or are about to start since 2022 began. 🚀

The top 10 companies by number of web3 initiatives:

👉 Nike (5)

👉 IBM (18)

👉 Amazon (6)

👉 Citigroup (6)

👉 Alphabet (11)

👉 Microsoft (11)

👉 Coca Cola (5)

👉 Bank of America (5)

👉 Goldman Sachs (10)

👉 JP Morgan Chase (9)

But wtf are they doing this?

These companies know that the way we handle money around the world is old and needs an update.

They think blockchain could be the update they need to stay ahead of the competition. 💻

But there's a problem.

There aren't clear rules for how to use crypto and blockchain.

In fact, 87% of the Fortune 500 execs say we need clear rules to keep the US leading the world in finance. 🌐

And this is a big deal.

If the US doesn't make better rules, it could lose 1 million web3 developer jobs and 3 million other jobs to other countries by 2030. 🌍

So, are these big companies just trying to keep up with the trend, or are they making a smart move towards a blockchain future? What do you think? (REPLY and let us know 👇)

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🛠 Resourcewala: The A, B, Cs of Ethereum Terminology

Ethereum's more than just a random word you throw around to sound like a crypto maven at dinner parties.

It's a world in its own right, with its own jargon and nuances, and if you want to really thrive in this space, you gotta speak the language, baby! 💬

DeFi, Gas fees, Smart Contracts, ERC-20... The list goes on.

BUT DON’T PANIC! 💪

Today’s resource gets you familiar with the lingo. We tackle the basics like:

  1. DeFi? More like De-Fly 🚀

  2. ERC-20? Is it a Star Wars Droid? 🤖

  3. Gas Fees: Not about your car, bro 🚗

And many more.

🍼Doodhshots: $30 Million in Losses

  • 🐵 ‘Bored’ Apes: People are bored of the Bored Ape NFT collection, and don’t want to pay royalties anymore. The rise→ fall of the Apes.

  • 📉 30-million downfall: NFL player Tom Brady lost $30 million dollars with the collapse of FTX. Hey, can I get a quarter-back?

  • 🤖 A.I. Integrations: Lightning Labs announced a new set of tools that can integrate Bitcoin with LLMs like ChatGPT. Wait so Arthur Hayes was right?

  • 💎 Vitalik’s Argument: Vitalik says that the real enemy isn’t other chains, but rather a centralized world. He speakin faxxx tho ngl.

  • ♊ Gemini’s Lawsuit: Gemini filed a lawsuit accusing Digital currency group of Fraud. Where my fraudsters at?

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

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That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.

Today’s edition was brought to you by Ritik Gupta and Sumanth