🤬 Why Selective Outrage For Crypto Is Wrong

Gm, this is the doodhwala, the only crypto newsletter that gives you the feeling of a warm afternoon and a rainy evening. 🤌

Here’s what we got for you today:

• 🤬 Leave Us: Why Selective Outrage For Crypto Is Wrong

• 📜 Bankman’s Bankruptcy: Sam's OOPSIE With Binance

• 📈 Cheese and Charts: Stars Arena Bounces Back

• 🛠️ Resourcewala: Fruit Vendors & Market Makers

• 🍼 Doodhshots: Bitcoin To $56,000?

🤨 Leave Crypto Alone: Why Selective Outrage For Crypto Is Wrong

Crypto.

The most controversial thing after Dan Bilzerian’s lifestyle.

But the only difference between these two is one is real and one is not.

I mean what’s the meaning of all this money if you don’t show off any doodh in those snaps and insta stories.

Where’s the DOODH?1?!🥛👇

So now coming to the real deal: CRYPTO.

Chainalysis, a big-shot crypto analytics firm, just dropped some truth bombs about crypto. 💣

You know how people blame crypto for every bad thing happening in this world.

One of them is terrorism financing. 🧐

But guess what? Things might not be as they seem!

After the Israel incident, there were whispers that crypto was used in a bad way by the terrorists. 😟

But Chainalysis stepped in and defended crypto like a really good lawyer.

Chainalysis says, “It's not all black and white.”

Bad people might use crypto, but they also use regular money and other sneaky ways to get funds. 🤷‍♂️

And here’s where it gets spicy:

Some big people, including Senator Elizabeth Warren, are all, “This crypto thing is shady!” citing reports and wanting a full-blown investigation. 🕵️‍♀️

But let's not jump to conclusions.

Tho my ex jumped on one and dumped my a**.💔

Here's the breakdown:

1. Finding out if terrorists use crypto is super hard. 🤯

2. Just because some money looks suspicious doesn't mean it's all bad.

3. Like, out of $82 million raised in Israel, maybe only a tiny bit is used for wrong purposes. 🤑

The real shocker? Chainalysis believes only around $450,000 of that sketchy cash is actually tied to the bad guys.

That’s barely a half a percent!

And it’s not just about the money; it’s about the middlemen who help in moving it.

THEY need to be stopped.

Doodhwala’s Take:

Everything can be used for bad purposes (everything but doodh) but that doesn’t mean we ban all of it.

Still cash is the most favourite among drug dealers but it isn’t getting banned.

In fact, US is printing it like crazy (that’s for another day tho). 🏦

Basically, crypto's cool, but like everything else, it's got its dark side.

📜 Bankman’s Bankruptcy: Sam’s OOPSIE With Binance

You’re reading Bankman's Bankruptcy, a new section keeping you updated on one of the biggest shit-shows of the 21st century, doodhwala style!

The Sam-Bankman trials continue my doodh! 🥛

And it just gets BETTER and BETTER every day.🤭

Well, not for the billions of dollars lost or the thousands of lives impacted. ❌

But rather for all the raw data we get to see behind the scenes of everything that led to the collapse of FTX and Alameda.📉

And what was revealed in court last night?

The truth about how Binance got to exit liquidity from FTX. 😮

I mean come on? We know what the courts are sayin’.

But the ground reality would’ve probably been a drunk fight between the both of them! 👊

🔎 Revelation 1: How FTX did a buyback with Binance

Remember when CZ decided that he wanted to show Sam how HELL would feel like?

For a quick flashback, here’s the tweet that started the FTX spiral towards collapse. 🌀

Well, guess what?

That $2.1 Billion (of which the FTT is already worthless)—

Was paid out using customer funds. 🤯🤯🤯

All of this came out when someone special came in to testify last night. (More on this person ahead)

Over a billion dollars in the payout came from customer funds!

