🤯 ETH Whales are buying SHIB

Namaste, this is the doodhwala. The crypto newsletter that makes you scan Michael Scott’s crotch at web3 events. 😎

Think we are jokin’? Then check out the Milky meme. 👇

We don’t joke when it comes to crotches and Michael Scott. 🤨

Here’s what we got for you today:

• 2️⃣ ways to understand Genesis

• 😭 Ethereum whales make a BIG BET

• 🛠 Become the Elon of Economics

• 🤙 Crypto Ransoms ain’t no THANG

• 😂 Milky Michael Scott Meme Of The Day

Monday mornings got us like 👇

2️⃣ ways to understand Genesis 

Genesis.

You know a company is a big deal when it’s name is just one word.

Like Apple. Reliance. Doodhwala.

Yeah, Genesis is like ☝️ these top dogs. 🐶

Besides having an important-sounding name, tf does Genesis do?

Genesis is kinda like Celsius, BlockFi, and Vauld. But they’re WAAAAY bigger. Think of Celsius as the Pakistan Super League and Genesis as the IPL. Big difference!

BTW: We’ve written on the cracks in Genesis here, here, and way back in August 2022 here.

But like other lending companies in this market, Genesis is broke AF. That’s why it filed for bankruptcy.

But what does this mean?How’d this happen?Why am I asking these questions to a doodhwala?

Alright alright, We’ll give you 2 TLDRs on this.

1️⃣ What happened in words?

Genesis Global, and its 2 other subsidiaries, said they can’t pay back BILLIONs to dudes they borrowed money from. 🤷‍♂️

Now, they wanna sell what they own to pay back these ☝️ loans.

Genesis operated a simple model → They take from one and give to the other.

Kinda like drug dealers lol 🤣

They started out as a Bitcoin over-the-counter (OTC) trading desk in 2013 allowing people to buy and sell large quantities of BTC (for me large quantities of Bitcoin is 0.0001 BTC 😭)

Then they moved to lending money (as well as custody and spot + derivatives trading). The only catch was most of the money they loaned out, was not owned by them.

Hmmm, who else works like this?

They’re model works just fine when the markets are going up (and we can afford to pay rent and buy food), but when the market is down:

💣 Institutional investors get REKT💣 Institutional investors don’t pay back LOANS💣 Retail investors get SCREWED🥛 Doodhwala WRITES about them

2️⃣ What happened in numbers?

Here are 5 numbers to show you how deep in 💩 Genesis is in right now:

$3.5 billion — is the amount of money Genesis owes its top-50 unsecured creditors.

The total amount Genesis owes is not clear, they’re saying it’s between $1 to $10 billion.

Like wtf? That’s like when my mom asks me how much I got in my Maths exam and I say, between 0-100. 🤣

300k — the number of Gemini Earn customers who are left in the dark because of the Genesis bankruptcy.

Gemini loaned out the money of Earn customers to Genesis to earn ~7% yield. That’s about $800 million 🤯!!

This triggered a BIG BOSS style drama between Genesis and Gemini on Twitter.

And it’s honestly priceless that two billion-dollar companies screwed over thousands of investors of magic 🐶 internet 🐶 money and they’re fighting out it on a bird 🐦 APP and now a weird milk-based 🥛 newsletter is writing about it!

What kinda world do we live in?!?! 😭

1 — Media company that’s this 🤏 close to being sold off to help Genesis.

The media company? Coindesk.The seller? Digital Currency Group (DCG).

DCG owns both Genesis + Coindesk, as well as a buncha companies in crypto. But this sale is not about the money that could be used by Genesis.

It’s more about removing the media company from under the DCG + Genesis umbrella. 😲

Transparency in media ✊

$1.62 billion — the amount Genesis will get from the Digital Currency Group.

But get this:

• $0.52 billion is due in May 2023 — 4 months away

• $1.1 billion is due in June 2032 — 112 months away

That’s like when I got to my local bar and tell him, “I’ll pay tomorrow” and pay him only after a decade. 🤣

(doodh bar ofc 🙋‍♂️)

$1.2 billion — in claims that Genesis filed against...3 Arrows Capital.

Yup, Genesis went after the only Hedge Fund that can make Lehman Brothers look bad — 3AC.

Back in June 2022, when 3AC filled went 💣, Genesis had issued $2.3 billion to the hedge fund, which was ~45% of its loan book at the time. 🤡

Doodhwala's take:

Genesis going down is bad really bad for crypto. They're owned by probably the single BIGGEST company in this industry. And they have ties everywhere.

But Genesis (by all accounts) is the final domino to go down 🤞 and I'm not talking about the pizza place. So, the only way to go from here is ☝️

"Alexa, play All The Way Up"

🎮 Gameswala: Non-Fungible Doodh

The art below belongs to a pretty POPULAR NFT collection.

