⚖️ Silk Road 2.0 meets GTA

Namaskara, this is the doodhwala. The crypto newsletter that’s the opposite of “Sharma ji ki beta”. 😎

Oh yeah. We’re edgy, SUPER cringe and always rebelling. (Sorry dad!)

Here’s your daily dose of chaos🤘:

• 🏪 Silk Road meets GTA

• 🚀 DEVS are taking over!

• 🥃 Vauld and Insider Trades

• 😂 Milky Meme Of The Day

Let's bring the BDE — BiG DooD EnerGY!

🏪 Silk Road meets GTA

Bitzlato.

Sounds like an exchange you’ve never heard of. But it’s the first crypto exchange to go down in 2023.

But, it’s not going down like FTX.

It’s going down like the Silk Road, an infamous dark web marketplace that made crypto famous.

Bitzlato looks like your everyday exchange.

It offers:

• P2P trading

• Wallet services

• Payment services

• Supports 10 cryptos

• Is available in 69 countries (you already know we a FAN!)

It’s even got those weird ballon-shaped cartoons that are literally ON EVERYONE’S WEBSITE:

Seriously? Who tf is making all of these👇?

But unlike everyday exchanges, Bitzlato doesn’t serve your average everyday degen trader sitting in his childhood bedroom trading $SHIB with 100x leverage while sipping on his 5th MONSTER energy drink and eating a bag of Cheetos. 🤣

Nope, they’re serving these kinda guys:

Yup, criminals like:

💊 drug dealers 🪪 financial crooks 🧼 money launderers🥛 spoiled doodh peddlers (it’s a serious crime OKAY?!)

...are using Bitzlato.

They processed nearly $700 million in crypto trades with Hydra Market.

Hydra Market = Aquaman’s favourite supermarket ❌

Hydra Market = World’s largest darknet marketplace for things like guns, drugs, stolen credit cards, and other weird stuff. ✅

But if you thought the exchange was shady, wait till you hear about the founder.

The founder — Anatoly Legkodymov is a Russian, living in China, and working out of Miami, Florida. His website was shut down by French authorities, and he’s convicted by a US court.

Can you get any more GTA than that? 🤣🤣🤣

This reminds us about — The Silk Road, the dark web marketplace which operated from 2011-2013.

All of The Silk Road’s transactions were in BTC. 🙋‍♂️

It’s quite similar in the shady stuff traded, but Bitzlato was 🤏 compared to Silk Road.

Silk Road, during its 2 year period, had:

→ 1.2 million transactions → 9.5 million BTC in revenue ($200 billion) more than Microsoft’s annual revenue in 2021→ 614k in commissions ($12.7 billion)→ 150k buyers→ 4k sellers→ 10 countries

It’s honestly a WILD story, there’s even a book about it.

But here’s the kicker — Biltzalto’s founder Anatoly is getting just 5 years in prison (if convicted) while the creator of the Silk Road — Ross Ulbricht — got:

40 YEARS + 2 LIFE IMPRISONMENTS!!!

We can’t even count that high. 😭

Doodhwala’s take:

See man, we really don’t care what you use crypto for.

From sending BTC to your Nani 😇 to mixing Doodh with your Paani. 😡

Loads of bad things are happening with “money” all forms of “money” and if crypto is meant to be money, we gonna have some real bad people using it. 🤷‍♂️

But is that worth sending someone to jail, especially for 40+ years?!

Let us know by REPLYING to this email.

🎮 Gameswala: Our jokes may be chronic, but the DOODH is ICONIC

Here's a screenshot from a FAMOUS movie.

Notice an ICONIC glass of DOODH in it 🥛

Guess the name of the movie!(answer at the bottom of the email 👇 )

🔥 Follow the DEVS, anon!

We, at the doodhwala, follow one belief VERY VERY religiously.

And that is…

Lactose Intolerance Is A Scam!!

FOLLOW THE DEVS! 🛠

If you ask us why then…we’ll let Maria Shen, the author of a 186-page developer report from Electric Capital, tell you:

Yup!

You follow the devs → you follow the innovation. 🔥

So when Electric Capital put out that giant report on the state of devs in crypto, we pulled the nearest chair, boiled some taaza doodh and got reading! 🤓

👇 Here’s the quick TLDR:

(enough to make you feel that you ACTUALLY read it 😉)

🚀 Devs keep DEVVING!

