👀 The $48 million per year crypto business

Namaskara, this is the doodhwala, the ONLY crypto newsletter that bets $1 MILLION on YOU! ❤️

YOU > BTC. ALL day. EVERY day. 🥛

Here’s the breakdown for today:

• 👀 How much will $ARB be?

• 💰 Crypto Rehab As A Service

• 📈 Final word: Optimism vs Arbitrum

• 🛠 We teach you how to DISCORD

• 🍼 THE Best-Performing Asset!

Bitcoin is 🚀 since Balaji’s BET. LFG 🔥

👀 How much will $ARB be?

Everyone loves to predict the price of a crypto. 🤩

From Youtube influencers with cringe thumbnail pictures to smart AF CTOs like Balaji Srinivasan.

Today, we’re doing the same thing as ☝️.

We’re tryna guess the price of → $ARB, the native token of Arbitrum, a layer-2 scaling solution for the Ethereum blockchain.

Last week:

🪂 Arbitrum announced its airdrop

💰 Allocating 1.2 billion tokens

🗓️ And the drop is on March 23

🔥 LFG

So, how much will it be worth?

We looked through a buncha reports [tweets + reels] and $ARB will likely be priced between:

$0.6 to $1.4 per token.

But how tf does ☝️ this range make sense?! And how do the price of these tokens work?!

Let’s find out using 3 kinds of analysis:

1️⃣ Competitor analysis

2️⃣ Value analysis

3️⃣ Trading analysis

Competitor → 🔴 Vs Optimism

Arbitrum is NOT the first layer 2 rollup to announce an airdrop.

P A U S E.

What’s a layer 2 rollup?

In June 2022, Optimism (the other layer-2) announced its airdrop.

Here are its stats rn for Optimsim:

💰 Price → $2.5

🏦 Market cap → $800 million

📈 Circulating supply → 314 million (supply of tokens in the market rn)

📊 Total supply → 4.2 billion (supply of tokens in the market eventually)

⚖️ % of supply in the market → 7.3%

Here are its stats rn for Arbitrum:

💰 Price → ???

🏦 Market cap → ???

📈 Circulating supply → 1.2 billion (supply of tokens in the market rn)

📊 Total supply → 10 billion (supply of tokens in the market eventually)

⚖️ % of supply in the market → 12.7%

But will Arbitrum = Optimism.

Hell nahhh!

Sidenote: If you wanna know about the token distribution diff between Optimsims and Arbitrum, check out Chaach and Charts. 👇

Value →👌 Vs TVL

Arbitrum ≠ Optimsim

Both Arbitrum and Optimism have 1 function → Process transactions for the protocols building on the blockchains.

These protocols take in crypto as funds from users.

For financial stuff like:

• lending and borrowing for loans

• staking and liquidity pools

• deposits to earn interest

• drinking doodh

You know, the usual 💁🏼‍♀️

All of this ☝️ is calcuated under → TVL.

P A U S E

Tf is TVL?

Think of TVL as the Assets Under Management (AuM) of a crypto protocol.

TVL right now:

🥇 Arbitrum: $1.8 billion

🥈 Optimsim: $0.97 billion

👑 Ethereum: $29 billion

So → Arbitrum has almost twice the TVL of Optimism.

So → Based on TVL ARB can be 2x of op.

Trading → 🤦‍♂️ By Leverage

Since Arbitrum announced its token airdrop a bunch of exchanges launched IOU contracts for $ARB.

I O U → I Owe You 🤣

On exchanges like Hotbit ARB is trading for:

• $9.7 per coin.

• with 2 million in trading volume

• implying a $12.3 billion market cap

💀

But these are just random traders + making random trades + at random prices.

They’re treating $ARB as a shitcoin and:

• pumping it up

• eventually dumping it down

Doodhwala’s take:

After spending hours and hours looking at these reports here’s what we think of ARB’s price → Jk, we don’t talk about whether the price is good or not at the doodhwala, only if it's milky. 🤣

So, just go enjoy free airdrop money you filthy animals.

And stop worrying about the price. 🤷‍♂️

🔥 Together with Web3 Init: What comes first in Web3?

Security is a pretty PRETTAAAY big deal in web3.

I mean, you don’t want your private keys to be exposed…or worse your browser history. 😆

• “how to make milk from oats”

• “why don’t vegans drink milk”

• “best date places for doodh lovers.”

Wait how did my browser history ☝️ get out? 😭

That’s why we need Web3 projects that focus on security. And we know just where to look for these kinda apps.

At the Web3 Init Hackathon.

After all, this hackathon is organised by UNSNARL + ClueLess!

🛠️ UNSNARL → A web3 security startup backed by Polygon and ETH India.

👥 ClueLess → A student-driven dev community focusing on open-source tech.

💰 Prize pool: $6000+

🤝 Mentorship from experts

🗓️ Registration closes March 25

Register here.

💰 Crypto Rehab As A Service

Guys, this is SERIOUS advice —

Next time you have a drunk business idea…WRITE IT DOWN! 📝

Better yet, do it The Hangover style → get it tattooed.

Believe me, you don’t want to miss out like we just did. 🥲

What happened? 🤨

A couple of months back, the doodhwala bois, while being a little too drunk on doodh came up with a business idea in between the burps.

