🕹️ Grand Theft Crypto

Gm, this is doodhwala, the crypto newsletter that feels like a Christopher Nolan movie. We don’t understand it but we pretend we do. 🤷‍♂️

We’ll help you pretend you’re crypto-smart. 😉

Here’s what we got for you today—

• 🕹️ Grand Theft Crypto: GTA Is Rooting Into Web3 Now?

• 😵‍💫 CeFi > DeFi: CZ Has Some Wild Predictions For The Next Bull Run

• 📈 Cheese and Charts: Mysterious ETH Hodlers

• 🛠️ Resourcewala: Social Scalability In Blockchains

• 🍼 Doodhshots: Drake’s Shady Crypto Casino

👀 GTA In Web3?

Ever thought about rolling into the virtual streets of Los Santos (a city in GTA 5), pulling up at a crypto ATM, and cashing out your game earnings?

Well, it might just happen soon! 🔥

You must’ve played Grand Theft Auto (GTA) once in your lifetime.

Yeah I’m talking about this. 👇

And if not, you missed out a lot, bro. I really feel bad for ya.

The team behind GTA - Rockstar Games - also made other cool games like Red Dead Redemption and NBA 2K.

And guess what? The parent company of Rockstar Games → Take-Two Interactive is now entering into the Web3.

Not directly, but through its owned mobile gaming giant which made FarmVille.

Yeah, the one where we all had farms and were obsessed with our crops. 🌾

If you haven’t guessed it already, it’s → Zynga.

So here’s what Zynga’s doing: 🌍

• They're launching a new game realm called Sugartown

  (Before you start overthinking, no it’s not a game to find your sugar daddies and sugar mommies).

• It isn't just a singular game in itself.

• It's more like a vast online playground curated with different games.

But here’s the catch: 🎣

And this is a good catch, unlike my ex.

• They’re bringing in something called NFTs named Oras.

• And to play any of the games, you’ll need these NFTs.

This is a big deal!

Because if this works, maybe other big games will start doing the same.

Maybe we’ll roll out a game. How’s Duty of Doodh?🥛

Now let’s travel back in time a bit: 🕰

A while ago, there was some talk about the next GTA game, GTA 6.

People said it might have something cool → a way to earn crypto while playing!

What was it about? 🧐

• The new GTA 6 might use blockchain.

• Players might be able to use and earn Bitcoin in the game.

• Remember in GTA 5, how players could buy and sell stocks? Well, in GTA 6, players might be able to earn and spend crypto.

Rockstar Games, the company behind GTA, hinted that they might be working on this.

So let’s hope → it has crypto in it.

I mean I could really use my shitcoins in a strip night club.

Doodhwala’s Take:

Imagine playing GTA, earning Bitcoin, and then using it to buy stuff in the game.

And maybe convert that stuff into an NFT.

How awesome would that be?

Well, for now, you’ll have to settle with Sugartown (and doodh obviously).🥛

😵‍💫 CZ Likes DeFi Now?

A bull run. Something we all need very soon, but have no clue when it'll actually start. 🥹

There's multiple reasons that have been put out there for a bull run—

• Bitcoin ETF Approvals

• Bitcoin's Halving in 2024

• Doodhwala Releasing the $DOODH token

But have you ever thought about saying,what could happen after a bull run? 🤔

Well Binance boi CZ believes it could be the point of DeFi taking over CeFi. 🤯

What are you doing CZ? Shutting down your own business? 💀

☝️ DeFi > CeFi

Here's how it started—

CZ announced an A.M.A. Twitter Space (X Space literally sounds terrible NGL) last week.

My man dropped a statement there saying “I think the more decentralized the industry becomes, the better.” 💪

Not just that, he stated—

“The next bull run may very well make DeFi bigger than CeFi.”

Here's the problem tho.

CZ owns the biggest Centralized Exchange out there that is doing record volumes. 📈

(And some illegal volume from China too 🤭)

So coming out with a statement that will affect your business…kinda stupid.

Or Sus. 🧐

✌️ Can DeFi actually beat CeFi tho?

Let's just go by what our man just said—

Even tho at this point, he clearly is out there to FUD himself.

Bro has said ‘4’ so many times on Twitter, that he's now confused about who's FUDing who. 🤣

Let's have a comparison of CEX Volumes in Comparison to DEX volumes.

On average, the daily volume of exchanges is wayyy different—

• All of DeFi = Close to $750 million USD of volume on an average 24-hour basis

• Binance Spot Market Volume Last Night = Close to $5 Billion USD. 💀

It’s almost like comparing oat milk and Raw Cow milk. 🥛

Like really? Is it so tough to guess who’s winning? 🤷‍♂️

Maybe this was a joke that’ll continue for a while?

Coz ain’t no way CZ is saying that DeFi will surpass billions of dollars in volume and shut down his own business. 🙅‍♂️

Do you think he’s gonna be okay with that? 😏

Doodhwala’s Take: No man can walk out of his own story, or his Centralized Crypto exchange.- Sun Tzu, Art of War

📈 Cheese and Charts: Who Dafaq is HODLing?

We found some mysterious ETH HODLers out there! 🧐

These sneaky folk have been HODLing ETH for a long time now.

It’s like those people who you think are Beta packaged doodh consumers—

But they end up becoming the pure raw cow milk chuggers. 😮

If you’re thinking “What dis bro spoutin?” —

Allow us to explain. 🥸

We get a clear picture of these mysterious ETH HODLers once we compare ✌️ metrics—

• Weekly Active Wallets

• Cumulative Wallets with Non-Zero Balance (a.k.a - I ain’t broke LMAO Wallets)

And what has been the trend with these 2 metrics?

👉 Over the last 2.5 years, the weekly activity in wallets was flat, averaging close to 2 million wallets.

👉 While this was happening, the “I ain’t broke LMAO” wallets doubled, increasing the total wallets from 60 million → 100 million.

What does that mean tho? 🤔

This means that there are more wallets holding Ether in the wallets—

Than actually using it for transactions and activity on-chain. 😮

What do you think? Is this a good sign for Ethereum?

Hit reply and let us know what you think! 👇

🛠 Resourcewala: Money, Chains, and The Social Game

Ever thought why Monopoly money ain't as legit as, say, Bitcoin? 💸

It's because of social scalability in blockchains.

But why's it such a big thing?

Today we study:

1. The thing behind money and its value 💰

2. Blockchains 🤓

3. Social scalability 🌐

And most importantly, how can YOU be a part of it? 😎

READ TIME: Quicker than trying to explain why Dogecoin is a thing.

LFG!🔥🔥🔥

🍼 Doodhshots: Turkey’s Playing Good

• 🎵 Drake's Dicey Deal: Drake-backed Crypto Casino Stake sees a shady slide of $40M. Started from the top, now we're...?

• 🌍 Turkish Delight: Report says half of Turkey's population owns some crypto. Who needs Lira when you've got Litecoin?

• 🚪Bye-Bye Binance: Binance's global head of product, Mayur Kamat, resigned yesterday. Bailing out or just a break, Mayur?

• 📈 Grayscale's Greenlight: JPMorgan hints that Grayscale's win against the SEC might just pave the way for a Bitcoin ETF touchdown. Bull run, anyone?

• 🇰🇷 Kore-ruption: South Korea strategizes to freeze North's crypto stash with a fresh bill. Cold War, crypto-style?

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

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That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.

Today’s edition was brought to you by Ritik Gupta and Sumanth

Edited by: Arvind Krishna and Aakash Athawasya