🙏 Please Crypto! Tell me you're fine.

Namaskara, this is the doodhwala. The crypto newsletter that’s for everyone, from dadaji to chotu. Read this out to everyone! 📢📢📢

Here is the family special for today

• Crypto is fine, just ask the DEVs

• FTX customers will get their funds back!

• Who is the BIGGEST holder of ETH?

• Milky Meme Of The Day

Is crypto actually fine? 😅

Okay, I’m not gonna lie to you, this is a pretty scary time to be in crypto.

• Binance and CZ might be charged with criminal offences 😬

• SBF was just arrested in the Bahamas and who tf knows how that’ll pan out 🫡

• No one wants to attend any crypto event after the ETH India week exhaustion 😭

Everything’s a little too uncertain rn. 🤷‍♂️

During times like this you wonder, “wait…why the hell am I reading a frickin’ newsletter called doodhwala and not some “reputable” stuff like NYT or The Block??”

To that, we say, lol. 😂

The “reputable” media houses like The New York Times (NYT) and Wall Street Journal (WSJ) are too busy defending SBF and his messiah status. 🤦‍♂️

And the CEO of crypto native media, The Block, has been taking money from SBF and his wretched gang at FTX to buy mansions in the Bahamas. 🙃

Ikr! 🤯

What do you even do during times like this?

Well, we just want to say one thing:

FOLLOW THE DEVS! 😎

Yes. No matter how bad the market is or how much FUD is being spread around, one thing is always certain:

The dev activity don't lie!

So let’s take a look at one particularly important area of dev activity and that is the Goerli Testnet.

Wtf a Goerli?

Alright, now let's actually look at some data:

• At the beginning of the year, the number of contract creators (i.e. the devs creating the contracts) was at 1-2k per week. But now, the number has surged by 10x.

What bear market…amirite?! 😅

Not just that.

Even the total number of contracts being created per week reached new heights!

In the first week of November, there were close to 300k contracts deployed. 🤯

(Again, thanks to the Dune community for building these great dashboards!)

This is an incredible sign of how things actually are and how it is going to be.

So it’s always great to remember that, when in doubt:

• Ignore all the noise

• Look at the data (especially dev activity data)

• And READ THE FRICKIN’ DOODHWALA 🥛

This way, you can never go wrong.

🥂

Listen up buidlers: It’s time to ZKAdvance 🚀

Everyone needs a supporter. 🤝

A Circuit to their Munna Bhai. A De Villiers to their Virat Kohli. A Joey to their Chandler.

Especially web3 builders!

The truth is few people want to partner with web3 builders after the bear market of 2022.

One of those few people are → Brinc x Animoca Brands.

They’re bringing their flagship ZK Advancer Accelerator to 🇮🇳 for:

• web3 startups in India, or

• web3 startups that wanna enter India

They’re offering an investment of $250k, a cool curriculum, and 1-on-1 meetings with Brinc x Animoca Brands’s network of mentors + founders.

Apply here. Registrations close on 30 December.

These FTX customers will get their funds back

After FTX blew up, everyone had two questions —

1. what does F-T-X even stand for?!?

2. will I ever get my FTX funds back?!?

Alright, we don’t know the answer to #1 but #2 is — YESS. 🥳

…if you were a customer of FTX Japan. 🇯🇵

Yup, of all the subsidiaries of the crypto exchange, the Japanese one is closest to giving back customer money.

And it’s not because Japanese people watch a ton of anime so they knew SBF was an evil Hokage. 😈

It’s because they’ve been through this before. Actually, twice before.

FTX Japan was the 3rd BIG crypto exchange that blew up in Japan after:

• MtGoX: In 2014 hackers stole ~800k BTC worth $400 million

• Coincheck: In 2018 hackers stole 520 million NEM coins worth $500 million

So, what did Japan learn from these ☝️ blow-ups that they used to make sure another exchange doesn’t screw up?

4 things:

1️⃣ Separate customer funds 🚪 Exchange funds

FTX Japan was forced to separate customers’ fiat and crypto from their own crypto.

This way they couldn’t mix them with the main FTX’s funds.

Here’s how much FTX Japan held:

🟠 3,194 BTC [$56 million]♢ 16,418 ETH [$21 million]🤡 64.1 million XRP [$25 million]🍣 6 billion JPY [$44 million] JPY is not a degenerate coin, you filthy animals, it’s a fiat currency.

2️⃣ Customer fiat funds held by a 3rd party

FTX Japan didn’t hold the customers’ funds directly.

They held it through a 3rd party like a bank.

This was SBF couldn’t hit up FTX Japan and say, “Hey JAPAN, you have customer funds. And we want to YOLO it to Alameda. Pls send ASAP!”

3️⃣ If a 🇯🇵 exchange goes down, customers are paid first

When a person uses FTX, they come a — FTX customer, an FTX creditor, broke 😭

Creditor = Someone who lends money to someone else.

An exchange has other creditors like — banks, VCs, employees, and more.

But according to Japanese regulations, if an exchange goes down the 🚽 customers are paid before general creditors like banks and VCs.

Some FTX subsidiaries are in countries where customers are after the main FTX in terms of credit repayment.

This means SBF and Carolina could be paid before some FTX customers. 🤬

4️⃣ 95-5% fund split

Japanese exchanges are forced to keep:

• 95% of crypto funds in cold wallets

• 5% of crypto funds in hot wallets (but each crypto in the hot wallet is backed 1-for-1 in the cold wallet)

This way there ain't no back 🚪 for SBF to their money.

Damn, Japanese exchanges follow better wallet safety measures than most people I know 😭 😭 😭

Doodhwala’s take:

We’re not about the regulations game. Mainly because we don’t know squat about policy and stuff, but also because we’re in 🇮🇳 and Indian regulations have been 💩

But what 🇯🇵 is doing seems to be legit. At least in light of this FTX ftx-up.

And if it’s helping FTX Japan’s customers in getting back their funds — we’ll drink a saké and eat some sushi while watching an episode of Naruto to that. 👘

Lassi and Lists: Who has the most ETH of em’ all?

We all know that Binance holds the most BTC when it comes to exchanges.

But who holds the most ETH?

Is it still Binance? Or is it some other chotu-exchange like Kraken or Bitfinex? 😅

Actually, nothing is surprising here. 🤷‍♂️

Coinbase, the one centralized exchange that seems to be doing okay (at least on the surface), is the BIGGEST ETH holder of em’ all!

They hold 8.6M ETH or $11 BILLION, which is almost 34% of all ETH on exchanges. 🤯

Goddamn!

Binance is the second biggest holder with almost 5.06 million ETH held.

Milky Meme of The Day

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter (@DoodhwalaDaily)

That’s all for today bhaiyo aur bheno! Naale Sigona!

Aakash "Dahi Cheeni" Athawasya & Arvind "Doodh Peda" Krishna

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.

None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.