😮‍💨 Why MicroStrategy Buys Bitcoin

Gm, this is the doodhwala. The crypto newsletter that feels like a PARTYYY! 🔥

No booze, no drugs but it's a DOOODH kinda party! 😉

Here’s what we got for you today:

• 😮‍💨 Why MicroStrategy Buys Bitcoin

• ❤️ Happy Birthday, Satoshi

• 📈 Zora the Game Changer

• 🛠️ The Ultimate Toolbox for Web3 Apps

• 🥛 $2.4B Selling Pressure

😮‍💨 Why MicroStrategy Buys Bitcoin

Microstrategy.

It’s the strategy used by guys below 6 feet on dating apps.

It’s also the name of a company that buys Bitcoin like I buy unwanted electronic items during an Amazon sale.

Someone, please stop me, I’ve bought 3 fruit juicers, and I don’t even like fruits. 😭

In one week, Microstrategy bought 7,500 BTC worth $180 million.

But have you ever wondered – why tf does Microstrategy buy Bitcoin?

Before that – what does Microstrategy even do?

Microstrategy creates business intelligence software for companies for stuff like:

• data management

• report distribution

• resource dashboard

• and a buncha other boring stuff we don’t understand

So, why did Microstrategy start buying TONS of Bitcoin in August 2020?

Because they were holding billions of US dollars at a time when the US Reserve Bank – The Federal Reserve – was printing tons of money + airdropping it to Americans.

This ☝️ printer goes BRRR moment made Microstrategy dump their dollars for Bitcoin.

And so they → started buying Bitcoin with the US dollars they had.

The best part?

Microstrategy even took out a loan, backed it with Bitcoin, and bought more Bitcoin. 🤣

That’s like if I go to a bank → Give them doodh → The bank gives me US dollars → I go buy more doodh with these US dollars. 🥛 🥛 🥛

Tbh, sounds like a good deal! 👌

Microstrategy and its founder Michael Saylor have been doing ☝️ this for almost 3 years.

Michael Saylor looks like if you told an AI bot to produce the cross between a Bond villain and a Silicon Valley VC.

But there’s a catch!

In 2021, Bitcoin went from – 💩 $30,000 to 🚀 $70,000.

Microstrategy’s Bitcoin bets turned out to be the best bet since the guy who bet that Leicester City would win the Premier League in 2016. 🤯

Then in 2022, Bitcoin went down to $16,000 and Microstrategy’s Bitcoin bet looked like it was hit by the Drake Curse. Please don’t say anything nice about the doodhwala Drake! 🙏

Because Bitcoin’s price was going down faster than Chelsea’s premier league position and Microstrategy had to pay off a $200 million loan, it was in deep 💩.

Microstrategy would’ve been:

• margin-called if Bitcoin dropped to $13,000

• liquidated if Bitcoin dropped to $3,500

😮‍💨

But because Bitcoin didn’t fall to these numbers, Microstrategy survived.

Right now, Microstrategy holds:

• 140,000 BTC

• Acquired at $4.1 billion

• Average price of $29,000 per BTC

I’m just 139,999.9999 BTC away from Microstrategy. 🏆

❤️ Happy Birthday, Satoshi!

Yesterday was a BLAST! 🔥

Every crypto bro from around the world celebrated this monumental day.

• Bitcoin went to $1 million? Not yet.

• Coinbase became a Decentralized Exchange? Nah.

• US Government said “HELL YEAH” to crypto? Hell NO!

It was for something much better → Satoshi’s Birthday. 🍾

Yup!

The creator of the digital currency, that became our whole personality— Bitcoin. 🟠

But wait…isn’t Satoshi anonymous? 😉

Then how do we know his/her/their birthday? 😬

Satoshi entered a birth date when they registered the pseudonym, Satoshi Nakamoto, with The P2P Foundation.

According to that, their birthday is → April 5, 1975. 🔥

And since then, crypto bros have been trying to figure out if it’s the real birthday or if it is a code to something.

