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Take it, it’s yours 🥲

Our menu today is 100% charged, let's see what we've got:

• Some FTX hopium for you!

• Sony makin’ smooth moves into Web3

• Crypto doodhshots: Terra's co-founder raided

• Milky Meme of the Day: Chetan Bhagat edition

Some FTX hopium for you!

Remember that friend from college?

He goes after everyone on their birthdays for a massive party. And when his birthday comes around, all you’ll get is half a Pav Bhaji from Shanti Sagar. 🤡

That’s what’s happening to FTX’s balance sheet right now.

Actually. Scratch that.

That’s what’s happening to FTX’s balance sheet right now.

What’s happening is — that dude is making up treats at fancy places — like McDonald's, Goli Vada Pav, and Meghana Biryani. He’s straight up lying.

AND now he’s asking YOU to pay up. WTF!!! 🤬🤬🤬

😈 The bad news: FTX’s balance sheet (much like their CEO’s hair) is a shit show.

👼 The good news: FTX users will bet some of their funds back.

Let’s take a look.

Liabilities or the amount of money FTX owes.

In total, FTX’s liabilities are $8.8 billion (Rs 71,000 crore). That’s more than the market cap of 🏍 Hero Motors, ✈️ IndiGo Airlines, and 🏥 Apollo Hospitals.

The funniest part is, FTX owes $215 million to BlockFi, a company that is also bankrupt, and a company that FTX wanted to buy for $240 million. Honestly what the heck is going on?!?

This is prolly how Sam pitched the BlockFi purchase to the board.

Assets or the amount of money FTX is owed.

In total, FTX’s assets are $9.4 billion (Rs 76,000 crore). That’s not bad!

So, there ain’t no hole?! Actually, there is a HOLE, A BIG BIG HOLE.

FTX’s assets are divided into:

• Liquid assets of $900 million “yeah, we’ll get this back” 😮‍💨

• Not so-liquid assets of $5.5 billion “uhhh, please can we get this back?!” 🥺

• Dry AF assets of $3.2 billion “no way we’re getting this back lmao” 🤣

The single BIGGEST asset is SRM (the native token of Serum exchange) which is worth ~$2.1 billion (Rs 16,000 crore) on FTX’s book.

Get this tho — SRM has a public market cap of $73 million. The rest of the dough is locked up with FTX, about 80% of it.

FTX could dump SRM to increase its liabilities. But who the heck will buy this bag of 💩?!?

So, can users get their money back?

A friend of the doodhwala, Kunal Goel, thinks so.

The man works at Messari, a research company whose subscription we can’t afford (luckily subbing to the doodhwala is hidden)!

He thinks users can get back 40-50% of their funds on FTX based.

This is “if” FTX manages to sell a bunch of assets that are not easy to sell!

Doodhwala’s take: The hole in FTX’s books is not only deeper (don’t make the joke!) but no one is willing to fill it (okay make the joke).

But this is much-needed hopium for FTX users. 🤞

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Sony makin’ smooth moves into Web3

Sony, the company brought us:

• Walkman (the original iPod)

• SonyLiv (the crappiest streaming platform)

• HUGE speakers (the mark of high society in every middle-class family)

You know…these speakers:

Sony is now going BIG on NFTs, especially in its gaming division.

And you know what makes the Sony gaming division right? 😏

PLAYSTATION!

Yup, the best gaming consoles out there and YES, we just ended the whole Xbox vs Playstation debate. 😎

Sony’s PlayStation filed a patent about its intentions of dipping into the NFT space.

I mean…the patent is called “Tracking Unique In-Game Digital Assets Using Tokens on a Distributed Ledger.”

So, they couldn’t have been more obvious.

Apart from this patent, PlayStation has been makin’ moves smoother than this dude:

They are working with Theta Labs to “launch 3D NFTs compatible with spatial reality displays.”

Basically, they want you to not only see the front side of your fav Bored Ape but also the backside and all the other sides. 😂

While PlayStation is doing all this to advance into web3, their fiercest competitor Microsoft’s Xbox has been advising people to “advance with caution” when it comes to crypto gaming. 🤦‍♂️

Yet another reason why PlayStation is the best. 🤷‍♂️

Given how the investment in web3 gaming is increasing every year, it is for sho a smart move to capitalise on this momentum.

PlayStation realizes this more than its competitors.

So what can PlayStation do with their move into NFTs?

Here’s what the doodhwala team has to say:

Crypto doodhshots: Terra Luna's co-founder raided

🧂 Crypto Lender SALT Halts Withdrawals After FTX Collapse After BlockFi, Celsius, Tushaar Kapoor, and Vauld another well-to-do entity is going down

🌖 After FTX Collapse, Ledger, Trezor Sales Moon Everyone wants to buy hard wallets and use DEXes because there’s no such thing as a safe CEX

☕️ South Korean police raid Terra Luna co-founder’s side hustle Daniel Shin’s Chai Corp (not Chai tea) raided because Chai allegedly used personal info to launch Terra payment services

🍎 USDC issuer Circle adds Apple Pay support The second largest stablecoin is coming to the largest company in the world’s payment service with multichain support

🦹🏽‍♂️ Yuga Labs acquires Beeple’s 10KTF game, hints at metaverse integration The company behind BAYC acquires an NFTGame which allows users to dress up heroes and complete quests

Milky Meme of the Day

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter (@DoodhwalaDaily)

That’s all for today bhaiyo aur bheno! Naale Sigona!

Aakash "Dahi Cheeni" Athawasya & Arvind "Doodh Peda" Krishna

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.

None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.