🤬 3 WORDS — I’m sorry. Read:

Gm, this is the doodhwala, the only crypto newsletter that makes you feel as lucky as finding a Rs 10 note in your jeans pocket. 🤑

Here’s how you lucked out today:

• 🤬 3 WORDS — I’m sorry. Read:

• 😢 Crypto Resolution: Broken in < 5 days

• 🚮 How are Crypto BROs staying SAFE?

• 😹 Milky Meme of the day

The cute puggos want you to share the newsletter. 🥺

🤬 3 WORDS — I’m sorry. Read:

It’s only Day 5 of 2023, and so far we’ve got:

• SBF pleading NOT guilty

• Bitcoin OG GETTING hacked

• Twitch Streamer gets into web3, launches a cryptocurrency, an NFT collection, a web3 game, takes investors’ money and gambles it away!

Oh, happy Thursday. 🙃

Here’s a story that’ll make your blood boil worse than that time when your little brother ate the last piece of birthday 🍰 even though he knows dark chocolate is 🫵 your 🫵 favourite flavour!!!

DAMN YOU chotu! 🤬

Meet DNP3.

He’s a Twitch gamer.

(you know he’s a gamer because he has a number in his name, btw our gamer name is #DO08)

The dude’s content is basically him:

• playing Minecraft or Among Us

• doing massive giveaways

• making cringe funny vids

• not drinking any milk

Need any more 🚩?!?

Once he got popular on Twitch, YouTube, and Twitter, he did what every influencer did —

launched a course on how to become an influencergot into crypto and web3

My dude launched a cryptocurrency called — CLUCOIN. And this it’s REAL definition:

I’m not making this up.

They actually promoted it as a “decentralized Binance platform” and “passive income” token. 😂

He even had the audacity to call it a “charity-focused cryptocurrency.” 🤬

Life wtf bro, not cool.

Here’s $CLUCOIN’s price chart (my 10th-grade marks look better than this tbh).

Then during the bull run, DNP3 went full on web3 bro, and launched:

• The Goober, an NFT collection

• GridCraft, a metaverse

• Xenia, a P2E web3 game

Man’s doing more things than Jonny Kim, that dude who makes me question why I spend my life writing a crypto newsletter:

The funding numbers ain’t public but no doubt DNP3 raised a ton of money for his projects because it's web3 of course. 🤷‍♂️

I mean, in 2021, I slapped “web3” to my Maruti 800, and a VC said he’d put $100k into it.🤑 This year, it’s not even going for as much as a Hero cycle. 😭

After starting these web3 projects, raising funds, claiming he "never stops building," and then going quiet, DNP3 admitted he gambled away all his investors’ and users’ money.

🙃

He confessed in 3 words:

In the longer note, he’s said addicted to gambling and betting on sports games.

(we’re not putting the name because you weirdos will go there and start gambling, and we don’t want that on our conscience)

What would you do when a founder:

👉 Raises Money👉 Creates Hype👉 Delays The Product👉 Gambles Away Everything

On Twitter people are reacting in 3 (2 weird + 1 appropriate) ways:

1️⃣ Stupid sympathy

2️⃣ Bad advice

3️⃣ Normal reactions

Doodhwala’s take:

Seeing things like this is real annoying to us. Because crypto critics are going — “see I told you crypto was literally people gambling with real money HAHAHAH”

Yes, this is bad. But this 💩 isn’t how most founders are.

Give a shoutout to some 🔥 web3 founders you know and we’ll feature them in the newsletter.

REPLY TO THIS EMAIL. 📩

🎮 Gameswala: Non-Fungible Doodh

The art below belongs to a pretty POPULAR NFT collection.

The current floor price for this collection is 6.9 ETH (nice)

Guess the NFT collection!

Crypto New Year Resolution: Broken in < 5 days

2023 is not off to a great start, unfortunately.

We broke af 😢

Even in crypto, there have seen 3 MAJOR exploits already! (and we thought this year would be different ☹️)

The first one was the OG Bitcoin Core Dev getting hacked for 200 BTC ($3.6 million).

And now there have been TWO more:

1️⃣ A DeFi user goes phishing

An anon user of one of the hottest perpetual protocols rn, GMX, fell for a phishing attack that cost him h̶i̶s̶ d̶o̶o̶d̶h̶ $3.5 million in GMX tokens.

What’s phishing?

Basically you want to go to google.com but you are taken to gooogle.com which is controlled by the hacker and looks exactly like the original. 😥

According to on-chain analysis, the hacker has already converted these GMX tokens to ETH (and probably moved to the Bahamas to start a “revolutionary” new crypto exchange 😅)

2️⃣ Fake NFTs, Real Emotions

Magic Eden, the NFT marketplace for Solana NFTs, allowed scammers to list and sell fake NFTs as being part of the real collections.

The real collections in question?

• Doodhwala NFTs (nah, we prolly wouldn’t launch on Solana first 🤷‍♂️)

• y00ts

• ABC

But unfortunately, a few people did fall for it and bought the fake NFTs.

Magic Eden did resolve the issue later on and asked the users to do a HARD browser refresh. (that’s what she said??)

Clearly, getting rid of these scams is going to be one tough fight.

But we really expected the beginning of the year to be slightly better and fall back on the same path as last year. 🤷‍♂️

I guess old habits die hard, eh?

📈 Chaach and Charts: Gotta keep SAFE

In this market, everyone is ramping up their safety.

Not in the bedroom 🙄But with their crypto.😲

So, many crypto users are using → Gnosis Safe, a multi-signature wallet by Gnosis.

Gnosis Safe is a way for a crypto company with 100 or 2 people, to:

• store their crypto

• sign transactions

• use DApps

Using 1 safe with multiple signatories (that’s signature makers for you CBSE bois and girls!)

SAFE activity is on 🔥 check it out:

⚒ Resourcewala: Safety First, Kids!

Crypto is SUPER FUN most of the time.🔥

What with all the WAGMI, LFG, DOOOODH, and stuff.

But there is also the dark side of crypto filled with scams, hacks and rug pulls. 😥

Some of it you cannot avoid but MOST OF it you really can.

So how do you do it? 🤔

Simple. Just follow these really EASY steps and you should be good. 🙌

Chegg it out! (btw, you really wanna see the 11th one on this list 😅)

🥛 Milky Meme of the day

💰Answer💰

Let us know what you think 👇

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter (@DoodhwalaDaily)

That’s all for today bhaiyo aur bheno! Naale Sigona!

Aakash "Dahi Cheeni" Athawasya & Arvind "Doodh Peda" Krishna

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.

None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.