🎇 New Year, New Doodhwala

Gm, this is the doodhwala, the only crypto newsletter that won’t judge you if you don’t have New Year plans.

Do what you want G. ✊

This is the last doodhwala edition of the week, month, quarter, and year.

Phew! A lot has happened this year.

• Messi FINALLY won the world cup

• Kohli FINALLY scored a century

• Vegans were FINALLY confirmed as nutcases (👏 SBF)

• SRK FINALLY came back to the silver screen

And the doodhwala FINALLY made crypto news fun again!

We started a few months ago, and now, thousands are reading us daily! 🥹

That’s more than we’d ever thought possible. But yeah, we’re not stopping there. 💪

Nope. We’ve got BIG plans!

Here are our BIG plans for 2023 👇

1️⃣ Podcast (you'll finally hear us!)

We have a podcast, but we’ve taken our foot off the ⛽️ here.

But in 2023, we’re gonna be launching 2 episodes a week:

→ Rundowns of the crypto market→ Long-form chats with interesting crypto people

Keep a track of the podcast here 👇

2️⃣ Video (you'll finally see us):

We know you love seeing our faces (probably not Arvind’s tho) so we’re gonna drop a lot of:

FUN + CRINGE + informative videos on our Youtube and Instagram

And it’s not gonna be the boring interviews, but more deep dives with cool graphics and stuff.

3️⃣ New Website (you'll finally read *more* of us):

Right now, we write 1 article a day — it’s the newsletter that you read (pls tell me you do) daily.

But we wanna write a lot more. And annoy you a lot more.

So, we’re buidling a whole new website with more and more articles!!

👉 The daily emails will remain as it is, but we’ll have a lot more articles here 👈

But for now, let’s get back into the big bad world of crypto.

Here’s what wez got for yaz:

• Crypto WrapUp: The Biggest Events Of Each Month

• Crypto Doodhshots: Best Crypto Tweets of 2022

• Chaach and Charts: No gifts from Santa for this platform

• Milky Meme Of The Day

Congratulations on survivng another bear market year 👏

Crypto WrapUp: The Biggest Events Of Each Month

This is the average Jai.

He just woke up from a coma that he fell into in December 2021, when:

• Bitcoin was $50,000

• ETH was $4,000

• SOL was $200

• LUNA was $100

We can't catch him up with EVERYTHING that happened, so we're gonna do The Biggest Events in each month of 2022.

Oh Boy! Is he in for a surprise 🤫

1️⃣ January: NFTs were going absolutely crazy. 🔥

OpenSea, the biggest marketplace (which just supported Ethereum and Polygon NFTs back then) hit the highest monthly sales sales volume:

2️⃣ February: India launches a killer piece of crypto regulation. 🔪

Killer = It killed the Indian crypto ecosystem and forced companies and founders to move abroad.

It's like they did the reverse Swades.

During the Budget 2022, the Indian government introduced:

• 30% capital gains tax on crypto gains

• 1% TDS on all crypto transactions

• Prevented traders to carry forward losses

And the government stopped payment partners from working with crypto companies. 🙃

Less than a year later, Indian exchanges are firing staff and traders are moving to foreign exchanges. 💀

3️⃣ March: Ronin Bridge Hacked

Who knew the biggest hack of 2022 would be a bridge for a Web3 game.

But it was.

In March, Axie Infinity's (Pokemon on the blockchain) Ronin bridge was hacked for:

• 173k ETH

• 25.5 million USDC

That's close to $650 million!!

And get this — the hackers were part of North Korea's Lazarus Group.

First, they impersonated recruiters, and now they're impersonating someone even scarier to hack crypto users.

4️⃣ + 5️⃣ April and May: LUNA rises and dumps 🌗

In April 2022:

• LUNA was trading at $120

• Terra had a $40 billion market cap

• Anchor Protocol had $17 billion in UST locked

King Kwon was raging on Twitter saying, "your size is not size" and even placing million-dollar bets.

A month later, Terra collapsed and LUNA went, not to 0, but close enough.

This is the greatest rise and fall since the Italian football team in the past few years 🇮🇹

And no one knows the real location of Do Kwon, but he keeps making an appearance on podcasts. 🤷‍♂️

6️⃣ + 7️⃣ June and July: 3AC and Lending Companies Fall

After LUNA and UST went down the 🚽 anyone who was left holding the 💩 was flushed as well.

First, it was Su Zhu and Kyle Davies' 3 Arrows Capital, the over-leveraged crypto hedge fund which announced liquidation.

