💰 Uniswap Just Slapped Fees On Transactions

Gm, this is the doodhwala, the crypto newsletter that’s always got more in the tank. Especially in our NOS tank! 😎

We’re about to rip HARRRD! 🔥

Here’s what we got for you today:

• 💸 Uniswap Fees?: Uniswap Just Slapped Fees On Transactions

• 📜 Bankman’s Bankruptcy: Nishad’s Missing Money & Payouts

• 📈 Cheese and Charts: BNB Still BIG

• 🛠️ Resourcewala: Let’s Understand Social Recovery Wallets

• 🍼 Doodhshots: Horny For ETFs

  

 🤨 Why Uniswap, Why?

Uniswap.

The largest DEX platform in the world is going through a big change. 🤷‍♂️

And its consequences haven’t been good.

I mean who loves change? Except for Justin Bieber. IYKYK.

So wtf is happening with Uniswap?

It’s introducing a new FEE. 💰

What for?

Crypto swaps involving these👇

👉 DAI

👉 ETH

👉 LUSD

👉 USDC

👉 USDT

👉 WBTC

👉 GUSD

👉 XSGD

👉 WETH

👉 agEUR

👉 EUROC

So they're slapping a 0.15% fee on these coins but only if you're using their front end.. 🚪

Don’t worry about stablecoin swaps, they're safe. So are trades between ether and wrapped ether.

And the fee to kick in both the input and output token needs to be from the above list.

And no one loves to pay more. Not even Justin in this case.

But why the hell is Uniswap doing this? 🤔

Uniswap says it’s to keep their business running smoothly. Fair enough, everyone’s got issues bills!

Hayden Adams, the CEO of Uniswap, says this fee is super low compared to others.

We feel ya bro. The market is also not good currently. All thanks to the SEC. 🤦‍♂️

Now it’s time to look at the reactions and consequences of this move by Uniswap. 👇

From CX aka Crypto Twitter to big wallets making big transactions, there’s a lot that happened.

Here are the top whale transactions:

1. 💰 Wallet 1: 0x357dfdc34f93388059d2eb09996d80f233037cba

   • Sold: $184,627 of $UNI

   • Left in the wallet: A whole lot of nothing. $0.

2. 💰 Wallet 2: 0x0ddcb0769a3591230caa80f85469240b71442089

   • Sold: $159,320 of $UNI

   • Left: Yep, also empty

3. 💰 Wallet 3: 0x408613ba0eaf85675999cd3729ea3cbff84a6b21

   • Sold: $78,895 of $UNI

   • Left: Zero, zilch, nada

Just think about it - they didn’t keep even $1 worth of $UNI in their wallets.

They emptied their wallets of $UNI the same way my ex emptied her heart of me. 💔

Too bearish for $UNI? Maybe.

And these are just the top whales, there's a bunch more selling off their $UNI.

The overall $UNI sell volume has been over $ 1 MILLION just in the last 16 hours.

So, what's next for Uniswap Labs? 🤷‍♂️

They need to come out with something UNIque real quick cuz things don’t look good in the short term.

Rest? Only time will tell.

But for now, grab that glass of doodh and enjoy the newsletter.🥛

📜 Bankman’s Bankruptcy: Nishad’s Missing Money & FTX Payouts

You’re reading Bankman's Bankruptcy, a new section keeping you updated on one of the biggest shit-shows of the 21st century, doodhwala style!

The testifications for the FTX case are happening at lightning speed! ⚡

We had Caroline Ellison, Sam's Ex-girlfriend coming in to testify last week—

And revealed stuff about Sam's tie-ups with hookers in Thailand. 🤭

This week, we have his BRUDDA from High School and Prev. Tech Head of FTX - Nishad Singh coming in to testify. 👨‍⚖️

And Nishad had a few things to tell that might just change the course of this hearing—

Mainly with regard to his awareness of FTX’s missing customer funds. 😵💰

Ain't nobody questioning about the money's whereabouts now. 🤡

🔎 Revelation 1: Nishad knew that FTX was missing $8 billion

Say hello to Nishad Singh, part-time fraud Company Engineer—

Full-time walking like a diva even though you’re going to frikkin court absurdist. 🤷‍♂️

Now Nishad and SBF were high school Chums. 👥

This also meant he was the one involved in orchestrating a lot of “Behind the Curtain” stuff for FTX & Alameda. 🤫

That's probably why he testified against Sam in court and mentioned some juicy points about—

• How Sam spent close to a billion dollars in celebrity endorsements

• How Sam asked him to tweak the tech to ensure Alameda had unlimited funds to trade on FTX

• How Sam used Nishad’s Bank Account to process political donations instead of his own

All of this combined with the fact that he always knew that there was $8 billion of customer funds missing.

