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🕶️ META Is Selling AI Glasses

🕶️ META Is Selling AI Glasses

PLUS: Institutions Are Heading To The Middle East

Gm, this is the doodhwala! The only crypto newsletter that doesn’t give up on you.

We’re like the forever version of getting Rick Rolled. 🤝

Here’s what we got for you today:

😎 Mark’s Glasses: META Launches AI-glasses With Ray-Ban
🇦🇪 Habibi We Here: Institutions Are Loving UAE
📈 Cheese and Charts: Ethereum> Fortune 100 Revenue
💰 ALPHAwala: The NFT Lending WARs
🍼 Doodhshots: Pokemon Hater Gary

😎 Mark Zuckerberg Is Selling You Glasses

It took META 701 days to make good on its name change from Facebook.

Now it finally looks like the company has moved away from a “social media platform” into a “social metaverse.”

Over the past two days, Mark Zuckerberg was strutting around doing the unthinkable

Drinking oat milk ❌

Coming up with original features ❌

Wearing sunglasses and looking human ✅

What Mark is wearing is – META’s smart glasses called – Stories – developed with the same company that made Aviators, those cool sunglasses that pilots would wear.

Now, tech bros are gonna wear it. 🤣

Mark Zuckerberg unveiled Stories at Meta’s annual conference Connect 2023. And, we’ll be honest, it looks pretty pretty cool.

Here are a few features:

1️⃣ AI Assitant: The glasses have an in-built AI assistant that responds when you speak and completes tasks.

For instance: If you’re looking at a glass of milk, you can ask it – “Can you order me a litre of milk?…Oh and also set a reminder to open the doodhwala’s email at 10 am tomorrow”

But they’re calling it – META AI. 🥱

(I thought Mark was called META AI 🫢)

2️⃣ Text to Edit: The glasses can edit pictures through text prompts

For instance: If you just clicked a picture of yourself at the gym – “Make my biceps look bigger…like I’ve been lifting 20 litres of milk everyday.”

3️⃣ AI Characters: META also took celebs and made them into characters that you can talk to on WhatsApp, and Instagram.

Celebs like – Snoop Dogg, MrBeast, and Izzy Adesanya.

For instance: If you want to do a rap battle with Snoop, “Snoop Dogg's flow is tight, but his dairy tolerance is his kryptonite. That’s why I’m gonna bust him with my doodh might.”

These glasses seem waaay different than those Google Glasses we saw in 2013. They don’t just make things you see seem different, these glasses create things.

And let’s be honest, they look better than the Google Glasses.

So, what does this have to do with crypto?

Honestly. Not much!

Most crypto companies and influencers will try to spin this as a win for crypto and a win for web3. It’s not. It’s got nothing to do with web3.

META is building a cool product but it’s not on a blockchain, either a public or a private one.

But the glasses look revolutionary.

And it’s certainly a jump from V1, right Mark?! 👀

Doodhwala’s take:

We’re stoked to finally tell everyone that the glasses the doodhwala has been wearing is The Stories (we’ve been beta testers for over a year 🤙)

Now, even you can use it. 🫂

✊ Crypto Is Not Dead! We’ll Show You

Is crypto dead? 😭

Uhhh despite what your uncle tells you on WhatsApp, it isn’t. It’s very much alive.

Don’t believe us? 🤔

Head on over to – Unfold 2023 by CoinDCX – to find out more.

Unfold 2023 is India’s biggest crypto event. But it’s not like every other networking (read:boring) event.

It has:

🔥 A hackathon with $100K+ in bounty rewards

🔥 A fire speaker panel of top web3 founders

🔥 The one…the…only…the doodhwala

Here are the details:

🗓️ October 19 to 20
📍 KTPO, Whitefield, Bangalore
⏱️ Takes < 5 seconds to register

Hurry now, use the code – DW5 – to get 5% off and some v v cool merch!

🇦🇪 Habibi’s Got Crypto

The United Arab Emirates.

First thing you think when someone brings up the UAE is

Hummus
Expensive Things
Crypto Wallets

Wait, you don't think about the third one? Well, you better do. 😤

Because UAE is the major institutional crypto holder and user in the Middle East.

