🔪 Degens KILLED this blockchain

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Here’s your reason to smile today:

• 🚀 Ethereum's testnet bout to BLOW

• 🇰🇵 Hide Your NFTs from _____

• 📈 These blockchains are going UP!

• 🍼 $168 million out of Binance

• 🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

All SMILES today 😊

  🚀  Ethereum's testnet bout to BLOW

One of the most important parts of the Ethereum blockchain is about to die. 🔪

And it’s not because no one is using it. It’s because a LOT OF people are using it.

The catch is:

people != developerspeople = speculators

We're talking about Gorilla Goreli.

Goerli is one of the testnets of the Ethereum blockchain.

Wait, tf is a testnet?

Think of a testnet as a warm-up game. Kinda like those pre-season warm-up competitions for football clubs. Still the only trophy Tottenham can win 🤣

And testnets like Goerli have a native testnet token.

But because they’re “TESTNETS” their native tokens are “TESTNET TOKENS” with ZERO VALUE, right?

RIGHT?!?!

Nah man, this is crypto. Everything has a speculative value even dog currency and monkey pics. 🫠

Goerli's testnet token – gETH – went from 0 to millions in less than a week.

This is the crazy story of how it happened in 3 parts:

1️⃣ The reason 

2️⃣ The problem

3️⃣ The result

The reason? 👇

Testnet tokens (like gETH) are distributed via faucets from Ethereum validators. Think of faucets as web apps where you can — add addresses + receive free tokens.

But these tokens = HAVE NO VALUE.

Here is an example of Polygon’s faucet:

The problem? 👇

Distributing testnet tokens from faucets to developers takes a TON of time.

And developers DON'T like waiting. 😬

So, LayerZero, a blockchain bridge builder that operates an Ethereum validator decided to create a bridge between: 

Goerli 🌉 Ethereum

And it decided to do this via Uniswap 🦄

Basically → Users can go to Uniswap and create a swap transaction from Goerli to Ethereum or from Ethereum to Goreli.

LayerZero kept the price of gETH = $0.1

But if a crypto has a price, traders WILL use it like a toy, trade it, and eventually destroy it. 😭

Crypto traders are like my dog 🐶. If something is important to me, my dog will use it as a toy and destroy it. I’ve already lost 9 pairs of socks, 2 chappals, and my laptop charger. 😭

The result? 👇

Traders traded the 💩 outta gETH.

Over the past few days the native token on the Goerli testnet — gETH:

👉 which should be $0

📈 was swapped at $0.1

🚀 pumped to $1.6 per coin

💩 dumped to $0.4 per coin

🙈

And it's not just price speculation.

Because of the entry of a bunch of traders and degens, the community started creating:

🎭 NFTs: On the OpenSea Testnet, NFTs have been sold for close to 100k gETH. These include sales for the top NFT collections 👇

🐶 Meme coins: Someone just launched Goerli Inu (GoINU) on the Goreli testnet. 🤯

All of this has made:

• the Goerli network crowded

• the gETH token tough to acquire

And now the Ethereum community is thinking about shutting down the Goerli testnet to avoid further speculative activities.

Doodhwala’s take:

This might be a 🔥 take than most of our other takes.

Public goods need to be public + free.

Testnets (Goerli) and testnet tokens (gETH) are meant to TEST protocols before they get going on the main blockchain. And not used as a way to pump coins, launch NFTs, or dump shitcoins. 🙈

Speculation in this ☝️ should be a no-no. Cuz speculation brings in liquidity + traffic which ruins the point of testing a testnet. Jah feel?

🇰🇵 North Korea Is Coming For Your NFTs

North Korea, aka Kim Korea, a country known for its:

• Thriving culture ❌

• Most handsome leader ❌

• Crypto Scam Innovation ✅

… is back with yet another super innovative scam series. (man, if they only put this much effort into helping their people 🤷‍♂️)

This time they are back for your JPEGs NFTs.

First…let’s look at some BIG + BAD NFT numbers. 🔢

1️⃣ 11k NFTs worth over $25 MILLION have been hacked since 2021 🤯

2️⃣ The top-3 victims lost over $1.8 million in total

3️⃣ The top attacker stole $4 million

And the past 6 months have seen a significant increase in NFT hacks. 📈

NFT hacks are increasing almost as fast as

The reason behind this is pretty simple:

North Korea has become more INCLUSIVE. 🤗

Nope. We’re not joking.

