👀 How FTX Used To Calculate Their Insurance Fund

Gm, this is the doodhwala, the crypto newsletter that loves to GET AFTER IT! 🔥

Jocko style! 💪

Here’s what we got for you today:

• 😀 Casual Fraud: How FTX Used To Calculate Their Insurance Fund

• 🐸 Dumping The Frog: The Story Behind The Guy Who Dumped $PEPE

• 📈 Cheese and Charts: L2’s Stealing From Ethereum?

• 🛠️ Resourcewala: How To Make Your Own Token

• 🍼 Doodhwala: $400 Million Save

😃 Let’s Commit Insurance Fraud!

The FTX trials have begun!

And the time to testify one of the biggest criminal of the century is happening over the coming weeks. 🗓️

Everyday, there are people coming in to testify their story with—

• FTX

• Alameda Research

• Sam Bankman Fried

And in these ongoing trials, one of Sam's closest colleagues just admitted that the way they backed their insurance—

Was a complete lie and a fraudulent way of doing it! 😵

And Sam's acting the usual - quiet and stupid. 🤷‍♂️

Can someone remind this dude that he's being testified for fraud? 💀

Say hello to Gary Wang, part-time fraud company co-founder—

Full-time staring into the abyss while ignoring the cameraman enthusiast.

Gary was the co-founder of FTX, and while he was testifying in court yesterday—

Bro randomly admitted that the numbers used in the FTX insurance funds were made up. 😳

And that's the reason why there was always a mismatch when it came to total money in insurance VS. total money in the exchange. 📟

Come onnnnnn, is it really that hard to build an insurance fund? 🙄

Like literally just insure the total deposits in the exchange + Surplus to stay safe? 🤷‍♂️

Everyday, we realize how stupid this whole 💩-show was being run.

2️⃣ Fantastic Math

The Oatmilk consumption is quite visible in this one. 💀

So Gary Wang revealed how Sam Bankman Fried used to come up with numbers for the insurance.

In his own words—

WTF! 🤷‍♂️🤣

That's the most gaslighted random ass number we've ever heard! And we sell milk in millions of liters! 🥛

It’s like coming up with a formula to calculate the liters of doodh needed to wipe out the sun! 🤷‍♂️

3️⃣The Snitching has begun

All of SBF’s folks are snitching on him. Ever since the FX trials have begun, everyone seems to hate FTX more than required! 🤣

Even Gary Wang, his co-founder and fellow abyss starer supported the fact that FTX had engaged in Wire Fraud and that Sam was the culprit behind it.

In the coming days, he has to face accusations from everyone who worked closely with him—

Including his ex-girlfriend Caroline Ellison. 💏

Will she put an end to the snitching that everyone in his group has done so far against him?

Who knows, we’ll just wait and watch, and have the popcorn and doodh ready! 🍿🥛

Doodhwala’s Take: We’re all waiting for 3 things in life—

1. Watch Halley’s Comet pass the Earth in 2061

2. Try Alien Cow Milk during the Purge

3. See Sam Bankman Fried in Jail

📉 This Guy Dumped $PEPE?

OpenSea.

The largest NFT marketplace of the world is in news AGAIN. 🚀

Wtf happened? 🤔

Remember the AnubisDAO rug pull from 2021?

Yeah, when AnubisDAO managed to raise a whopping 13,556 Ether (that's $60 million). But the funds disappeared just 20 hours later. 💸

Investors? Left in the dust. 💔

Well, just think who might be behind it?

No not SBF. I mean it’s not wrong to think about him while talking about a scam.

Then who? Kevin Pawlak.

And yes he was the head of ventures at OpenSea who left in June 2023.

How’d we get to know? 🤔

OpenSea recently got tagged in a spicy thread on X by an anonymous account named NFT Ethics asking about Kevin’s shady actions.

So, this Kevin guy is allegedly linked to the mysterious "0xSisyphus."

