🤔 Wall Street Banks Doing Crypto Better Than Crypto Bros?

Gm, this is the doodhwala, the only crypto newsletter that’s UNGOVERNABLE. 😎

Become ungovernable, doodhs. 🥛

Here’s what we have for you today-

• 💸 JP Morgan coin to the mooon: JP Morgan begins transfers on the blockchain in Euros.

• 📊 ETFs are in baby!: Approvals flow in for the first leveraged Bitcoin ETF.

• 📈 Cheese and Charts: Where are all the damn devs at?

• 🛠️ Resourcewala: Dark DAOs & On-chain vote buying.

• 🍼 Doodhshots: Cherishing Chess, Checkmates, and Cashing.

💸 Bank Transfer → JPM Coin Settlement

If the TradFi takeover of crypto wasn’t enough for you,

Then wait till you hear this story. 🤭

Four years after the launch of the JP Morgan coin—

The big daddy of banks has settled payments of over $300 billion.😱

Wtf is that coin anyways? And what’s brewing next? ☕

Time to SETTLE things, right here, right now.👊

1️⃣ WTF is the JPM coin?

The JPM coin is a part of the ONYX coin system launched by JP Morgan in 2019.

This system basically helped with doing instant transfers 24/7 with the help of their native private chain. 🤫⛓️

Don’t get all siked so fast, coz this ain’t for regular cow milk drinking fellers like you and I.💀

This is only meant for Institutional clients—

The imported doodh from cows grass-fed cows from Milan kinda people.🐄

2️⃣ First Euro payment settlement

Speaking of institutional clients, JPM is ready to have a cuppa tea with its Euro clients. 🇪🇺

That’s right!

JPM is now live with its first blockchain settlement in Europe using its own token.🪙

Who was the client? → Siemens AG.

The German Industrial conglomerate that does industrial manufacturing.

Billion Dollar Company 🤝 Trillion Dollar Bank.

☝️This, according to an executive from JP Morgan, is the first Euro-denominated blockchain transaction using the JPM coin.

Wanna check out the transaction? No can do ser.👎

Coz the transaction happened on a permissioned blockchain a.k.a. distributed ledger that isn’t available to the public for access.🤡

Now y’all know why people hate banks SMH.😤

3️⃣ Ain’t that big FYI 💀

Oh hey, guess what—

This prolly ain’t as big of a deal as it is being made of at the moment. 🙅

But it could be.

And that’s what is scaring Crypto Twitter. 🐤

Let’s understand the hype in numbers for a second.

JP Morgan processes $9.8 trillion in daily transactions. 🏦

The total settled value on the JPM coin - to date- from the past 4 years - is $300 billion. 🪙

So, 300 billion is approximately 0.306% of 9.8 trillion.🤡

That means—

The total amount settled so far using the coin is just 0.3% of what JP Morgan Bank does on a daily basis. 😮

But the avenue is still ripe for usage, and the numbers could skyrocket based on adoption. 🔁

🥛 Doodhwala’s take:

Don’t think we will see a lot more adoption of the coin until they start giving a chance for the regular doodh drinkers to do something. 🥛🐄

💰 ETFs are in!

Finally, we have got the first leveraged Bitcoin futures ETF. 🎉

An exchange-traded fund (ETF) that's all about our fav digital asset → Bitcoin. 🟠

So, the first Leveraged Bitcoin Futures ETF called $BITX is ready to launch on the Chicago Board Options (CBOE) BZX Exchange tomorrow. 🔥

But hold up… ETFs sound too Wall Street, right? 🤓

(yeah the place where a 26-year-old can make a f * $46 mil)

Let's break it down, in real talk. 😎

An ETF, or exchange-traded fund, is like a basket full of securities (think stocks, commodities).

You buy shares of an ETF to get a slice of these securities without actually owning them. 🥧

There are two types of Bitcoin ETFs:

• Bitcoin futures

• Bitcoin spot

And BITX? It’s a "Leveraged ETF".

