🫢 $3.7 billion - That's it.

Namaste, this the doodhwala. The crypto newsletter that’s like listening to a Punjabi rap song. You don’t understand anything, but you sure as hell can VIBE to it 😎

Here’s what we vibin’ to today:

• Worst Bitcoin Price Predictions

• New Year, Same Old Hacks?

• 2023: The Year Of Perps?

• Milky Meme Of The Day

Worst Bitcoin Price Predictions

We at the doodhwala, HATE price predictions, here’s why:

1. We can’t predict prices

2. They don't frickin work

Yet everyone in crypto, from that “tEcHinCal aNalYst” with 32 subscribers on Youtube to that Buidler with an actual product puts out a Bitcoin price prediction video or tweet.

And it’s never on 🎯

So, today we’re gonna see who's making these bold (and whacky) predictions?

3 categories. Let’s start with the loudest of em all

💼 Bitcoin Bag Hodlers

No surprises here!

The big bag holders sittin on a bunch of BTC come out every year and say:

I predict Bitcoin will go to *insert crazy number here* because of *insert wild never-gonna-happen theory here*

One of the top hodlers making wild predictions is — Tim Draper.

Yea, that’s the same Draper as Draper Startup House.

He makes a prediction every year. Even last year which was absolutely 💩 for Bitcoin. My dude was SOOOOO off on his Bitcoin price prediction last year. 😆

Draper said 1 BTC would = $250,000 in 2022.

He even got a shirt about the prediction:

I guess that shirt is a size L, just like the prediction.

You’ve got a better chance of predicting why your girlfriend was mad at you.

And why is Draper so INSANELY bullish on Bitcoin?

🤨

That BTC stash Draper owns is worth $500 million right now, if Bitcoin rose to $250,000, it would be worth $7.5 billion. He can buy:

• all the IPL teams

• 35 Cristiano Ronaldos

• a bottle of water at the airport (have you seen how expensive it is?!?! 😭)

And he's sticking with this number for 2023. 🤡

🛠 Buidlers

Even crypto builders wanna push their predictions.

A famous builder comes out and says, “I wouldn’t be surprised if Bitcoin rose by 200% by mid-2023.”

Don’t believe me? See for yourself.

Erik Voorhees is a True OG, having started one of the oldest crypto exchanges, ShapeShift.

And even he’s putting out price predictions. 😭

He says Bitcoin will be at $40k by mid-2023.

But why are BUIDLers putting out Bitcoin price predictions?

Because it’s 💊 Hopium 💊

It brings in a bunch of people into the space and helps build momentum for buidling.

🤔

🏦 Banks and Investooors

Even BIG banks have nothing better to do than give random Bitcoin price numbers.

Here are 2 for you:

1️⃣ Standard Chartered (that bank that sponsors Liverpool): $5,000 per BTC

2️⃣ Mark Mobius (a real-life Charles Xavier): $10,000 per BTC

Banks think that as global economic conditions worsen, central banks will look to cut spending to control the invisible villain that is inflation. 👺

And with that investors will say HELLNAH to Bitcoin and tech companies' stocks.

Instead, they’ll go for safe investments like:

⚱️ gold📜 bonds🥛 milk (the safest of em all)

Doodhwala's take:

We look at Bitcoin price predictions like we look at a week old milk i.e. DON'T TOUCH IT.

Most people who "predict prices" are either pumping their bags (hodlers), their product or industry (buidlers) or are paid to (banks).

No one is doing it because they KNOW where Bitcoin is gonna go.

So, take it with a pinch TRUCK LOAD of 🧂

We've got a QUESTION for 🫵 You 🫵 what do you think of Bitcoin price predictions??

New year: Same Supporter for BUIDLers

It’s the new year, you know what that means?

1. “I gotta start working out.”

2. “I gotta get out of this dead-end job”

3. “I need to FINALLY build in web”

We can’t really help you with 1️⃣ and 2️⃣.

But we know someone who can support you in BUIDLING in web3.

That someone is Brinc and Animoca Brands.

They’re launching the ZK Advancer for Indian web startups with $250k in funding and 1-1 mentor sessions.

New Year, Same Old Hacks?

2022 was THE biggest year for hacks, rug pulls, and scams. 💰

Guess how much total money was lost last year?

$3.7 BILLION! 🤯

That’s more than the market cap of:

• Cosmos

• Chainlink

• Filecoin

• Solana (nah…SOL is still strong ant $5B 😎)

Just between January and October of 2022, the crypto industry lost $3 Billion.

And talking about October…that month saw the most number of hacks with 44 incidents that led to over $550 million being stolen. ☹️

People even changed the name of the month to:

• Hacktober

• Rektober

• Paanitober??

2022 surprisingly ended with a pretty low amount of money being stolen.

December saw around $62 million being stolen through hacks, which makes it the lowest for the whole year. 😅

Prolly the hackers were also enjoying the Christmas break? You know…with their hacker friends and fam.

The common thread among most of these hacks over the past year was that they were all genuine security breaches.

They weren’t necessarily human “oops! I accidentally pressed the ‘get rekt’ button” moments.

Like when we accidentally sent you two emails on the same day. 😅

From a bug in the code to a program logic exploitation, things were bad!

And there 2 things we can understand from the year of hacks, which was 2022:

1️⃣ The hackers are getting really good at what they do (scary but true ☹️)2️⃣ Security audit companies might be the big winners of 2023

So here’s to hoping 2023 will be a better year and we can finally have a Doodhtober! 🥛

🎮 Gameswala: Our jokes may be chronic, but the DOODH is ICONIC

Given below is a screenshot of a popular movie.

You may also notice an ICONIC glass of DOODH in it 🥛

Guess the name of the movie!

(answer at the bottom of the email 👇 )

📈 Chaach and Charts: It's a PERP-ful world!

Just like a Drake song, this DeFi product started from the bottom and now it’s ALL THE WAY UP!

Perpetual protocols started with just a couple of hundred daily users in late 2021 and now it has over 15k users! 🙌

What’s a Perpetual protocol?

GMX is still the king of ‘em all but the competition is ready to get intense in 2023! 🔥

Look at the chains, Arbitrum and Avalanche are the preferred chains for perp traders mainly because of:

⚡️ high speed🔻 low transaction fees

2023 will be fun 🥛

⚒ Resourcewala: Get the best outta Crypto Twitter  

Twitter is a GREAT tool for finding crypto alpha and staying updated with the trends.

There are so many awesome accounts to follow:

• Doodhwala

• Meetupswala

• DoodhwalaDaily

Okay, you got us.

In all seriousness tho, Twitter is a HUGE asset for crypto degens.

But it can all get a little too overwhelming when you are following too many accounts.

And optimizing your Twitter feed to find MAXIMUM alpha is the BEST way to start the new year. 😎

This super insightful Twitter thread shows you how.

So let’s get started, shall we? 🔥

🥛Milky Meme Of The Day

💰Answer💰

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter (@DoodhwalaDaily)

That’s all for today bhaiyo aur bheno! Naale Sigona!

Aakash "Dahi Cheeni" Athawasya & Arvind "Doodh Peda" Krishna

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.

None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.