There went all Nicholas Cage in National Treasure on this. 😅

Here are some symbolic things that happened on that day: 

(which might seem like a wink from Satoshi 😉)

• U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt banned the private ownership of gold on April 5, 1933. (a.k.a government’s got all the gold!)

• And in 1975, another US President, Gerald Ford, repealed the same law.

So April 5th, 1975 might actually be a code? 🤨

Who knows.

And more importantly, who cares! 🤷‍♂️

The point is to just have a day to celebrate everything Satoshi has given us.

Without them, we wouldn’t have the greatest joys in the world:

• Blockchain technology ⛓

• Sending and receiving Bitcoin 🟠

• Mining for precious crypto gold 💰

Not just that, but we would have missed out on a whole cultural revolution:

The Lambo memes, the HODL memes, and the “To The Moon” reference. 🥲

A whole generation of people was raised to find great opportunities online, in whatever field they like without having to worry about how they’ll get paid.

All because of Satoshi’s great invention. 🍾

So thank you, Satsoshi!

And a very happy birthday to you from your favv newsletter. ❤️

📈 Chaach and Charts: Zora the Game Changer

Like THAT PS5 game, NFTs can be bought:

• directly from the creator, or

• from NFT owners

Buying an NFT from the creator is called – minting the NFT 🫢

And an NFT minting platform is going 📈 while NFT marketplaces are going 📉.

One NFT minting platform that we’re looking at is → ZORA, a marketplace where you can create + mint NFTs.

Zora is a rising star that's been kickin' it for 4 consecutive weeks, even outpacing OpenSea! 💪

Here's what's up with Zora:

🔥 Generated $1.5m revenue since Feb - this baby is on fire!

🎨 User-friendly NFT creation tool - minting made easy, no tech skills required!

💡 New fee policy - a genius move that's got people talking!

What's the deal with that fee policy? 🧐

Well, Zora charged creators a 5% commission.

But in February, they flipped the script and now charge buyers a flat $1 for 1 token mint. 🔄

Why's that cool?

Gas costs are usually WAY higher, so the $1 fee feels like a breeze for users. But it adds up for Zora's revenue! 🤑

Ain't no denyin' it — the NFT space is flip-floppin' like a gymnast, and Doodhwala’s here for it! 🤸‍♂️

Btw, what do you think of Zora's game plan?

🛠 Resourcewala: The Ultimate Toolbox for Web3 Apps

Feeling overwhelmed with the endless possibilities in the world of Web3, but want to start building your own dApps like a pro? 🧐

Don't sweat it, we've got you covered! 😎

Today's Resourcewala is here to equip you with the ULTIMATE toolbox to create full-stack dApps in just 4 mins! 🧰🚀

It has all the essentials:

• What are full-stack Web3 applications? 🤔

• Must-have tools for seamless coding 🛠️

• Essential libraries and frameworks 📚

• Step-by-step guide to building your first dApp in 4 minutes ⏳

• Deploying and testing your dApp like a pro 🌐

So grab your keyboard, fuel up on caffeine, and let's start building the future of the decentralized web together! 💪

🍼 Doodhshots: $2.4B Selling Pressure

• 🏆 Pro NFTs: OpenSea unveils OpenSea Pro, a swanky new NFT marketplace aggregator catering to the needs of professional users. High rollers, assemble!

• 📉 Ether Pressure Cooker: Ethereum's Shanghai Upgrade may trigger a whopping $2.4B selling pressure on Ether, say observers.

• 🐕 Doge Dilemma: A record-breaking $600M worth of Dogecoin in unsettled futures positions, reaching an all-time high. To the moon or bust?

• 🇨🇭 Swiss Crypto: Government-owned bank PostFinance plans to offer crypto services to customers, bringing digital assets to Swiss banking.

• 🎨 Troublesome Trump: "Criminal" Trump NFTs surge in popularity as the former president faces 34 felony charges, making digital artists say "Yuge!”

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter, our LinkedIn, and our Instagram.

That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.