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  • 🎫 29 validators! TWENTY NINE.

🎫 29 validators! TWENTY NINE.

PLUS: NFTs coming to 👑 Bitcoin 👑

Namaste, this is the doodhwala. The crypto newsletter with ZERO spelling and grammer mistakes.

Seriously, find one and you get free doodh. 🥛

Here’s the menu for today:

  • 🤜 $UNI communivty vs VCs

  • ⛔️ Web3 Marketing Wen?

  • 🍋 Chaacha of Centralization

  • 🍑 Bitcoin NFTs coming fast

  • 😂 Milky Meme Of The Day

Try getting away from us 🦇

🎮 Why does Uniswap's community hate VCs?


The decentralized exchange that’s named after a 🦄 unicorn 🦄, is at the center of a HUGE crypto fight.

It’s the fight that crypto loves to ignore.

Uniswap’s VCs and the community are squaring off for what could the biggest product launch since McDonald’s introduced the McFlurry 🤤

Right now, Uniswap is figuring out 👉 Which cross-chain bridge to use between Ethereum and the BNB chain?

So, naturally they put this up for a vote. 🗳️

But before the actual vote vote, there’s something called a 🌡️ temperature check 🌡️.

It’s kinda like when you had a fever as a kid and your mom checks your temperature by putting her hand on your forehead. 🤒

The bridge options for the Uniswap community are:

  • Celer

  • deBridge

  • LayerZero

  • Wormhole

Honestly, these sound like names of Transformers and not blockchain bridges.

Wait, where did Optimus Prime pull that outta? MY CHILDHOOD IS RUINED 😭

The community overwhelmingly went with Wormhole with 62% of the votes.

But it’s not over yet. 😯

a16z, the largest web3 VC fund, is an investor in LayerZero, and ofc it wants LayerZero to be the chosen bridge. 🤷‍♂️

And a16z has about 15 million UNI tokens, but can’t use it to vote because the tokens are still locked. 💀

Without a16z’s vote:

🥇 Wormhole — 28 million votes or 62%🥈 LayerZero — 17 million votes or 38%

With a16z’s vote:

🥇 LayerZero — 32 million votes or 53%🥈 Wormhole — 28 million votes or 46%

If a16z unlocks their 15 million UNI tokens, they can swing the vote in favor of their portfolio company — LayerZero.

And it’s a big 🏆 prize, Uniswap is the largest DEX with no direct bridging solution.

So, a TON of volume will flow between Ethereum ↔️ BNB chain through 🦄

This is turning out to be like a proper Indian election.

From horse-trading to Unicorn trading 🤣

🎮 Gameswala: Fake Satoshi

Given below is the picture of the dude who claims to have invented Bitcoin. Yes, Bitcoin 🤣

(he even takes people who call him ‘faketoshi’ to courts, the man’s 🥴)

(answer at the 👇 bottom👇 of the email)

⛔️ Web3 Native Marketing is a SCAM?

There are so many different types of marketing strategies that exist currently.

From buying ads on Facebook to a classic Pyramid Scheme that Michael Scott clearly DID NOT fall for. 🤷‍♂️

All these strategies have been pretty effective so far.

And most of these strategies also work with web3 products as well. 🔥

Products like:

  • NFT Marketplaces

  • Decentralized Exchanges

  • Or even, new blockchains!

But with web3, there is one HUGE element that can TURBO charge marketing to a new level. 🚀

And that is…TOKENS! (Fungible and Non-Fungible! 😎)


The whole model of Airdropping tokens allows web3 projects to reward users based on tasks, loyalty and even early adoption.

Now the question is…has it actually worked? 🤨

Well, let’s look at some examples, shall we:

🔴 Optimism

Optimism is an Ethereum Layer-2 blockchain.

It was launched in 2021 to offer speed and scalability to Ethereum. ( and offer cheap gas as well 👏)

Optimism also launched a program called 👉 Optimism Quests.

✅ What is it?

Learn how to use the various Dapps on Optimism in exchange for 👉 an awesome and unique NFT!

