👀 Rob a bank and earn Bitcoin

Namaste everyone, this is the doodhwala, the only crypto newsletter that gives you the feeling of a juicy and ripe Mango in the summers 🤤

So many events lined up this weekend! REGISTER HERE!!

Here’s what’s sweet today:

• This $100 million Mango hack isn’t an Aaam story 🥭

• Rob a bank, get rewarded in crypto!!

• Chaach and charts: ETH’s betas are beating Avalanche

• Milky Meme of the Day

Let’s get after it!

This $100 million Mango hack isn’t an Aaam story 🥭

We Indians love 🥭 and we love the drama 😮 and this story has surprisingly go them both.

It involves a:

• $100 million drain

• Mangoes

• Every Indian dev’s fav blockchain — Solana

• some Aaam

• two BIG mistakes — from the exchange and the hacker!

Let’s get into it.

Mango Markets is a decentralized derivatives exchange on Solana.

They allow users to take 20x goblin trades on a buncha coins like SOL, BTC, ETH, AVAX, DOODH, and more.

Mango Markets also has a native coin → $MNGO, which can be used as collateral on the exchange.

Here’s what the hacker did:

1️⃣ Bought a TON of MNGO on the exchange FTX

2️⃣ Price of MNGO pumps like CRAZY

3️⃣ Borrowed other crypto on Mango Markets using MNGO as collateral

At this point he had:

Borrowed → valuable crypto like SOL, and a liquid staking Solana token MSOL (Marinade Staked SOL) + some MNGO (👀 secret weapon 👀)

Lent → super inflated MNGO (that was worth 2x what it’s worth before the pump he caused)

At this point, the dude is up $100 million, but he fudged up in one instance.

In the middle of his getaway, the dude sends $7.5 million from the address he used to exploit Mango (to make it Kacha Mango 😭) to his Ethereum address.

The best part → his ENS name is ponzishorter.eth 😂

Dude’s sitting on early $30 million in DAI (a stablecoin) but his identity is known

So, he gets CHAALU!

Remember that the dude had a secret weapon → some MNGO tokens

And Mango Markets is a DAO - so the community makes decisions through voting.

And voting requires the MNGO token. Which the hacker has a TON of.

😭

Here’s what my dude does:

➡️ Submits a proposal to — partially return the funds if Mango doesn’t send the crypto cops behind him

⬅️ Uses his MNGO tokens to vote YES on the proposal

Now the man’s sitting there going:

So, what did we learn outta all this?

Well, the obvious takeaway is — Kaccha Mango Bite is the best 1 rupee you’ll ever spend.

The not-so-serious takeaway is — this ain’t a hack, a drain, or an exploit. It’s just one dude taking advantage of a loophole.

The problem lies in the — utility of MNGO

Think about it this way:

A bank allows you to use its bonds as collateral to take a loan.

You know the bonds are 💩

You buy the bonds and take up loans in INR

You have INR 🤝 The bank has its own 💩 bonds

🤷‍♂️

Doodhwala’s take: My dude is bound to get into shit, especially now that his identity is known. But this emphasizes that financial juggadu is common in crypto. It’s also very funny. So, learn and laugh!

Rob a bank, get rewarded in crypto!!

Do you like to:

• steal from people

• run away from authority

• beat up innocent people on the streets

• hang out with drug dealers and gang bangers

Then you're probably part of an Indian political party! 👀

Or you’re a BIG fan of Grand Theft Auto (GTA) the OG video game which taught us how to…drive…among other things.

For the few who live under a rock, GTA allows you to do all the things you see on Gangs of Wasseypur.

Except it’s virtual! 🥹

And rumour has it, they’re integrating crypto!

Yup!

GTA 6 is around the corner (FINALLYY!!) and there’s a buncha leaks which claim that it could have a crypto drop.

There are two ways this integration would work:

1️⃣ payments: using crypto for in-game purchases

2️⃣ rewards: using crypto to reward users for in-game achievements

In terms of the actual coin — it’s likely to be one of the either of the BIG DAWGs:

• BTC: if it’s a simple payment and rewarding system

• ETH: if it’s a complex system with more token functionalities

Although, it would be kinda cool if GTA dropped their own coin like $GTA, or $DEAD or $SHOOT, or $KILL, or $LOOT (how’d my parents allow me to buy this game LMAO)

Why they DOING this crypto thing?

First off — there’s no confirmation of a GTA crypto integration. But let’s run with it!

There’s been a mad growth of play-to-earn (P2E) games in the past year. And that’s making a bunch of these legacy game makers hesitant.

So, they’re pivoting harder than Fair and Lovely to Glow and Lovely.

And it’s working (hell the doodhwala is talking about them)

But will it work?

Nah we don’t think so.

🔥Doodhwala’s hot chai alert 🔥

Why won’t it work?

A big chunk of the game's audience is kids.

And kids are not playing the game for the crypto earnings (although they could tbh), they’re playing it for the…quality education about urban infrastructure.

They don’t really care about crypto.

Look at social media companies that’ve integrated crypto, not a lot of their users are actually using crypto.

The games that will actually succeed at integrating cryptos will be fun + crypto first games.

But robbing a bank and earning BTC is something we’re hella looking forward to. 👀

Chaach and charts: ETH’s betas are beating Avalanche

Earlier this year, if you’d ask the average crypto bro which chains they love, they’d say:

• Ethereum

• Avalanche

• Solana

• Gold chain

Certainly not these two — Arbitrum and Optimism (you’d think I’m talking about the latest meme coin to drop)

Arbitrum and Optimism are layer-2 scaling solutions created to make Ethereum faster.

They’re like the Ejipura flyover, except it’s already built and processing millions of transactions erryday. 😢

Arbitrum and Optimism each process 200k transactions a day, that’s more than Avalanche (an entirely different chain)

So, if an Ethereum L2 is doing better than an Ethereum alternative L1, what’s the damn point? 👀

Milky Meme of the Day

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter (@DoodhwalaDaily)

That’s all for today bhaiyo aur bheno! Naale Sigona!

Aakash "Dahi Cheeni" Athawasya & Arvind "Doodh Peda" Krishna

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.

None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.