With companies planning to shift their HQs to the UAE and institutions bringing a major chunk of the volume — It is fine for us to understand how UAE is winning the hearts of crypto right now with their global strategy. 💙

☝️ Institutions bring in the value

So since June 2022, there has been a surge in institutional investments in crypto in the UAE.

The total amount influx-ed?

About $35 Billion. 🤑

Not just that, a study also showed that more than 67% of total transactions happening currently are led by institutions. 📈

Also, fun fact, more than 48% of activity happens on DEXs in the UAE. 😮

Something fishy going on?

Who are we to say? 🤭

And hey pssst…Just so you know… even the individuals who go here with $1 million+ will for sure register themselves as institutions. 😉

Clearly, we know all these tricks, coz we're the Doodhwala, the richest most knowledgeable crypto newsletter. 🥛🧠

✌️ Why UAE is winning

UAE is now known for being one of the biggest crypto hubs in the world. 🌏

But there's a very good reason why they ended up being where they are!

I mean, look at the companies that want to move there now! 🤷‍♂️

Coinbase ft. Bald Boi Brian
Binance ft. FUD Handler CZ
Even OPNX, ft. Marathon runner Su Zhu

There are good reasons why the UAE is winning in this crypto race.

👉 Fantastic Crypto Regulations

👉 Push from the leadership level of the Kingdom

👉 Attractive laws for new businesses to set up shop and avoid high taxes

I mean?

Make money and don't pay a lot back again?

Take everything I have. 💰💰💰

📈 Cheese and Charts: Ethereum> Fortune 100 Revenue

Vitalik has made us all proud, hasn’t he?

Man’s built a fantastic blockchain, got the best engineers to work on it—

And now, it’s his time to reap the fruit of the tree that he planted. 😌

Okay, we ain’t putting philosophy out right now:

But we wanted to talk about timelines.⏱️

To be precise, timelines that it takes businesses to scale to billions of dollars in revenue.🤑

Think of the biggest ones out there—

It took Adobe 21 years to achieve that $10 billion mark
It took Meta close to 8 years to achieve the $10 billion mark
And now, we have Ethereum, which seems to have done it within 6 years time

And that my dear doodhs, is what happens when you have great technology combined with great product market fit.

What do you think?

How long will your favorite blockchain take to become a giant?

Hit reply and let us know what you think! 👇

Source: Bloomberg

💰 ALPHAwala: The NFT Lending WARs

Welcome to Alphawala, a section where we bring you one top alpha straight from the depths of the Crypto Gulag aka Crypto Twitter 🔥

NFT Lending.

It’s a niche market within a niche market that’s not doing well right now.,

Or is it?

It all depends on where you look.

NFT lending protocols like:

NFTFI
BendDao
Paraspace
And the leader – Blend

These protocols are racing up to acquire users.

Users like 🫵 you 🫵.

Here’s how you can benefit from this 👇

🍼 Doodhshots: Pokemon Hater Gary

👾 Gotta Catch Em All: Gary Gensler calls tokenized Pokemon cards as “securities” but not regular Pokemon cards. Gensler looks like he’d be in Team Rocket fr!
👨🏻‍🦲 Two-timing CEO: Binance’s CEO Changpeng Zhao denies he’s the head of CommEx, the company that bought Binance’s Russian business. He’s now a part-time shady CEO?
🇺🇸 Not For Americans: Coinbase is starting perpetuals trading for retail users outside the United States in for cryptos – BTC, ETH, XRP, and LTC. Brian going BIG but going away from home!
🤝 Ditch The Trust: Ripple, the parent company of XRP, abandons plans to acquire Fortress Trust, a financial infrastructure and compliance company. Ripple ditching compliance? We’re not surprised!
🎮 Xbox Wallet: Gaming giant Xbox, under the Microsoft umbrella, might include a crypto wallet in its new console according to unredacted documents. Achievement Unlocked: Crypto wallets for 16-year old kids.

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

Understood?
— Doodhwala 🥛 (@DoodhwalaDaily)
Sep 27, 2023

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That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.