🫢 CZ summoned to US court

Gm, this is the doodhwala, the only crypto newsletter that makes you feel like it’s your birthday. We’ve got the cakes 🎂, the candles 🕯️, and the gifts 🎁.

Here’s how you celebrate today:

• 💣 Confusion 2.0: 2 BIG problems for crypto exchanges + investors!

• 👨🏻‍🦲 Hero to Zero: The Rise and Fall of Crypto’s most important regulator

• 📊 40% drop in May: This crypto niche just LOST its profits!

• 🛠️ Resourcewala: A deep dive into GameFi

• 🍼 Doodhshots: Kim Kardashian’s crypto suit

🙆‍♂️ Chaos, Confusion, and Pandemonium

It’s hell on the streets ya’ll, and it’s just Thursday!

The SEC’s crackdown on Binance and Coinbase has started to come out in full play.🎡

Not just that, the ripple effects of this decision have sent the entire crypto industry into PANIC MODE.

What the hell is even happening?

The doodhwala spent all night figuring out the chaos on the street sipping on some caffeinated doodh. 💪

Let’s understand everything important that’s been happening since yesterday.

👉 The SEC wants to freeze all of Binance’s US assets

If this order comes into play, the SEC will have the power not only to gain all of Binance’s assets and records but also full autonomy to control the crypto as well as fiat deposits on the platform.😨

👉 Coinbase has 1 week to respond to the US court

This is everything to do from internal rulemaking to decisions on the operations of its platform. This order was triggered following the SEC crackdown on Coinbase.

👉 Binance US delisted over 45 trading pairs

The US entity delisted a ton of trading pairs, giving a 1-day deadline to extend deposits and withdrawals. This included a ton of huge pairs including 1Inch, MANA, and many more.

👉 Robinhood is spooked and reviews crypto offerings

In light of the SEC crackdown, the equities brokerage platform Robinhood is reviewing the crypto assets on its platform. They want to have no doodh in the game.🥛

👉 A US District Court orders Binance chief CZ to appear in court.

CZ is required to legally respond to the summoning order within 21 days, although he doesn’t necessarily HAVE to appear in court. If he doesn’t respond, judgment will be taken by default against him.

But these ☝️ are what the suit-and-tie-wearing weirdos are saying. What’s the rumor on the street? 🤫

If all of that above news wasn’t enough to burn your tongue as hot doodh 🥛 does — It gets worse.

There are a ton of rumors that are surfacing on the street, everything to do from:

👉 Internal corporate actions taking place

👉 Crypto exchanges being secretly insolvent

👉 Everyone getting their best news and takes from the Doodhwala

Although we don’t like to pay attention to rumors, there were 2 of them that were too spicy 🌶️ to ignore. 🥵

1️⃣ The Wall Street Journal reported that Binance US losses in 2022 was $181 million, and they’ve been unprofitable since 2020.

2️⃣ Rumors are surfacing that other exchanges and entities might take the same route as Binance and delist a ton of tokens to stay away from the problems of the SEC.

What would the effect of these decisions be?

• Trading volumes on CEXs would drop dramatically. 📉

• A bunch of token holders will not have an exchange to off-ramp crypto → fiat. 💴

That’s a hella risky.

Exchanges to date used to follow the Lil Wayne method of moving in stealth, coz real Gs move in silence like lasagna. 🍲

Now that the SEC is in full crackdown mode, what are they gonna do? Run away? We don’t know. 🤣

Doodhwala’s take: No denying that panic is the order of the hour. But always remember folks, where there is panic, there is always opportunity.

🤯 Gary Genslar’s Hypocrisy

Gary Gensler.

The not-so-beloved chairman of the SEC.

All my man’s been saying nowadays is → "You broke U.S. securities laws!".

Once a blockchain advocate, now he's gone all anti-crypto on us! 💼💥

But hey, let's not forget all the priceless moments he's given us:

👉 Calling stablecoins "poker chips"? 🎲

👉 His epic roast of the crypto industry? 🐦🔥

👉 Getting grilled while answering whether ETH’s a commodity or a security? 🏦

Or the CLAIM that we don't need more digital currencies? 💰

But wasn't he, a while ago, teaching courses on digital currency at MIT? 🎓

Guess what, he totally was!

