📈 BitBoy Gets Arrested For...

Gm this is the doodhwala. The crypto newsletter that's like the salsa to your nachos.

Spicy, tangy, and always leaves you wanting more! 🌶️

Here’s what we got for you today:

• 💰 Big Boy Growth: Crypto To $650 Billion?!?

• 👮 Bitboy Arrested: Arrested On Livestream

• 📈 Cheese and Charts: Another New Volume Low

• 🛠️ Resourcewala: Decentralized Youtube??

• 🍼 Doodhshots: The Cartel Is Coming For Crypto

🚀 Crypto’s $650 Billion Evolution

The crypto space is about to get a WHOLE lot bigger.

And no, we're not talking about a new meme coin. It’s also not about another Bitcoin ETF application (sadly). 🟠

No No No, Doodhwala is not launching DoodhCoin (not yet).🥛

And by DoodhCoin we don’t mean this👇

Then wtf is it?

The crypto industry can transform from a ‘cottage industry’ to a huge, formal, and regulated asset management industry! 🌐

But wait… what’s this ‘cottage industry’? 🤔

It’s just a way to say a business that’s – small, informal, and doesn’t follow the official rules. 😬

Right now, only $50 billion worth of crypto funds are being managed. And the total market cap of crypto is a giant $1.08 trillion.

That’s just 4%. 📊

But this number could change to 52%.

Yup, you read that right.

According to a report, crypto funds under management can reach a whopping $650 billion within the next 5 years! 🚀

Cool Stuff in this report:

1. People are thinking that if the U.S. starts allowing spot Bitcoin exchange-traded funds (ETFs), it’s going to bring more money to the market. 🇺🇸

2. This big change is expected to happen because of investment advisors, wealth, and private banking integrated products and easier access to ETFs in direct broker accounts. 🏦

What can be the share of the portfolio for crypto investments?

A 10% ETF share for Bitcoin (BTC) and Ether (ETH).

And a 5-6% share for crypto hedge funds.

It’s gonna be really fun when diversification would also mean investing in crypto.

Tho the SEC has delayed making a decision on all of the spot ETF applications until October. 🕰️

The crypto market is hopeful that the launch of these ETFs will open the floodgates to mainstream money. 💵

And the report also suggests a sharp rise by 2024, marking it as THE year for ETF approvals.

So, what does this mean for us?

One word → Money.

No not only money but a celebration of the potential growth and acceptance of crypto! 📅

Cuz the main thing is to enjoy the big steps the crypto space is taking.

And that’s why we have afterparties, right?

Well, we all know what they’re for but it’s okay. 🍺

Doodhwala’s Take:

Crypto’s evolution from a disruptor to a failure to a cottage industry is happening.

Is this what’ll move us from euphoria to sustenance?

🤣 Bitboy Gets Arrested

There's a feeling of relief that you get when you finally know that a scammer got arrested. 😌

Ben Armstrong just got arrested — And he did this in the good old fashioned “house raid” strategy. 💀

(we’ll use Ben Armstrong and BitBoy interchangeably for the sake of clarity)

Bitboy has been lying throughout his career, no doubt about that. He's now facing the consequences of what happens when you f*** around. 🤭

1️⃣ Ben Lied to the Police.

So this whole drama began when Ben decided to go ahead and do a livestream outside his ex-business partner’s (BP) house. 🎥

Why was he out there filming?

Well, he claims that Carlos, his ex-BP had “Stolen” his 🏎️ Lamborghini and hadn't returned it.

Seriously? Stolen? A Lambo?

If someone were to steal my Lambo (ehm…hypothetically), and I knew who it was and where they lived — I'm sending their ass to jail.💀

Why would you go and livestream outside the house and get yourself in trouble?

So there's only 2 conclusions—

• Bitboy is framing this whole “He stole my Lambo” story

• He's unfathomably stupid

Both conclusions sound fantastic to us. 🙃

2️⃣ Ben Lied to his Wife.

