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- 🤦🏽♂️ This Indian Kid Just Helped SBF
🤦🏽♂️ This Indian Kid Just Helped SBF
PLUS: Reddit's Tokens Are Crashing
Gm, this is the doodhwala, the crypto newsletter that’s funnier than Chandler, and more lovable than Joey.
Laughing while reading about crypto is the best medicine. - Doodhwala🥛
Here’s what we got for you today:
🔽 Reddit’s Dump: Reddit’s Tokens Just Dropped By 84%
📜 Bankman's Bankruptcy: Sam Gets A Breakthrough
📈Cheese and Charts: NFTs Down Bad
🛠️ Resourcewala: Hey, WTF Are Liquidity Pools?
🍼 Doodhshots: Betting On ETFs
🎈Reddit’s At It Again
Reddit.
The fifth most visited website on the internet is doing something big.
And by big we mean it’s gonna break some hearts.💔
So, what's happening? 🤔
A while back, like three years ago, Reddit came up with a way to thank its users who posted cool stuff.
They introduced – Community Tokens – kind of like Reddit's own money.
But guess what? They've decided to stop it all by November 8. 🚫 📅
What's the deal with these tokens?
Reddit gave them out as a "thank you" to its users for cool posts and comments. 🎁
They started on Ethereum and then moved to Arbitrum. 🌐
The best part? You could use these tokens to get fun stuff on Reddit, like badges and GIFs. 🎉
But here's the shocker! ⚡️
Two of these tokens, MOON and BRICK, crashing BAD! 💥
MOON's value dropped by 84%, now it's at $0.035. 📉
BRICK's value also went down by 59%, now it's at $0.041. 😔
They fell more hard than my shitcoins that I bought after so much research and analysis.
Now, the million-dollar question: Why's Reddit ditching its crypto love? 💔
No not the same reason why your ex ditched you.
A report says it's because it's too hard to manage and there are some unclear rules about these coins. Reddit's boss, Tim Rathschmidt, said it's tough to keep it going.
But, the good news? Those NFT avatars are not going anywhere! 🖼️
What do Reddit users think about this move? 🧐
Some don't really care (who does anyway).
Others are happy about it.
One person said things changed when these coins started.
Maybe it's a good thing they're going. Another person said they hope to see better posts now.
Doodhwala’s Take:
To the MOON, BRICK, or wherever this crypto ride takes us next — we’re all in. 🚀
📜 Bankman’s Bankruptcy: Sam Gets A Breakthrough
You’re reading Bankman's Bankruptcy, a new section keeping you updated on one of the biggest shit-shows of the 21st century, doodhwala style!
Less than 3 weeks into this court hearing.
And it's already getting weird af. 😮💨
FYI, we're just waiting for the second week of November till we get to decide if Sam’s going to jail. 👮♂️
(Don't worry, he gonna see some jail food fo sho)
When Nishad Singh, former engineering director at FTX, came to court again, there were some OOPSIES that he pulled — Which made Sam's lawyers have a strong point. 💪
What did he say?
And why the frick doesn't this seem to end anytime soon?
🔎 Revelation 1: Sam's Investments Weren’t ‘Reckless’
The Indian tech geek testified about his experience with Alameda, FTX, and SBF this week.
We wrote about that Netflix story yesterday. 📽️
Nishad had addressed the court that Sam used to recklessly spend on Celebrity endorsements as well as buying mansions. 🏠
That number was over >$1 billion. 💰
Well, things took a turn tho when some new revelations came out.
Revelations like the fact that—
Nishad said that the $35 million penthouse in the Bahamas was unnecessary - YET he & his girlfriend stayed in the Master suite till the end. 🤷♂️
Nishad hated that executives were misusing customer funds- YET he had purchased a $3 Million penthouse right after the collapse using a company loan.🤷♂️
Nishad complained of lavish spending on unwanted celebrities - YET they never reached out to the Doodhwala. The biggest celebrity in Crypto! 🥛
Not just that, there were callouts on Sam investing in celebrity brands like Kendall Jenner’s 818 Tequila brand, using customer funds. 😮💨
This guy just can't stop, can he? 🤦♂️
🔎 Revelation 2: Nishad was lying in court?
Nishad went from Cow Milk Energy Testifier → Oat Milk Energy Defender last night. 🤢
Things took a weird turn when Nishad started to contradict himself last night. 🤔
And there's a good chance that he was trying to lie in court as well. 😮
Why? 🤔
Well, when questioned about the same things earlier this week — Nishad had a “surprising amount of haziness” when trying to remember the sequence of events that led to the collapse. 📉
Let's not forget, this was the same dude that gave detailed answers about the collapse earlier.
What happened Nishad?
Did money get your tongue? 👅
📈 Cheese & Charts: NFTs Are Down BAD
Hey, remember when NFTs were still relevant?
Yeah, that's a phrase we can use now. 🤭
There's no doubt that every mfer who shilled for an NFT project is now working at McDonald's.
But who knew that the Down-Baddery would be this bad? 🫂
For some context — The Ethereum NFT marketplace has hit an Annual low. 😶
All the way from $7 billion in May of 2022 → less than $1 Billion now. 📉
Why the frick did this happen?
There's a bunch of reasons:
The whole crypto market got rekt over the past year with FTX
The US FED decided to screw the market again
And then the SEC decided to YEEET the market more
No surprise on the reasons. 🤦♂️
But hey, it's not all sad. Despite the Down-Baddery—
Some cow milk-powered NFT projects like Bored Ape Yacht Club and Cryptopunks are seeing some uptick in sales volumes. 😮
So the question is rather simple - Will NFTs have a bounce back in 2024?
We'll only have to wait and watch. 😉
Source: Messari
🛠 Resourcewala: WTF are Liquidity Pools?
Have you been hearing a ton about "liquidity pools" in the DeFi scene?
You ain't alone, bruh.
It’s one of the terms even the smartest whales don't get. Like, WTF is a liquidity pool?
Nah, it's simpler but just as fascinating. And yep, it's all about the 💰.
Today's resource is about:
The basics of liquidity pools.
Why do they even exist? 🤔
How they’re making waves in the crypto sea.
PLUS: The pros and cons (Yep, sharks lurk here too! 🦈).
LFG! 🔥🔥🔥
🍼 Doodhshots: ETF Predictions Are In
🕵️♂️ Audit Alert: FDIC in the hot seat as reports reveal a lack of 'clear procedures' for handling crypto. Oversight, oversmooth?
📉 Chill Factor: Coinbase trading hits the brakes, facing a crypto winter slowdown, says Berenberg. Hibernation mode on?
🎰 Bet on ETF: Galaxy's Novogratz predicts a Bitcoin ETF green light in 2023, claiming SEC's Gensler is hunting for a win. All bets are in!
🚑 Doctor's Dark Deal: Doc pays in Bitcoin for hiring a hitman for murder. What happened to 'do no harm,' doc?
🏛️ Crypto on Notice: Senator Warren leads the charge, pushing for action against crypto's use in dark deeds. New sheriff in town?
🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day
Gm fam🥛
We do what we do.
— Doodhwala 🥛 (@DoodhwalaDaily)
Oct 18, 2023
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That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!
Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.