Pretty good marketing incentive to onboard and educate users.

✅ Did it work?

EVERY SINGLE DAPP that participated saw close to an average of 120% in growth! 🤯

Even the total number of addresses on Optimism doubled during this period.


So this program clearly did wonders for Optimism’s growth. 👏

Let’s look at another example.

🖼 LooksRare

No, Looks Rare its not how you would describe doodhwala’s sense of humour. (more like Looks ABUNDANT 😎)

LooksRare is an NFT Marketplace where you can buy, sell and trade NFTs.

Given how competitive the NFT marketplace scene is, LooksRare launched a listing incentive program.

List an NFT 👉 Get ADDITIONAL rewards 💰

✅ Did it work?


The volume of listing did increase A LOT during this period but it immediately dropped after the program ended. 😬

So would you call it a success or a failure?

You decide. 🤷‍♂️

Lastly, let’s look at the new showstopper in town…

🟠 Blur

It’s a new NFT marketplace that is designed mainly for NFT degen traders. (so, not us 🤷‍♂️)

Blur also had a listing reward program similar to LooksRare.

✅ Did it work?

Yeah. But just for a few days. 🤦‍♂️

The volume spiked for a few days and dropped to new lows even before the program ended.

Yikes! 😬

And not forget that all these rewards programs created a trend of wash trading where people listed NFTs from one wallet

So clearly, marketing in web3 is a game of Russian Roulette.

But the tools are set.

The potential is IMMENSE! 🔥

All we need is some time and soon enough Michael Scott will NOT be falling for a new web3 Pyramid Scheme. 😉


🍋 Nimbu Paani and Numbers: Centralized BNB?

Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the most centralized of ‘em all?

🪞 B — N — B 🪞

BNB is a Layer-1 blockchain created as a cheap and fast alternative to Ethereum, back when you had to sell your kidney to pay the gas fees on the network. 😅

And it worked!

BNB became the biggest smart contract chain by active users and it still holds that top spot. 🔥

So BNB is:

  • Fast

  • Cheap

  • Scalable

What’s the catch? 🤨

Well…BNB is more centralized than the Central Bank of India. 🤷‍♂️

Compared to Ethereum’s 500k+ validators, BNB just has 29. (no, we are not missing a ‘k’ next to 29 😬)

That’s literally less than the number of people in my contacts. 🤦‍♂️

🛠 Resourcewala: FundRaising 101

Ever wondered what companies do when they ‘raise funds’?

I thought they just take a few hundred rupee notes and raise it up so that someone comes along and matches it. 😭

But seriously, when we talk about fundraising, we got a few questions:

  • Is fundraising FUN?

  • What are some fundraising approaches?

  • Does it matter where you’re raising from?

  • Will I get more money if the doodhwala writes about me?

  • Will VCs stalk us like how our nosy neighbourhood aunties stalk us?

In today’s Doodhwala, we’re arming founders with advice on how to fundraise with this gem from Dove metrics 🕊️

🍼 Crypto doodh shots: Banks are the new Crypto Bros?

  • 🌡️ Ponzi Rising: An Independent investigation finds Celsius Network was fraudulent, using client funds to buy a native token and inflate the price (you don’t say? 😲)

  • 🖼️ Can I Right-Click Save Bitcoin Now: Emergence of a new kind of Bitcoin-based NFTs called Ordinals (hard money 🤝 hard art)

  • 🏦 $HSBC?: HSBC, a leading UK bank, announces plans to venture into the cryptocurrency sector with a PM (product manager not puppy master) role for tokenization

  • 💊 I’m Immortal: VitaDAO raises $4.1 million from Pfizer Ventures for human life extension research (VitaDAO is not a DAO of Vitalik lovers, it stands for vitality lol)

  • 🇹🇷 Crypto Siyaset: Turkey’s political opposition group, the Nation Alliance wants to use blockchain tech in boring govt work

😂 Milky Meme Of The Day


Craig Steven Wright

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That’s all for today bhaiyo aur bheno! Naale Sigona!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.

None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.