The idea 👇

❤️ Therapy for crypto bros and addicts. ❤️

But we brushed it aside thinking who tf is even addicted to crypto [in a bad way]?!?

And now we find out that a lot of RICH crypto bros, unfortunately, are.

And there are crypto rehab centres where people pay $320k for a 4-week stay.

And and ~150 people go here every year!

These centres make $48 MILLION per year. 🤯

So let’s take a look at a few of these rehab centres.

We’ll do it location wise.

🇬🇧 UK and Spain 🇪🇸

The two countries with POLAR opposite food tastes despite only being 2 hours apart by air.

📝 Name: The Balance, a luxury crypto rehab centre

💰 Cost: $192k – 320k for 4 weeks

🏘 Amenities:

• Private chefs 😅

• Private nutritionists 🥲

• Private beachside villas 😭

🖼 The View:

🇹🇭 Phuket, Thailand

The country that surprises and confuses you at the same time. YOU know what we mean.

📝 Name: The Diamond (what are these names?!?!)

💰 Cost: $25,000 for 28 days

🏘 Amenities:

• Private golf course 😅

• Boat trips and sports 🥲

• Private mountaintop villas 😭

🖼 The View:

🇨🇭 Switzerland

The country where the national pastime is staying neutral.

📝 Name: Paracelsus Recovery (the first name that doesn’t sound like a resort)

💰 Cost: $400k for 4 weeks

🏘 Amenities:

• VR gaming consoles 😅

• Private chef and maid 🥲

• Private lakefront properties 😢

• Dedicated Bentley Limousines 😭

🖼 The View:

All of these places look so damn good that it’s making me jealous. 😭

It’s understandable. Crypto can be addictive.

What with all the —

• dopamine hits in the bull run

• HUGE losses during the bear market

• crazy, obnoxious, blood-curdling images of mutant apes, dogs and dick-butts

One’s mental state can explode like a Lakshmi Bomb on Diwali. 💥

But these prices are just TOO DAMN CRAZY! 🤯

It almost feels like they are taking advantage of the fact that some crypto bros are RICH af and also in a vulnerable mental state. Hmmm, I wonder…🤔

Then again, if you are really rich, you would want this place.

And not some $500-weekend “rehab” centre that’s a school on the weekdays. 🤷‍♂️

What do y’all think?

📈 Chaach and Charts: 🔴 Optimism vs Arbitrum 🔵

Rivalries are great. It always brings the best out of each individual.

Think about the greatest rivalries of all time:

• Cristiano Ronaldo vs Lionel Messi ⚽️

• India vs Pakistan 🏏

• Doodh vs Paani 🥛 (who even drinks paani. ew)

And when it comes to Ethereum Layer 2s…

…it’s mainly 🔴 Optimism vs Arbitrum 🔵

Both launched at around the same time. But:

🗓 Optimism dropped its native $OP token in → June 2022.

🗓 Arbitrum is dropping its native $ARB token on → March 2023.

But let’s look at their token distribution 👇

Token Airdrop: 🔵 12% 🔴 19%

Core Team: 🔵 27% 🔴 19%

Investors: 🔵 17% 🔴 17%

DAO: 🔵 43% 🔴 19%

While one allocated a significantly higher token % for its community through DAOs, the other has allocated it through RPGF (Retroactively Public Goods funding) and DAO treasury.

Both support community initiatives but which one do you think is better?

(REPLY and let us know 👇)

🛠 Resourcewala: We teach you how to DISCORD

Every industry has it’s preferred social media platform.

For big companies → It’s Microsoft Teams 🤢

For tech startups → It’s Slack 😒

For crypto → It’s Discord 🤩

Discord is the place where most crypto + NFT projects = community + build their communities and even hire people.

Even your doodhwala uses Discord. 🤙

But Discord is filled with:

• scammers getting in your DMs

• sooo mannny groups + servers

• complicated stuff like Nitros

So, let’s simplify this for you in today’s Resourcewala from our man Zeneca.

🍼 Doodhshots: The Best-Performing Asset

• 🔥 Locked and Loaded: Arbitrum's ARB governance token is coming to Binance and Bitmex with major trading pairs and up to 20x leverage trading as soon as it launches on March 23.

• 🏁 Get in Line! 80 foreign and Mainland China companies have expressed their interest in establishing a Web3 company in Hong Kong, as crypto regulation is set to kick in from June.

• 🙌 Taking Over: Tron has emerged as the second largest DeFi chain in terms of TVL, as Binance Smart Chain drops to a 24-month low. Ethereum is still the top dawg.

• 🐶 SHIB Moves: $270 million worth of SHIB moved from a major exchange to now the fourth largest Shiba Inu holder. What's the big deal? Or THIS IS A BIG DEAL!?

• 🏆 Best Of All Time! Bitcoin has gained as much as 51% in year-to-date absolute returns, making it the Best-Performing Asset Year-to-Date according to Goldman Sachs. Surprise. Surprise

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter, our LinkedIn, and our Instagram.

That’s all for today bhaiyo aur bheno! Naale Sigona! Aakash "Dahi Cheeni" Athawasya & Arvind "Doodh Peda" Krishna

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.