⛔️ Doodhwala Is Not Just Newsletters

Gm, this is the doodhwala, the crypto newsletter that’ll make you stick to your new year’s resolution.

Let’s get that goal in 2023 fam 💪

(BIG ANNOUNCEMENT ALERT!!)

Here’s what we got for you today:

• Big BREAKING: Doodhwala Is Not Just Newsletters

• Biggest showdown in crypto

• Are you Optimistic about NFTs?

• Crypto Doodhshots: FTX’s shares seized!

• Milky Meme Of The Day

🚨 Big Breaking: We're DITCHING newsletters

Today’s the day! We told you we were launching something 🔥

Here it is:

WE’RE LAUNCHING AN ACTUAL MILK DELIVERY COMPANY!

Yeah, screw newsletters. Let’s get the actual doodh.👇

Lol, we’re kidding.

We can’t even boil milk, delivering milk is a long shot! 😭

What we can do is bring you the best crypto content.

Not just to your 💌 but also to your 🎧

SO 👉 We’re launching a podcast!!

But it’s not us [Aakash and Arvind] who’re starring in it, we’re just doodhwalas. 🤷‍♂️

We’re calling the Web3 Normies to host it.

Normie #1

Raghu “CHAD 🛠 BUIDLER” Mohan. Who tf is Raghu?

• co-founder of BuidlersTribe, a Web3 incubator

• can sing Carnatic music to you

Normie #2

Prashanth “BIG 🧠 VC” Swaminathan. Who tf is Prash?

• partner at WoodStock Fund, a web3 VC firm

• can bore you to death about Arsenal

PRESENTING THE 🎙 WEB3 NORMIES PODCAST 🎙

Raghu brings the bottom-up trends of web3 founders, and Prashanth brings the top-down thesis of an investor.

Together the normies will bring you 🔥 episodes on:

• what are builders buidling?

• where are investors investing?

• where are memers meme-ing? (wait, that’s us!)

PLUS: They’ll be talking to the WHO’S WHO in the Indian + Global crypto scene.

NEW. EPISODES. EVERY WEEK.

The first episode, “The Genesis Block” is OUT NOW. Check it 👇

  Let us know what you’d like the Web3 Normies to talk about (REPLY to this email 💌)  

🥊 Biggest SHOWDOWN in crypto: Lies, Fraud, and Twins

A crypto billionaire accused another crypto billionaire of massive fraud, using words like:

Kamikaze. Crazy town. Radioactive trade.

🙏 Welcome to the crypto market of 2023. 🙏

One-half of the Winklevoss twins (I can never tell them apart, and at this point, I’m too afraid to ask) wrote a 1,800-word letter to the Digital Currency Group (DCG).

Tf is the DCG?

• the parent company of Genesis

• the owner of Coindesk

• perhaps the most important company in crypto

They lend money to pretty much every big crypto hedge fund, trader, and exchange you can think of.

And Winklevoss just accused them of public lies and accounting fraud. Damn, could 2023 be off to a worse start?

What happened?

Genesis loaned $1.2 billion to 3 Arrows Capital (yeah the same hedge fund that went belly up).

And went 3 Arrows blew up like Diwali crackers, Genesis had a hole of $1.2 billion.

Idk about you, but that’s quite a big hole.

The thing is Winklevoss’ exchange Gemini had a yield program Gemini Earn, which generated the yield through Genesis.

Here’s how it worked:

When 3 Arrows went 💣 so did Genesis’ $1.2 billion loan.

Who’s responsible?

When 3 Arrows went up, so did Genesis’ $1.2 billion loan, which was 15% of its loan book.

That’s quite a lot!

And its parent company — DCG — said it would fill this whole.

That's what she said, Round #2? 🥲

But DCG never did, even though they publicly and privately said they would.

The only thing they did was issue a “promissory note” for $1.1 billion that expires in 2032.

lolwhat? 😭

That’s like me borrowing 100 rupees from my friend and when he asks for it back, I give him a piece of paper that says, “I’ll pay you in 10 years bro, promise!!”

DCG did this with $1.1 billion that’s Rs 8,500 crores 😭 😭 😭

What happens next?

Well for starters — investors lost money and employees lost jobs because of 3 Arrows.

Yet the 3 Arrows’ founders are on the run and shitposting on Twitter:

(btw Zhu Su, check out the Web3 Normies podcast!)

But seriously, these are the parties that are screwed:

• Genesis — $1 billion+ hole in the balance sheet

• Gemini — 300,000 Earn users left with no way to withdraw funds

• DCG — accounting fraud accusations and just really shady behavior

• You — reading the doodhwala

🤷‍♂️

🎮 Gameswala: Our jokes may be chronic, but the DOODH is ICONIC

Given below is a screenshot of a popular movie.

You may also notice an ICONIC glass of DOODH in it 🥛

Guess the name of the movie!

(answer at the bottom of the email 👇 )

🔴 Are you Optimistic about NFTs?

The overall trade activity and volume of the larger NFT market are kinda low right now.

And by now, you know the reasons for it as well. (bear market yada yada)

But the NFT activity on this particular L2 is going up and up!

That L2 is — Optimism. 🔴

Wait…what’s an L2?

In the last few months, there have been over 4.1k trades per day at an average of 36.8 ETH every day! 😎

And the leading marketplace on this L2 where most of the trades are happening?

OpenSea. It is an Optimism native platform called Quix.

Quix controls more than 80% of the overall NFT trade volume. 🤯

OpenSea also launched on Optimism recently and has been slowly increasing its daily active users to over 800. (but still on the lower side compared to Quix’s 6k+)

Why all the hype? 🤨

We think there are 2 reasons for this crazy NFT run on Optimism:

• super cheap gas fees 💰

• NFTs collections were launched recently and everyone wants to be early 🤷‍♂️

Everybody wants to get in and capitalise on the opportunity early on but the real question is, will this crazy run carry on as we move further into 2023?

(You “think yes” or “think not”? REPLY and let us know 👇)

🍼 Crypto Doodhshots: FTX’s shares seized!

• 💰 500 million worth of Robinhood shares have been seized in the ongoing FTX/ SBF case.

• ⛔️ Stop that: Crypto payments company, Wyre, announces that users can only withdraw 90% of their funds with the company dangling in the bear market.

• 😬 No launch forever? Half the projects that crypto VCs have invested in seem to have no launch plans in their near future.

• 🚀 Arbitrum Nova: The leading NFT marketplace, OpenSea, adds support to Arbitrum Nova, which is a much cheaper option than Ethereum.

• 📉 You’re Fired: The social NFT platform, Super Rare, fired 30% of its staff because they felt they might have over-hired during the bull run.

🥛 Milky Meme Of The Day  

💰 Answer 💰

Let us know what you think 👇

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter (@DoodhwalaDaily)

That’s all for today bhaiyo aur bheno! Naale Sigona!

Aakash "Dahi Cheeni" Athawasya & Arvind "Doodh Peda" Krishna

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.

None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.