💰 Will The SEC Cancel Grayscale’s Bitcoin ETF?

Gm this is the doodhwala, the crypto newsletter that’s 1000x more entertaining than a made-for-entertainment exhibition boxing match between celebrities. 🤷‍♂️

I mean…wtf was that Logan Paul??? 🤦‍♂️

Here’s what we got for you today:

• 🧑‍⚖️ SEC’s Power: Will The SEC Cancel Grayscale’s ETF?

• 📜 Bankman’s Bankruptcy: BlockFi, Burglars and Bullishness

• 📈 Cheese and Charts: ETH vs BTC- Who’s Winning?

• 🛠️ Resourcewala: WTF is DeFi?

• 🍼 Doodhshots: Ferrari X Crypto

  

 🚀SEC’s Next Move = Bitcoin’s Future?

SEC (U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission).

It’s been like that bitchy ex that still puts toxicity in your life cuz she can’t see you happy with someone else.

So we all know about Grayscale and the SEC.

If no, we’ll do a recap real quick cuz we got your back:

So, Grayscale has a Bitcoin Trust and they want to change it into a spot Bitcoin ETF. 🟠

Now, the SEC, trying to be the strict parent was like, “Nope, not happening!” 🙅‍♂️

But then, a court in August ordered SEC to review that application again!” 🧐

Now, it seems the SEC is okay with reviewing it out again and won't appeal the ruling. 🤯

Wtf is a spot Bitcoin ETF? 🤔

But here's the thing:

→ The SEC might still say no to Grayscale. 🚦

→ If that happens, Grayscale can appeal. 🔄

→ And the story will keep going. 🍿

Some bigshots analysts, like James Seyffart, are throwing around predictions. 👇

And there's more! 📜

There are about seven other Bitcoin ETFs waiting for the SEC to say yes or no. 📬

This is what can happen according to a Bloomberg executive👇

• A 75% chance of atleast one ETF will be accepted in 2023. 📅

• A 90% chance for a yes in January 2024, especially for one from Cathie Wood’s ARK Invest. 🆙

I hope it gets approved this year only, atleast I can have some money to enjoy New Year.

So, what can happen next? 🤷‍♂️

👉 The SEC is thinking things over

👉 Grayscale is waiting

👉 And we're all watching the biggest thing to happen for crypto. 🎭

But in all this fuss don’t you forget to drink your doodh.🥛

We use 100% of our brains to be this funny. 😭

📜 Bankman's Bankruptcy: BlockFi, Burglars & Bullishness

 📜 Bankman’s Bankruptcy: BlockFi, Burglars and Bullishness

You’re reading Bankman's Bankruptcy, a new section keeping you updated on one of the biggest shit-shows of the 21st century, doodhwala style!

If you thought the weekend would be quiet for this debacle—

You are so wrong. 💀

On Friday, the court had BlockFi coming in to testify, and just like everyone else before them—

The blame game was fully on point for Sam. 🥱

What was the premise?

And what are the new revelations in this 💩-show?

🔍 Revelation 1: BlockFi didn’t have to file Bankruptcy if not for FTX collapse

Zac Prince, the CEO of BlockFi called out against Sam on Friday—

And also revealed that BlockFi didn't have to file for Bankruptcy if Alameda & FTX were solvent. 😵

You see before Alameda went bust, BlockFi had lent them close to $850 million and they also had about $350 million that they were using to trade on FTX.

So in Zac’s testimony, he mentioned how the company had lost a ‘little over a billion dollars’ in November. 😳

And that's why they were forced to file bankruptcy just 3 weeks after FTX went down. 📉

Hey man look, we have no problem with you blaming Sam, but also —

Don't use words like ‘a little over a billion’, imma retire 3 generations of my family over that ‘little’ money you lost. 💀

🔍 Revelation 2: The FTX Hacker was Russian

Something new that was revealed over the weekend was details about the FTX hacker. 🥷

Elliptic Research came out with a new report that revealed the activities of the hacker.