And he was even consulting with MIT's Digital Currency Initiative. Hmmm. 🤔

Back in 2019, in an article, he sounded like a crypto fanboy, gushing about its potential for change and lower costs. 👇

Fast forward to his nomination speech before Congress in March 2021, Gensler was still praising the transformative role of fintech. 🎙️ 🙌

He even said, "Our rules have to change along with them."

All good so far.

But then, something happened. 🌩️

In 2021, as the new SEC chair, Gensler's tone soured faster than milk left out in the sun. 🥴

Turns out, Gary believes that

• The US dollar is enough as a digital currency 🤷‍♂️

• And the public doesn't need more than one way to move value 💁‍♂️

Suddenly, we don't need more digital currencies because we already have one,

I mean, should we remind him that he was one of us just a couple of years ago? 🧐

Currently, what he’s stuck on is that:

👉 most cryptocurrencies fit the definition of securities

👉 and thus, exchanges need to register with the SEC. 📋

The worst part? He says that the crypto industry ALWAYS had clarity about it.

Dude, if there was clarity, we wouldn't be having this conversation! 🙄 

Though one question remains unanswered → What caused the sudden mindset shift in him?

Did he realize the complexities of the crypto realm? Or was he shaken by FTX's collapse? 🤔

Only he knows.

Doodhwala’s Take:

Now, all that being said, we agree that crypto needs some form of regulation for our own protection against fraud and manipulation. 👮‍♂️

But, Gary, don't forget that the goal here is to promote financial inclusion, not to stifle innovation. 💪

📈 Cheese and Charts: Profitable wen?

How much money you makin bruh? 🤑

Depending on whom this question is asked – the answer would differ.

👉 ETH Layer 2 Solutions? - A ton of 💰.

👉 The Doodhwala? About a million. (I asked my dad to give me $999,990 and I made the remaining $10 delivering milk nearby)

Between July 2022 to April 2023 – Ethereum’s Layer 2 scaling solution (Arbitrum, Optimism, zkSync Era, etc.) grew their profits by 7x.

Then in May 2023, profits fell by 40%. 🤡

3 key data points here:

1️⃣ The combined profit was still > 1k ETH.

2️⃣ Optimism didn’t have a huge fall in profits, just a 5% drop.

3️⃣ Arbitrum saw a big fall of 60% in profits from 1281 ETH in April to → 505 ETH in May.

Is the profit-making trend finally broken? How long will this last? Hit reply and let us know your thoughts! 👇

🛠 Resourcewala: A Deep Dive Into GameFi

The word "GameFi" has been floating around in crypto circles, causing quite a buzz among gaming and DeFi enthusiasts.

But WTF is GameFi anyway? 🤔

Well, grab your popcorn (or doodh) and tighten your seatbelts as we plunge into this wild ride! 🎢

In today's resource, we dish out on:

• What the heck is GameFi?

• How does GameFi work?

• DeFi’s relation with GameFi

LFG! 🔥🔥🔥

🥛 Doodhshots: Kardashian Crypto Suit

• 👜 LV's Locked Luxury: Louis Vuitton drops $41K NFTs with a catch - they can't be resold! Virtual vanity, anyone?

• 📈 FTX's Anthropic Ambition: Amid an AI surge, FTX eyes selling shares in Anthropic. Smart money on smart tech?

• 📉 Wood's Wild Bet: Cathie Wood's ARK snaps up a cool $21.6M in Coinbase shares, undeterred by plummeting COIN prices amidst SEC Suit. Bold bet or bull-headed?

• ⏱️ Ticking Clock: US Court slaps the SEC with a week-long deadline to respond to Coinbase's rulemaking petition. Clock's ticking, SEC!

• 👠 Kardashian's Legal Runway: Kim Kardashian's Ethereum MAX suit is greenlit to proceed as court considers an updated complaint. Keeping up with crypto, Kim?

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram.

That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.

Today’s edition was brought to you by Ritik Gupta and Sumanth

Edited by: Arvind Krishna and Aakash Athawasya