This thing is so damn spicy. 🤣

So Ben not only decided to lie about his “stolen” Lambo — But also decided to bring along the woman he was having an affair with. 💀💀💀

Cassie, the girl whom Ben had cheated on his wife with, was sitting in the back of his car the whole time. And this detail came out when he got arrested on his livestream. 😵

So what did he tell the police?

He said he had informed his wife that he was with Cassie. 🤣

Yeah sure, and she said okay to it. Right, Ben?🧐

3️⃣ Ben Lied to the people.

Okay, so this one's a bit out there.

So when scammer Bitboy started asking for donations last week — his whole premise was that he had now gone poor because of his branding change. 🫰

But there's apparently a deleted tweet from CZ that shows that Bitboy had more than $650k holding on Binance. 🤑

Now why would CZ reveal a customer’s balance to the public?

Different question. 💀

But if it is true (which we all kinda know is true), then this dude is just a publicity stunt machine. 🤷‍♂️

Doodhwala’s take:

Don’t trust crypto influencers.

For all you know, they might be scamming you and stealing a Lambo while having an affair and begging for donations. All while having $650k with the.

Oh well. 🫠 

📈 Cheese and Charts: We’ve Hit A New Low

You know the saying—

“Hell is a bad place because someone will find a way to make things worse”?

That’s the Bitcoin Spot Trading Volume rn. 📉

Volumes for the spot market for Bitcoin have gone all the way from—

• 🗓️ March 2023 – Over 600k transactions

• 🗓️ September 2023 – Less than 15k transactions

This pushed the volumes to a 5-year low. 🤡

Now we need to put the cringe aside and think—

Why is it SO BAD rn?

What’s triggering such low volumes on crypto exchanges? 🤔

Well, a few raw cowmilk-drinkin’ analysts have boiled it to 3 simple points👇

1. The US FED is killing macroeconomic culture

2. There is a constant Uncertainty of a Recession

3. It's becoming tough for long-term HODLers to sell at current prices

So, with Short-term HODLers leaving and long-term HODLers not selling—

Who do you think is going to win? 🏆

Hit reply and let us know what you think! 👇

🛠 Resourcewala: Wtf is Decentralized YouTube?

Who controls the internet? 🤔

We’ve been fed the narrative that it's a free space.

The reality? A handful of big players control its working. 💻

Especially YouTube, where what you watch is decided by mysterious algorithms. 🕵️

But hold on! 🤚

Odysee and LBRY are in the game, aiming to decentralize YouTube and hand the power back to the people! 🤟

Today’s resource is all about breaking those chains:

• How does a decentralized YouTube even work? 🤷‍♂️

• How Odysee and LBRY are rewriting the rules of video streaming! 🎥

• Will this give the power of content back to the creators? ✊

LFG 🔥🔥🔥

🍼 Doodhshots: The Cartel Is Coming For Crypto

• 👠 Runway Rave: Hoofster NFT-Backed Shoe makes a dazzling appearance at AVAVAV's Milan Fashion Week! Cool fashion meets cool tech.

• 👨🏻‍🦲 Binance’s Comeback: Three months after a regulatory halt, Binance is back in action in Belgium! A triumphant return or a last chance?

• 🥊 Layer 2 Showdown: Arbitrum DAO’s $42 Million boost is set to rev up the Layer-2 Blockchain ecosystem. Ecosystem expansion, here we come!

• 🔗 Cartel’s Crypto: U.S. Government sanctions an Ethereum wallet linked to the Sinaloa Cartel! A small crackdown or just the tip of the iceberg?

• 💔 HTX Heist: HTX faces a $7.9M scam thanks to a hacker. Now they're saying, "Can we have our money back, please?”. And no, they’re not related to FTX.

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

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That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.

Today’s edition was brought to you by Ritik Gupta and Sumanth

Edited by: Arvind Krishna and Aakash Athawasya