This begs the question— Does CZ have blood on his hands? 🩸

Coz in a way, his firm got paid out from the whole shitshow—

But at the expense of another’s demise. 🤔

Well, our take?

Ain’t nobody making a moral decision when one side is doing multiple levels of fraud. 🤷‍♂️

Here’s what the testifier revealed in court. 👇

🔎 Revelation 2: Peter Easton did a EXPOSE

Say hello to Peter Easton, part-time Expert college professor—

Full-time “I’m tired of FTX, Sam and his Orgies” kinda statement provider. 🥴

Peter is an absolute cow milk drinkin chad accounting professor from the University of Notre Dame—

Specially hired to EXPOSE the books of both Alameda and FTX.

The Binance payouts?

Peter just took a sip of that sweet milk and figured out that it was paid using customer funds. 😮🥛

Not just that, Peter revealed where exactly FTX and Sam had been spending customer funds at.

All the way from—

• Donating to Political Campaigns

• Reinvesting into Real Estate and Businesses

• Doing giveaways to charities

And a lotta other crap! Using CUSTOMER deposits. 😡

And the defense?

They were sipping on their weird-ass oat milk along with a vegan salad and were quiet the whole time. 🤣

You can’t mess with the David Goggins of Finance without having your facts straight.

Better know yo shit before you come at Peter Easton, son! 😎 

📈 Cheese and Charts: Stars Arena’s Unexpected Comeback

Remember the chaos when Stars Arena had a $3 million hack?

Yeah, that exploit that had us all facepalming. 🤦‍♂️ (be honest if you knew this term)

Well, we thought that was the end of Stars Arena, it isn’t.

Instead of doing the whole "I'm outta here" thing, liquidity's been sticking around like that one friend who never leaves in a fight.

And let me tell you if you ever need us, we’re just one call away.

Doodhwala ✅

Doodhman ✅

The numbers? They're kinda wild:

• Inflows? 3x the outflows. 📈

So what do you think?

Is Stars Arena the future of SocialFi? Or you love Friend Tech more?

Thoughts? Feelings? Late-night snack cravings?

REPLY and let us know👇

🛠 Resourcewala: Know Your Fruit Vendors

Okay, y'all.

Ever thought of your local fruit vendor when trading stocks or crypto? 🍎=💰 Weird comparison, right?

Market makers. They're not your momma's grocery sellers, but they sure do "stock" the market.

In the financial world, these folks are like the fruit vendors – ensuring there's always a buyer and a seller.

And ensuring YOU don’t wait forever when you want to sell those juicy stocks or buy that fresh crypto. 😜

Today's resource is all about:

1. Why is the fruit vendor your go-to guy in understanding market dynamics? 🍉

2. The fruity connection between market makers & your daily apple purchase.

3. Squeezing the most out of market makers - for newbies & pros. 💦

Plus: Going deep into the core strategies. 🍍

READ TIME: Quicker than peeling a banana. 🍌

LFG! 🚀

🍼 Doodhshots: Bitcoin To $56,000?

• 🪨 Blackrock Amends: BlackRock is amending their Bitcoin ETF filing with the SEC. They're using cheat codes at this point.

• 🔀 Mixers Are What?: The US treasury is planning to rename crypto mixers as ‘Money Laundering Concerns’. What we gonna call congress then?

• 😮‍💨 Legal Nightmare: Do Kwon is stuck in a legal nightmare after Jump Trading’s profit during Terra’s collapse gets highlighted. Dude always seems to get things stuck in places.

• 📈 BTC >$56,000? : Matrixport predicted that Bitcoin can go above $56,000 if BlackRock ETF gets approved. Bro said what now?

• 💥 Atomic Steps: Atomic Wallet just froze $2 million in suspicious deposits on various exchanges. They ain't taking risks this time.

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram.

That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.

Today’s edition was brought to you by Ritik Gupta and Sumanth

Edited by: Arvind Krishna and Aakash Athawasya