When we look at the people that were being attacked previously, it was mainly the wallets with big money in them. 💰

Like the creator of Moonbirds, Kevin Rose. (Dude lost close $600k 🥲)

But now…👇

North Korea is attacking everyone.

🤝 Big money AND small money.

🤝 No discrimination.

It's not the inclusivity we hoped for. 😅

The nerd term for this is — Industrialized Dragnet Phishing. 🥱

Basically, they are casting a wide net while attacking. (Just like my go-to Tinder strategy. Swipe right on everyone and everything. 😎)

But how exactly are they attacking? 🤨

By exploiting the signature requests on wallets like — Metamask.

Usually, when we sign transactions on Metamask, we don’t even know what we are signing.

There are so many numbers and letters that most of us don't even understand. 😩

All we want to do is just hit SIGN and be done with it. 😭

The North Korean hackers use this non-human-readable code and phishing sites to trick us into signing harmful messages to

• Buy some spoiled doodh ❌

• Sell my organs to North Korea ❌

• Sell my precious NFTs for a zero price in OpenSea ✅

And they swoop in immediately and get that NFT for free. 😭 😭 😭

That’s some Moneyball-level strategy if you ask me.

Doodhwala’s take:

As the North Korean hackers get more innovative with their scams, our crazy devs must also get innovative with finding solutions to them.

It’s definitely going to be a challenge but we have enough brainpower to beat them. 💪

Is this how Kim plans to bring the US to its knees? With NFTs? 🙈

📢 REFER AND WIN some doodhwala merch 📢

For the first time evaaa, we're giving away the doodhwala merch.

But it's not lame t-shirts with some random company name, but super cool stuff like:

😜 stickers – for your 💻, 📱 and 🚽📘 notebooks – to write your crush's name🍺 mugs – for your doodh, and NOT your beer!!👕 t-shirts – with totally non-controversial things (promise 😉)🧥 hoodies – because we wanna keep you warm in the crypto 🥶 winter🎁 mystery box – with some super cool prizes that’s worth more than 1 Bitcoin

Chegg it 👇

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All you gotta do is share the doodhwala with this link (only available on email, not on web view) 👇

📈 Chaach and Charts: zkEVM goes 🚀

Crypto is all about privacy.

🤦‍♂️ Well, I know everyone’s addresses are public.

🤦‍♂️ Well, I know everyone’s transactions are public.

🤦‍♂️ Well, I know everyone’s crypto holdings are public.

But what if you could make only 1️⃣ of ☝️ these public when sharing your details. While the others would be under lock and key 🔐?

Sounds cool right?

That’s what zero-knowledge proofs allow.

And Ethereum compatible blockchains with zk proofs are going crazy 🚀🚀🚀

📜 Scroll: The Ethereum L2 zkEVM – already has close to 1 million unique addresses

🧬 Polygon: The Ethereum sidechain (that’s launching its zkEVM in March) has 85k unqiue addresses.

🦊 ConsenSys: The parent company of Metamask and Infura, also has close to 20k unique addresses on its zkEVM.

🛠 Resourcewala: Don’t be a SmartAss  

Ethereum is pretty cool ngl. 🤙

More than that it’s pretty smart. 🤌

Because it’s powered by smart contracts. 👌

These are smarter than Sharma-ji ka beta. 😲

But how TF does these smart contracts work?

Don’t worry FAM, we gotcha 👇

🍼 Crypto Doodhshots: $168 million moves out of Binance

• 💁‍♂️ My App, My Rules: The world’s second-largest centralized crypto exchange, Coinbase, has decided to halt all trading of Binance’s BUSD stablecoin. Reason? Doesn’t meet the listing standards.

• 💰 Stacking Stacks: STX, the native token of the protocol bringing DeFi to the Bitcoin Network, Stacks, is pumping hard this week with all the craze around Bitcoin NFTs.

• 👋 Moving out: Two separate Ethereum whales just moved $168.4 million worth of ETH off Binance. What’s happening? Do they know something that we don’t?

• 🍟 Chips, anyone? Trezor, the popular company creating super cool hardware wallets, now wants to produce wallet chips and end dependence on third parties. Right move?

• 🚨 Metaverse Alert: Two giant Japanese companies, Fujitsu and Mitsubishi, want to move on the web3 bandwagon by creating a whole infrastructure ecosystem for metaverses.

😂 Milky Meme Of The Day

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That’s all for today bhaiyo aur bheno! Naale Sigona! Aakash "Dahi Cheeni" Athawasya & Arvind "Doodh Peda" Krishna

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.