Now that's one way to have a straight-up ticket to prison. 🤡

🔎 Revelation 2: From Admiration to → Shame.

Nishad also admitted to one important thing.

His shame with this whole situation that's he had to go with Sam and his companies. 🤦‍♂️

We heard from Caroline that it was a relief that she was finally able to tell the truth. 😮‍💨

And now Nishad added fuel to the flame—

Telling that his Admiration for Sam in the early days of his life turned to shame very soon. 😶

Doesn't matter tho.

They both going to prison anyway. 🤷‍♂️

🔎 Revelation 3: FTX Payouts happening by mid-2024

New announcement - The FTX bankruptcy team has confirmed that there is a good chance that payouts can happen by mid-2024 to customers. 🗓️

This money includes about $8.9 billion for FTX users and about $166 million for FTX US users.

Seems about right, considering the total money lost in this shitshow. 😶

📈 Cheese & Charts: BNB To The Moon…

Regulatory concerns? Pfft! 🙄

Despite the big scary "R" word (yeah, regulations), BNB is winning the game. 😎

It’s just like Doodhwala who doesn’t care how bull or bear the market is and delivers anyway.🥛

Wait, what's BNB?

BNB is Binance blockchain, the world's mightiest crypto exchange.

Let’s look the numbers:

Spoiler: BNB ain’t just participating; it’s DOMINATING. 🤯

• Base: 76.4k

• Optimism: 85.5k

• Arbitrum: 101k

• BNB Chain: 1.1M (Wait, WHAAAT?!) 🤯

Yup, BNB Chain is like that kid at school who always had the latest sneakers.

But instead of kicks, they've got users. Over a MILLION of them. Daily!

So what's the secret sauce?

Is it the tech? The community? Or just CZ’s magic? 🪄

Hit REPLY and tell us what you think👇

🛠 Resourcewala: The NEED for Social Recovery Wallets

So, you've got your crypto game face on, and you're HODLing like a pro.

But deep down, you fear the 'what-ifs'... What if you lose access? What if your key gets stolen? 😱

Imagine losing your phone but still being able to log in to your Insta because your bestie confirms it's you.

That's social recovery, but for your crypto! 🌟

Today’s resource covers WHY embracing social recovery wallets is not the future; it's the NOW:

• Why we even need Social Recovery Wallets? 🤷

• How they are transforming the way we look at security 🔐

• The genius minds pushing this tech 🧠

PLUS: The potential flip side (because we keep it 100, always) 😬

READ TIME: Shorter than your coffee doodh break! 🥛

LFG! 🔥🔥🔥

🍼 Doodhshots: ETF’s Have Pent-Up Interest

• 💧 Liquidity Problems: During the Bitcoin pump and dump this week, Binance faced a lot of liquidity issues to fill orders. Let’s hope there aren’t any more slippages.

• 🥵 Uncontrollable Urge: Blackrock CEO Larry Fink said that the pump & dump showed how there was pent-up interest in a BTC ETF. Bro’s horny for ETFs.

• 🇺🇸 Don’t Withdraw!: Binance US has halted all USD withdrawals from the exchange, after halting deposits earlier this year. Chuckles…I’m in danger.

• 🧍Standing In The Way: Cathie Woods from ARK investing firm said that Gary Gensler is the only thing standing in the way of an ETF. Everyone’s tired of Gensler at this point!

• 👎 Ether Fail?: Six ETH Futures ETFs that debuted this week have shown very little participation, attracting less than $10 million in a week. All these ETF talks and no one wants a bite of it?

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

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That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.

Today’s edition was brought to you by Ritik Gupta and Sumanth

Edited by: Arvind Krishna and Aakash Athawasya