🍕 Bitcoin Pizza Day is a lie.

Gm, this is the doodhwala, the only crypto newsletter that gives you the same feeling of a free pizza because the delivery guy came in 31 minutes. 🍕

Here’s what’s happening today:

• 🥊 Who’s winning: BTC jpegs or Pizzas?

• ⚖️ DOJ begins Crypto Crackdown

• 📈 Bitcoin 'Wholecoiners' Hit a Million!

• 🛠️ Launchpads, the Crypto Gold Rush

• 🍼 Dude, Where’s my Passport?

What do we like?! 👀

JPEG 🍕 vs Pizza 🖼️

Bitcoin and Pizza. They go a long way back.

There’s even a day to celebrate it.

👉 The infamous Bitcoin Pizza Day 👈

A dude paid 10,000 Bitcoin for a couple of pizzas? Today you can buy the whole Pizza Hut with that money.

On May 22, 2010, Laszlo Hanyecz made the first-ever real-world transaction using Bitcoin.

His purchase? Two Papa John's pizzas. 🍕

The price? 10,000 Bitcoins!

Back then, Bitcoin was worth less than your fav Dosa (I’m talking about the good ol Benne Masala Dosa).

So, 10,000 Bitcoins were roughly about ~$41.

Fast forward to today ⏩

Those Bitcoins are worth around → $270M (just in case you’re busy watching re-runs of Game of Thrones Season 4).

That’s why, Bitcoin enthusiasts around the world celebrate Bitcoin Pizza Day on May 22. It's a reminder of how BTC can be used for payments. 🤙

There's a new claim for Bitcoin Pizza Day in town 👇

A JPEG sale happened even before that Pizza one!

Hold up.

JPEG, as in, the image format? Yes, exactly that.

A developer named – Udi Wertheimer – threw a googly (that’s a cricket term for all our 🇺🇸 friends) on Twitter. 🐦

He claimed that the 1st real-world Bitcoin purchase was not for pizza, but a JPEG!

His proof? 🔎

A screenshot from the Bitcointalk forum dated Jan 24, 2010.

That's ☝️ 4 months before the 10,000 BTC paid for 2 pizzas.

In the screenshot, a user named Sabunir is trying to sell a picture for 500 Bitcoin.

And guess who might’ve been involved in the sale?

None other than Satoshi Nakamoto, our very own Bitcoin-wala and an avid reader of the doodhwala! 🕵️‍♂️

Of course, the claim was met with a healthy dose of skepticism (like when someone says oat milk tastes like cow milk)! 🧐

A poker player turned crypto investor, Mike McDonald, pointed out that the 500 BTC might have been a donation.

So, the JPEG might not have been "sold" exactly.

Even Wertheimer admitted his tweet might have been off the mark. 😅

Without Sabunir's confirmation, it's a mystery why the 500 BTC were transferred. 🕵️‍♀️

Just like when you argue over whether the doodhwala diluted the milk or not. 🥛🤔

Doodhwala's Take:

How much do you regret buying that overpriced popcorn at the movies?

Now imagine being the guy who bought a pizza for $270 million. But hey, no use crying over spilled doodh, right? 🥛

⚖️ DOJ begins Crypto Crackdown

The United States Department of Justice or DOJ. 🧑‍⚖️

Known for their…err…lightning-fast efficiency skills and justice.

They live by this principle 👇

On Monday, the DOJ’s Crypto Enforcement Director Eun Young Choi promised that the department will crackdown on illicit behavior on crypto exchanges. 📊

Ah shit, here we go again! 🤦

Let’s answer 3 questions:

👉 What’s happening?

👉 What are exchanges gonna do?

👉 Where do exchanges go now?

1️⃣ What the hell is happenin’ with US regulators?

It all began with the SEC getting behind exchanges to create stricter crypto regulation. 🚫

The SEC started their job after the collapse of FTX. 📉

(not after Luna, or Celsius, or Voyager, or BlockFi…you get the point!) 

…the SEC said, “Aight, it’s time to go check things out eh?”

Since then, it has just been a series of regulations that are making it difficult for exchanges to work in the US. 🇺🇸

SEC has targeted:

• Coinbase

• Kraken

• Bittrex

• Genesis with enforcement actions, settlements, and investigations in the last few months! 🗓️

The DOJ will now be targeting exchanges as they help “criminals” who have been “laundering money” 💰

Why does the DOJ think crypto exchanges help criminals?