One of the earliest NFT projects to be created. You will definitely know this one. 😉

The current floor price for this collection is 66.69 ETH. 💰

Guess the NFT collection!(answer is at the end of the email 👇)

😭 $420 million of SHIB is not a JOKE!

The whales have been busy lately.

Not the real ocean ones (they are unfortunately busy getting extinct 🥲)

We’re talkin about ETH Whales.

Why, you ask?

Cuz they have been meme-ing A LOT! Even more than us! (and we LITERALLY meme like 24/7 😅)

ETH whales are buying up a lot of meme coins lately.

One meme coin that these whales have been thirsting for in the past week is India’s favourite crypto — SHIB. 🤷‍♂️

Yup.

Just in the last week, Ethereum whales have accumulated a total of $422,000,000 of $SHIB. 🤯

Why are they doing this? 🤷‍♂️

The irrational reason 👉 To show off

Just like Cristiano Ronaldo with his football skills or like Sallu Bhai showing off his musclewala body in EVERY frickin’ movie. 🤦‍♂️

ETH Whales just want to show off that they have more money to throw into meme coins than we do.

The rational reason 👉 Shibarium

No, it’s not a new element on the periodic table. (or is it? we’re really bad with chemistry)

It is the new L2 chain being developed by the creators of the SHIB tokens. 😅

According to ShibaSwap:

Wtf does that even mean??? 😭

First came DOGE with Dogechain and now, SHIB with Shibarium is set to take over.

It’s truly a dog-eat-dog world. 🥲

From meme coins → meme chains. (we deserve to be in this bear market I guess 😭)

Do ETH Whales believe in this new Ethereum L2 chain and hence they are buying into it’s native token cuz its cheap?

Nope. 👎

First of all, SHIB is NOT the native token. ⛔️

A new token called → $BONE will be the native token for gas transactions and stuff.

Second, they aren’t buying SHIB because they “believe” in it. 😂

They are just buying it to play pump n dump with our hearts in anticipation of the launch. 📉

Doodhwala’s take:

ETH whales will prolly dump this token when the price shoots during the launch of this chain.

As they say “Buy the rumor, sell the news.” 😭

So, kids, it may not always be good to do things just because the whales are doing it.

Cuz the whales be thinkin’ about dogs sometimes. 🙃

🥛 Into the Doodhverse!

This is your guide to what’s happening in the SUPER boring world of doodhwala this week! 🥱

🏆 New fest, who dis?

Check out PLINTH (no that’s not a weird new shitcoin), it’s India’s first web3 college TECH fest by LNMIT.

Too bad they only take hardcore devs and future web3 founders and not unfunny newsletter writers, or else we’d be winning it for sure.

Oh btw…your friendly neighbourhood doodhwala is the Outreach Partner! 😎

👉 Check it out!

🎙️ New podcast, who dis?

The Web3 Normies podcast is talking to not 1 but 2 special guests. Can you guess who our Big BRAIN VC and GIGA Chad Builder are talking to?

(hint: one of them worked with Travis Kalanick, and the other has a better hairstyle than Aquaman)

👉 Here’s a teaser.

🚀 New accelerator, who dis?

Our partners at GravityX Capital are wrapping up applications to their accelerator Graviton!

Last date to apply is 25 January.

👉 Apply here.

📈 Chaach and Charts: Ransomware ain’t no THANG

Ransomware.

Nope, it’s not what Do Kwon pulled after LUNA went down the 🚽.

That’s not ransomware, that dude literally ran somewhere with my money. 😭

Ransomware ransoms (lol) are usually paid in crypto, but they went down massively in 2022:

🗓️ 2020: $765 million🗓️ 2021: $766 million 🔺0.13%🗓️ 2022: $457 million 🔻 40%

Chegg it 👇

🛠 Resourcewala: Become the Elon of Economics  

How do you think the current crypto market is doing?

To answer that you need to understand how the current economy is doing. 🤷‍♂️

And to understand the economy…well, you need to know a lil bit of economics. 😅

But don't worry!

We don’t understand it either (we just pretend to know things 😉)

So we find this amazing resource to get up to speed on EVERYTHING economics!

All our crazy, stupid questions about the current state of the economy were answered!

• What Would Happen if China's Economy Collapses?

• Is There a Better Economic System than Capitalism?

• Was Dropping The Gold Standard A Mistake?

Yup!

We have truly become BIG BRAIN! 🧠

Now, you can too. 🚀

😂 Milky Michael Scott Meme Of The Day

💰Answer💰

Let us know what you think 👇

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter (@DoodhwalaDaily)

That’s all for today bhaiyo aur bheno! Naale Sigona!

Aakash "Dahi Cheeni" Athawasya & Arvind "Doodh Peda" Krishna

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.

None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.