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🇮🇳 Coinbase Exits India

🇮🇳 Coinbase Exits India

PLUS: FTX Is Getting Money Back?

Gm, this is doodhwala, the only crypto newsletter that’s like the Timon to your Pumba!

Together it’s always Hakuna Matata ☮️

Here’s what we got for you today:

🇮🇳 Coinbase Did What? : Coinbase Is Shutting Down User Accounts
⚖️ FTX Sues: FTX Is Suing People To Recover Money Now
📈 Cheese and Charts: Friend Tech Is Making Money
🛠️ Resourcewala: WTF is Trustless Computation?
🍼 Doodhshots: FTX Debt Piles Up

🤔 Coinbase Re-thinking India?

So the Bald Bois at Coinbase — Are possibly rethinking their presence with Desi A2 milk drinkers in India. 🐄🥛

That’s right!

Coinbase just suspended a bunch of Indian accounts and has stopped new signups at the moment.

What in the FUD amirite? 😠

Why did they do this? And do we think that they have plans to exit India?

Time to understand their Desi Indian strategy! 🇮🇳

1️⃣ An Email with a Message.

Coinbase pulled the brakes on India via an email to its users.

Well, not all users — But a select group of people who were apparently “breaching the exchange’s standards” 🧐

What standards bro? 💀

Not only that, these users were reassured that they would be able to use their Coinbase wallet to withdraw the remaining funds by September 25th. 🗓️

But the fact that they were sent an email like Liam Neeson from Taken saying they were breaching standards was messed up.

Now that's some pro-level FUD right there. 😮‍💨

2️⃣ Coinbase kinda-sorta failed in India.

Well TBH, Coinbase kinda never worked in India. 👎

A lot of other exchanges like Binance, Kucoin, and even ByBit — Have a much better presence in India than Coinbase. 💯

Even during their launch in June of 2022, and in just 4 days of their launch —the exchange was under major regulatory pressure from the India government to de-link UPI-based purchases on the platform.

And bald boi Brian?

He blames the central government's pressure for their failure, but he is still very optimistic about the India story. 🇮🇳

Well, aren’t we all?

3️⃣ UPI killed all hopes for Coinbase.

If there is one major reason why Coinbase didn’t exactly work in India, it’s probably because of one thing that we’re leading —

UPI.

Unified Payments of India’s online payment gateway has been so well adopted that everyone from your local chaiwala to the fanciest Louis Vuitton store has it well integrated. 😮

And so when Coinbase tried to offer their products like

Stablecoin Payments
Crypto-based store integrations
Doodh coin payments

…in a market where people had already moved digital, it was kinda like they set themselves up for failure.

Will they still survive?

We don’t know. 🤷‍♂️

But based on their Liam Neeson emails and weird strategies—

Kinda seems like that train has passed for now. 😉

✊ Crypto Is Not Dead! We’ll Show You

Is crypto dead? 😭

Uhhh despite what your uncle tells you on WhatsApp, it isn’t. It’s very much alive.

Don’t believe us? 🤔

Head on over to – Unfold 2023 by CoinDCX – to find out more.

Unfold 2023 is India’s biggest crypto event. But it’s not like every other networking (read:boring) event.

It’s has:

🔥 A hackathon with $100K+ in bounty rewards

🔥 A fire speaker panel of top Web3 founders

🔥 The one…the…only…the doodhwala

Hurry now, rewards end in 48 hours, takes 4 seconds to register.

Here are the details:

🗓️ October 19 to 20

📍 KTPO, Whitefield, Bangalore

⏱️ Takes < 5 seconds to register

FTX Is Suing Who?

FTX.

The bankrupt crypto exchange.

I know I know what you’re thinking - “not again”.

So lemme tell you it’s not about someone suing FTX again.

But this time it’s FTX who’s suing. 👀

Who? LayerZero Labs (a cross-chain protocol).

Why? Cuz it owes a lot of money to FTX (at least this is what FTX says).

The amount? → $21 million. 💰

After its collapse, FTX’s been on a suing spree asking for companies to return their money.

Here's the full story:

FTX and LayerZero Labs had some deals going on. 🤝

From January to May 2022, Alameda Ventures (the venture capital arm of Alameda Research, FTX’s sister company) threw in LayerZero over $70 million to own its 4.92%.

But that's not all!

In March 2022, they spent another $25 million to buy 100 million STG tokens.

These tokens were going to be distributed over six months, starting in March 2023. 📆

Here’s the twist:

In February 2023, LayerZero offered to lend $45 million to Alameda Research.

And the interest? A solid 8% every year.

A lot more than my girlfriend has in me. 💔

But when FTX started having problems, LayerZero wanted their shares back.

They made a deal to return the shares and forget about the loan.

And there was also a deal about the STG tokens, but guess what? It didn't happen. 😅

Now, FTX is saying that LayerZero took advantage of Alameda Ventures when they were short on cash.

They're basically saying, "You knew we were in trouble, and you still tried to get more from us!" 😠

And now FTX wants their money back.

They're asking for:

$21.37 million from LayerZero Labs
$13.07 million from a guy named Ari Litan
$6.65 million from another company, Skip & Goose 🦢

LayerZero Labs isn't the only one in FTX's crosshairs.

FTX is on a mission, trying to get back billions from various companies before its big collapse. 🔍

Doodhwala’s Take:

If FTX and LayerZero were doodhwalas, FTX be like, "Bro, you owe me 21 liters of milk!"🥛

But jokes aside, if SBF wasn’t as greedy as he was, these things would’ve never happened.

📈 Cheese and Charts: Friend Tech’s Crazy Money

Ever heard of "Money Talks"?

Well, Friend Tech's revenue is screaming! 📣

Just like my ex used to scream at me whenever I asked her for it. IFKYK.

So Friend Tech recorded its highest 30d revenue of $5.6 million.

Cash Flow? More like Cash Flood.

If it goes at this pace, it might make around $68 million in a year!

Let’s suppose it reaches this stage☝️

Then it would put Friend Tech as 4th largest revenue-generating protocol after

Ethereum
Tron
dYdX

But, you know, things change.

Will Friend Tech keep doing well? Who knows? 🤷

What do you think?

(REPLY and let us know👇)

Source: Token Terminal

🛠 Resourcewala: Breaking Down Trustless Computation!

So, everyone's whispering about trustless computation.

You've probably caught wind, seen the tweets, or felt the ripples in your web3 convo.

But hey, you might be wondering... what's the big deal about it? 🤨

In today's resource, we cover:

Why "trustless" isn't as scary as it sounds 🙌
The top models making this computational magic happen ✨
How you, yes YOU, can ride this wave to the future 🌊

LFG🔥🔥🔥

🍼 Doodhshots: FTX Debt piles up

🥿 Hello Flatcoins: Coinbase CEO Brian says the next iteration in stablecoins will be flatcoins - pegged to the cost of living. No way ANYone would have a problem with that innit?
💰 FTX’s Debt: FTX has about $4.9 billion in debt to in Real Estate and over 1300 tokens, with only 10% settled so far. Bro’s about to YEET the market with all that selling!
🤡 Stupid Trade: Some dude just paid half a million dollars in fees to move $200 worth of Bitcoin. That’s some elite-level clown behavior.
💎 Vitalik’s Hack: Ethereum founder Vitalik’s X account got hacked, leading to over $690,000 in total for him. Man’s got some balls to steal from Vitalik!
🖼️ New Framework: After the G20 summit, there was an introduction to an international crypto framework submitted by India. Desi force LFGG!!

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

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That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.