To bring you up to speed, during the FTX collapse, there was a hack that hit the exchange, where they lost close to $477 million USD. 💰

Well, there have been new revelations that show that the FTX hack had some links to Russian hackers, and also—

Alameda’s sister company & investor, RenBridge. 🌉

The hacker apparently used various cross-chain bridges and crypto mixers to move the money into various other cryptos like Bitcoin and Ethereum.

Here’s a chart that shows the various bridges they used as well as the mixers to end up in the end user’s wallet. 👛

🔍 Revelation 3: FTX Estate kinda sus

Finally, one hella sus that happened over the weekend was FTX estate staking their SOL. 🤔

You see although FTX has all authority by the court to invest their existing assets into yield-bearing returns—

The last thing that people expected was locking it up into staking. 💀

What was the money?

Close to 5.5 million SOL, or $122 million at current prices. 😨

This activity made Solana see some greens in their prices that they hadn’t seen in a loooong time. 🤭

NGL, after everything that they’ve been through in the past year, what they’re doing right now is—

This is the weirdest show of all time about crypto, and we’re going to chug that milk before we deliver to you every sus move that happens 🥛

Stay tuned! 💪

📈 Cheese & Charts: ETH vs BTC?

You must’ve seen how some people save so much money while others spend it like anything?

Seems like ETH whales are on a spending spree or maybe a big downfall is coming.

But BTC whales are doing the opposite.

Let’s see the numbers:

ETH Whales 🐳

• Who are they? People who have 1000 ETH or more (around $1.5 million).

• What they doing? They're selling a lot of their ETH.

• How much?

📉 They sold 12M ETH in just one year.

📉 From 2020 till now? They sold 20M ETH!

And BTC Whales 🐋:

• Who are they?: People with 1000 BTC or more (around $26.9 million).

• What they doing? They're keeping their BTC and even buying more.

• The numbers:

📈 Some sold a bit in 2021 (maybe they got worried about FTX). 🤷

📈 But this year? They're buying more! (atleast they’re not selling)

Vitalik must be sad. Oh btw, he’s himself selling. 😈

So, what's happening? Why are ETH people selling and BTC people buying? 🍿

Maybe

What do you think?

(Let us know below! 👇)

🛠 Resourcewala: Wtf is DeFi?

So, you've heard the word 'DeFi' thrown around like anything.

But, confused about what it's all about?

Look, with bank interests lower than your importance in your relationship, DeFi (Decentralized Finance) seems to be that shiny new toy everyone's playing with.

Not just because it's trendy, but because... well, it might just be the FUTURE of finance. 🚀

But, where do you even START? 🤷‍♂️

Introducing: The TOP 5 DeFi resources 📚

1. Wtf is DeFi? 🥳

2. Why DeFi could beat your bank 🏦💥

3. Risks? Rewards? Let's weigh 'em! ⚖️

PLUS: Tutorials to get you STARTED (Because, duh!) 🖥️

READ TIME: Faster than you can binge-watch an entire season of Friends. 🍿

🍼 Doodhshots: Buy A Ferrari With Crypto

• ⚡ Crypto Crackdown?: The usage of crypto in the Hamas-Israel conflict might just push in favor of Elizabeth Warren’s cracking down on crypto bill. Welp.

• 🦊 Metamask Out: Metamask was briefly removed from the App store, sending everyone into panic mode. What one bug does to m’fer.

• 🐎 Ferrari x Crypto: You can now buy a Ferrari using cryptocurrencies in the United States. Hehe, jokes on you Ferrari, my problem is with the affordability.

• 👨 Stable CEO?: Tether just appointed CTO Paolo as the CEO of the company after removing Jean-Louis into an advisory role. Bro appointed himself fo sho.

• 🎫 Tay-Tay Tix: Fans can now buy tickets to Taylor Swift’s concerts using cryptocurrency on AMC and Bitpay. Imma shake this offer away.

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram.

That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.

Today’s edition was brought to you by Ritik Gupta and Sumanth

Edited by: Arvind Krishna and Aakash Athawasya