👉 Help launder money

👉 Approve unverified KYC holders

👉 Do not engage in Risk mitigation and thorough compliance

2️⃣ What are exchanges gonna do now? 🔁

It’s not like they’ve got a ton of choices to begin with. 👎

Anyone who chooses to comply with the rules of the SEC & DOJ may continue operations. ⏯️

When we say comply…we mean bend down to the strict bashing and rules of the entities in control. 🚨

This is how exchanges are expected to behave 👇

Exchanges like Coinbase + Kraken are exploring places outside of the US to set up their HQs. 🏢

And rn, there are a ton of advantages to shifting outside of the US, ➡️

We’ve seen this with FTX’s move to the Bahamas. 🏖️

(it wasn’t just for the beaches and orgy-infested houses lol)

However, this isn’t probably the best way to build trust in your exchange. ❌

It’s like asking someone to drink oat milk when they know it tastes bad. 🤢 (why tf do people drink that anyway?)

3️⃣ Where are exchanges heading to? 🗺️

Based on current data, we know that Coinbase is 👀-ing Bermuda.

🇧🇲 Bermuda looks like it could be the next → Bahamas, considering its friendly digital asset framework. 🌐

🇦🇪 Dubai and Abu Dhabi are well-established hotspots that encourage crypto innovation.🔺

🇧🇸 Although the Bahamas were considered a great solution when considering regulations, The Bahamian Authorities are maintaining tight rules after FTX 📉

Doodhwala’s take:

We don’t know 💩 about regulations.

But we know what a crypto exchange should look for when picking its next HQ.

It should have – “only cow milk” and a “no-oat milk” policy! 🐄

📈 Cheese and Charts: Bitcoin 'Wholecoiners' Hit a Million!

Bitcoin.

The crypto that once bought a pizza now buys a penthouse, just hit its most delicious milestone yet.

And you know we love milestones, right?

Bitcoin ‘wholecoiners’ have been on the rise like people at any Hacker House (you know, for that cool merch). 👕

But wait, what's a wholecoiner? 🤔

A wholecoiner is a person (or entity) holding a whole 1 BTC in their wallet. And now we’ve got over a million wholecoiners.

🗓️ May 13th, 2023: 1 million wallet addresses holding 1 BTC or more 📈

What's up with the sudden surge in "wholecoiners"?

Well, let's take a step back. 🐾

Bitcoin's most significant boost in wholecoiners coincided with some...uhh...challenging market moments.

🗓️ June → the crypto market crashed.

🗓️ November → FTX collapsed.

These ☝️ events saw a rush of new wholecoiners. 📈

Protip: But hold on, is one Bitcoin address always one person? 🤔

Nope.

Many crypto investors juggle multiple Bitcoin addresses and don't forget the institutional investors who typically own large sums of Bitcoin like:

• Exchanges

• Investment firms

• Governments (including those who don’t believe in Bitcoin 😉)

Check out the massive increase in wholecoiners 👇

🛠 Resourcewala: Launchpads, the Crypto Gold Rush

Crypto launchpads are like the Santa Claus of the crypto world. 🎅

Why?

Cuz they bring you the shiny new tokens, all wrapped in safety protocols and trust. No more betting on sketchy projects hoping they aren't scams. 🙅‍♂️

But Should you really invest in a launchpad? Or is it just another hype train? 🚂

Today's resource is your launchpad map.

• What are crypto launchpads?

• Why launchpads could be your next big move!

• What are the risks?

PLUS: 5 Key metrics to watch before you jump in 🧐

🍼 Doodhshots: Where’s my Passport?

• 📉 BlockFi Sales: BlockFi couldn’t sell their lending business, so they’re liquidating it. Tough to find a buyer for bankruptcy eh?

• 🥊 Political Punch: Upbit and Bithumb, South Korean exchanges raided raising political scandal. Crypto & Politics - the perfect combo.

• 🛃 Pass-Port Kwon: Do Kwon paid almost half a million for bail involving fake passports in Montenegro. Terra-ible decision we say!

• 💧 Liquid Removing: Liquid staking platform Lido has passed a vote to activate withdrawals. Staking time or removin time?

• 🌎 Worldcoin Funding: Sam Altman backed Worldcoin raises $100 million. Eye-ballin crypto from now!

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

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That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.

Today’s edition was brought to you by Ritik Gupta and Sumanth

Edited by: Arvind Krishna and Aakash Athawasya