Quick numbers to make you go 🤯🤯🤯:

🔥 61k devs→ contributed to open-source code for the VERY first time in 2022!🔥 100k devs→ have contributed code to crypto since 2021🔥 23.3k devs→ current monthly ACTIVE devs!

When compared to the 2018 bear market, Bitcoin has 3x the number of developers contributing to the network!

Ethereum has 5Xed that number during the SAME DAMN TIME! 🚀

Clearly, the devs didn't get the message that we are in a frickin’ bear market and it’s best we keep it that way! 🤫

⛓ Ethereum is the 👑

When it comes to developer ecosystems in crypto, there is NONE bigger than Ethereum! 🚀

With over 5k monthly active devs, the Ethereum ecosystem is on FIRE! 🔥

To put this into context, this is more than ecosystems like:

• Solana

• Polygon

• Polkadot

They all have just over 1k TOTAL devs. Yes. TOTAL. Not monthly. 😅

Sure, Ethereum has been around for much longer than all of them but you gotta admit…

…Vitalik bhai got that BIG DEV ENERGY! 😉

📈 DeFi devs are FINE!

Remember the iconic DeFi Summer of 2020?

Walking around barefoot, bare-chested and borrowing and lending tokens like there’s no tomorrow? (ahhh, the good ol’ days! 🤤)

Well, during that time…there were just over 1k monthly active devs building on DeFi.

But in Crypto Winter of 2022, that number reached 2.7k devs! 🚀

That's a 240% increase! 🤯

And these devs are not just building DeFi on Ethereum.

Close to 50% of the DeFi devs are building on other L1s and L2s like:

1️⃣ Cosmos2️⃣ BNB Chain3️⃣ Solana

DeFi and NFTs are by far the biggest use case in crypto, in terms of gas usage. 📈

So DeFi Summer 2023 gonna be full doodh or full paani? 🤨

🔥 NFT devs are on FIRE!

The number of devs working on open-source NFT projects is increasing faster than…

In Jan 2021, there were just around 200 active devs working on NFT projects.

Fast forward to Dec 2022, and that number has reached close to 1k! 👏

A straight 300% growth! Prettay, prettay, prettay good! 😎

This number might not actually give the full story because most NFT projects have closed source code.

So, if anything, the number of active devs working on NFT projects can be much more than this! 🤷‍♂️

Overall, one thing is certain…there are A LOT more people building on crypto than ever before. 🔥

Be it in DeFi, NFTs, or chain ecosystems.

And this brings tears of joy to the eyes of your friendly neighbourhood doodhwala.🥲

We ALL might MAKE it after all! 😭😭😭

🎙️ Crypto’s BEST and WORST 2023 trends

Crypto in 2022 was great *cough cough* So how will this year fare?

Tbh we don't know either. But we know 2 people who do:

Raghu (Chad Web3 Buidler) + Prashant (Big Brain VC) go into the biggest and baddest trends in 2023. 😲

Including:

• why web3 gaming is dishonest

• how regulations will impact DeFi

• the FED's effect on crypto prices

• why boiling milk is harder than it looks

(hint: 1 of these is not like the others 👀)

Check out episode #2 of the Web3 Normies podcast here.

🛠 Resourcewala: How To Be A Part Of A DAO

DAOs.

Their like the apartment What’s App group.

Except:

It’s not on What App and there’s no aunty messaging “please stop playing loud music after 10pm, some of us have to sleep!” ❌

A DAO is a community of people with a shared goal who are tryna achieve it through a token-based incentive.

But how do you say “I wanna be part of a DAO”

Here’s how you can start 👇

🥃 Crypto Doodh Shots: Vauld and Insider Trades

🧢 Jail or Job? The rapper who’s facing 25 to life for stealing $8 billion in crypto just landed a growth marketing job, but its ANON.

🇯🇵 Sayonara Japan: American crypto exchange Coinbase pulls out of Japan. This follows Kraken and FTX’s (lol) exit from the country.

💰 Metaverse RAISE: Metahood, a platform that makes Metaverse buying easier, raises $3 million in seed funding.

⏳ 2 More Months: Vauld, the Indian crypto lender, has been given an extension for its moratorium till February 28.

👀 Insider trading? Someone just made a cool $55k by front-running an RPL trade right before it was listed on Binance.

😂 Milky Meme Of The Day

💰Answer💰

Let us know what you think 👇

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter (@DoodhwalaDaily)

That’s all for today bhaiyo aur bheno! Naale Sigona!

Aakash "Dahi Cheeni" Athawasya & Arvind "Doodh Peda" Krishna

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.

None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.