Now what’s that? 🤔

Imagine a fund on steroids. 💪

It uses financial derivatives, in this case, Bitcoin futures, to amplify the returns.

Short-term gains can be huge, but losses can hit just as hard.

Imagine partying all night but also having a killer hangover the next day (and that’s why, we promote doodh more than beer).🥛

And why’s all this dope?

The ETF aims to deliver 2x the return of the Bitcoin Futures Daily Roll Index.

Now, what's this index? 🧐

It's like a measure of the daily performance of Bitcoin futures contracts.

Imagine it as the race leaderboard but for Bitcoin futures contracts. 🏁

Sounds cool, right? But there's a plot twist. 😅

Crypto advocates are mostly throwing a party about this news, but of course, there are those party poopers.

Some crypto gurus are wondering why a "2x leveraged futures product" gets the green light before a simple spot ETF.

And then there's $BITO, the U.S.’s first Bitcoin futures ETF.

It's been underperforming BTC to date. 😮

And guess what? BlackRock threw its hat into the Bitcoin ETF ring earlier this week!

So, is it too soon to call it the SEC-crypto love story?

Well, one can only hope, but this news is definitely a ray of hope for investors. ☀️

So here’s to BITX! 🍾

📈 Cheese and Charts: Where the Devs at?

Developers. Everyone’s a frikkin’ developer today!

And yet the only thing we can try and develop is a sense of humor. 🥴

Developers are the building blocks of every project. (Pun intended)

In a recent analysis tho, we saw that developers are moving to L2 projects >> L1 projects.

What are L2 projects? 🤔

Projects like Arbitrum and Polygon are referred to as Layer 2 projects.

They’re built on an existing chain to help solve the blockchain trilemma. ♻️

Sooooo, what does the data say?

👉 The top projects are Polygon, Optimism, Arbitrum, and Starknet. 🙅

👉 Together, they comprise over 125+ core developers. 🧑‍💻

👉 Since Jan ‘23, the majority of devs work on Polygon and Optimism, making nearly 100 devs. 😮

To be fair, the data only counts people who have made at least 1 or more commits on a project’s public Github.

Basically, it doesn’t consider things done in private.🤫

What do you think the devs are going to be moving to by the end of the year?

Hit reply and let us know your thoughts! 👇\

🛠 Resourcewala: Dark DAOs and On-Chain Vote Buying 🌚

Who needs HBO when crypto has all the drama? Thrones, power, money, dark alleys, secret societies...and it's all happening on-chain! 😲

Welcome to the shady world of Dark DAOs, where vote buying isn't a scandal...it's the game! 🎲💰

In today's digital universe, every byte's got a price. But the question is - should it be like this? 🤔

Here's what our latest resource shines a light on:

• What is On-Chain Vote Buying?

• Why is it a big fat deal?

• The rise of the "Dark DAOs"

🍼 Doodhshots: Checkmate Cash

• 🔮 Name Game: Optimism, the Ethereum scaling solution, rebrands itself as OP Mainnet, reflecting its 'superchain' ambitions. Are you feeling optimistic yet?

• 🇧🇪 Belgian Block: Belgium's financial watchdog gives Binance the cold shoulder, ordering it to halt all virtual currency services. Binance, please don't go?

• 🎨 Azuki's Grand Reveal: Azuki drops a bomb at the Las Vegas event, announcing their new Elementals Collection. Vegas never looked so vibrant!

• 🕹️ Web3 Warnings: VaynerSports Gaming VP warns content creators against overdoing the Web3 twist. Simplify, guys, simplify!

• ♟️ Chess Champ: Animoca Brands' Anichess checkmates funding rounds, securing a sweet $1.5M for its decentralized chess game. Checkmate, rivals!

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

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That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.

Today’s edition was brought to you by Ritik Gupta and Sumanth

Edited by: Arvind Krishna and Aakash Athawasya