Then it was a string of crypto lending companies like:

• Celsius

• Voyager

• Babel Finance

• Hodlnaut

• Vauld

This massive fall led to crypto moving:

← Out of exchanges→ Self custody

8️⃣ August: Tornado Cash Arrest

In August, the US Treasury Department (the money regulators) sanctioned Tornado Cash.

Tornado Cash = Throwing your cash into a tornado to turn it into crypto ❌Tornado Cash = A privacy crypto mixing DApp on Ethereum ✅

The DApp was allegedly used by the ☝️ Lazarus Group ☝️ to launder money it stole in crypto hacks.

The US govt banned Americans from using a decentralized application on a decentralized blockchain.

Like what?!?!

Tornado Cash's source code was wiped from GitHub and its developer was arrested.

🤬 🤬 🤬

9️⃣ September: The Merge Finally Happened

On September 15, Ethereum's execution layer was FINALLY FINALLY merged with the Beacon Chain.

Proof of Work → Proof of Stake

But new questions came up:

• Are the staking pools/entites too centralized?

• When will the staking timeline get over?

• Is ETH really deflationary?

• Is Vitalik really an alien?

So many questions 🫣

1️⃣0️⃣ October: Binance HACKED

In a year that was BADASS for CZ and Binance, they did have a really really BIG HACK.

On October 7, Binance's "blockchain" the Binance Smart Chain was hacked for nearly $600 million.

The origin of the attack → The Binance cross-chain bridge.

How did Binance respond?

They suspended transactions AND halted the chain.

And people ofc questioned the validity of BSC's validators 😂

But CZ, funnily enough, had the last laugh.

1️⃣1️⃣ + 1️⃣2️⃣ November and December: The Fall of FTX and arrest of SBF

In November and December, the unthinkable happened.

The doodhwala actually made a funny joke.

The perfect company — FTX — led by the boy genius — SBF — came crashing down.

Here's how it went down:

• CoinDesk leaked a report that Alameda had ~60% FTT tokens in their books

• Binance and CZ grew skeptical of its FTT's centralized supply

• CZ said he was gonna dump $2 billion in FTT

• FTT crashed worse than 🇩🇪 at the world cup

• Alameda was liquidated

• FTX paused withdrawals

And that's when the gig was revealed. 🫣

FTX was siphoning customer funds to give capital for Alameda to trade (and lose) crypto..

SBF was revealed as a fraud, a drug abuser, an orgy-enjoyer, and worst of all, a vegan. 🤢

And now, we're here 👇

Yes, that's SBF:

• in a suit

• with facial hair

• surrounded by police

• about to go to jail for a long time

And that's the 2022 crypto wrap, Jai. 🙏

(btw, Jai is an AI-generated face, so don't sue us you Jai look-a-likes 😭)

Crypto Doodhshots: Best Crypto Tweets of 2022

🔓 Super Hacked: Kevin O’Leary’s Twitter account was hacked earlier today and guess what the hackers have been doing with it? Promoting crypto giveaways.

❤️ Most Liked: Find out which tweets were the most liked on the fun corner of the internet — Crypto Twitter.

⏬ The token price just keeps dropping for Solana’s SOL. It fell by another 6% in the past couple of days. Do better days lie head?

🫢 Guess who? The new judge in the SBF’s case has quite a bit of crypto experience. He has already sent one crypto fraudster to jail.

🐘 Big move: A whale crypto tracker just alerted us that a HUGE amount of XRP tokens are being moved. Almost in the range of hundreds of millions of dollars. Is something fishy going on or is it just a routine thing?

Chaach and Charts: No gifts from Santa for this DApp

Uniswap launched its NFT aggregator platform last month and the community went…WILD!

Its volume reached close to $2.8 million this month.

Yeah…pretty, pretty, pretty WILD!

With around 2.8k users and well over $100k in daily volume, things were going fine for the platform.

Then…Santa Claus came to town.

The overall volume dropped quite a bit due to the lack of activity during the holiday season.

From 450 unique sales in the first couple of days to just 46 on December 24th.

Yikes!

It’s a LONG way up for Uniswap NFTs and we just wait and see how it does in the new year.

Milky Meme Of The Day

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter (@DoodhwalaDaily)

That’s all for today bhaiyo aur bheno! Naale Sigona!

Aakash "Dahi Cheeni" Athawasya & Arvind "Doodh Peda" Krishna

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.

None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.