And guess what? This 0xSisyphus was supposedly hyping up AnubisDAO to investors just before...you guessed it...the money disappeared! 💸

But wait.

NFT Ethics suggests that Kevin didn't act alone. 😬

He might've teamed up with some devs and funneled the cash through a memecoin $PEPE.

If this is true, a documentary should be made on this.

Tho OpenSea denies being aware about all this.

But one BIG guy came forward and he’s like the James Bond and Sherlock Homes for crypto scams.

Yes, he’s ZachXBT. 😎

He called the thread "one of the most mid-curve things" he's ever read. Burn🔥

According to him, a lot of the claims were just assumptions without any real evidence. 👇

And here's something cool: 0xSisyphus once said he'd give 1,000 ETH to anyone who could find out who took the money.

He even talked to police in the US and Hong Kong. 🇺🇸 🇭🇰

ZachXBT thinks there's a difference between being careless and straight-up stealing. And he's pretty sure 0xSisyphus is on the right side of that line.

So, is he really a villain? 🤔

Don’t know about him but my ex definitely was.

Who Really Did It? 🎭

ZachXBT believes that two pseudonymous users, "Beerus" and "Ersan," might be the real brains behind the AnubisDAO scandal.

Man all this really sounds like a Netflix series in the making.

And if it does I can play the role of milkman who delivers milk at Zach’s house.

Let’s face it, he’s this smart only cuz he drinks doodh.🥛

📈 Cheese and Charts: L2’s Stealing From Ethereum

Remember when we all thought Ethereum was THE place for all the action?

Well, things have changed.

This is the same line my girlfriend tells me whenever I ask her why she’s so strange.

A report says that in the last two years, Ethereum's been doing a lot of its stuff somewhere else. 🌍

Mainnet? Nah, that's old news!

In 2021, Ethereum was super busy with $11M transactions every day. 🎉

But after that? L2s have been the new cool kids on the block. 😎

The Numbers Don't Lie:

🗓 2021:

Ethereum's Peak - $11M tx per day

🗓 2021:

Just around $6M tx per day

Hold up, what's L2? 🧐

L2s (Layer 2s) are like Ethereum's buddies. They help Ethereum do more stuff without making the main place too crowded.

It's like having a friend help you out when things get too busy. 🤝

So, what's the tea? Is Ethereum losing its touch, or is it just evolving with the times? ☕

Drop your thoughts below! 👇

🛠 Resourcewala: The ABCs of Token Creation

Everyone and their uncle wants to mint a token these days. 🚀

Got an idea? Cool, cool.

But how tf do we do that, especially without a PhD in nerd? 🤓

Worry not, the answer: ERC20 tokens.

Today’s resource is gonna be your jam:

• Breaking down ERC20: What, How, Why?

• Step-by-step: Going from zero to your own token!

• Coding but make it fun: Because who said tech has to be dull?

LFG, to the moon with your own token! 🚀

🍼 Doodhshots: $400 Million Save

• 🔁 Cashback Received: HTX (prev. Huobi) hacker has returned the $8 million they stole to the exchange, after settling for a $400,000 bounty. Bro stole money and got rewarded for it.

• 🧠 Big Brain Kumanan: A consultant from FTX Kumanan Ramanathan helped save $400 million during the hack last year. I mean, saving $400 million after losing 10 billion? Really?

• 🆕 New Feature: Binance Futures has a new feature for copying user trades on the app, which will mirror orders. Fantastic, can’t wait to copy TradeWhore69’s losses!

• 🥷 Prime Target: Crypto exchange Upbit has been targeted more than 159,000 times by hackers in the first half of this year. Bro must’ve kidnapped Liam Neeson’s daughter or sumethin.

• 🤷‍♂️ Mixed Signals: The SEC argued that cryptocurrencies have no innate or inherent value in the Coinbase trials. Hey Gary, remember when you shilled for Algorand?

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

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That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.

Today’s edition was brought to you by Ritik Gupta and Sumanth

Edited by: Arvind Krishna and Aakash Athawasya