😐 Why Binance US Is Firing Everyone

Gm, this is doodhwala, the only crypto newsletter that’s like putting a cherry on a cake, some sprinkles on an ice cream, and some whipped cream on a brownie. 🍦

We always give you that extra something. 😉

Here’s what we got for you today:

• 😬 Trouble Again: Binance Is In Trouble Again

• ⚡ Coinbase + Lightning: Coinbase Integrates The Bitcoin L2

• 📈 Cheese and Charts: L2s To The Moon (But Not All Of Them)

• 🛠️ Resourcewala: The Greatest Crypto Heist Of All Time

• 🍼 Doodhshots: Mila Kunis’ NFT Gets SUED

😐 Binance in Trouble Again?

Oh, look who it is again. 😀

Our friendly neighborhood Spiderman → Binance is here on the milky words of the Doodhwala yet again.

What did they do this time?

Nothing much really - just some casual Tomfoolery. 😬

Tomfoolery that involves:

• YEETing out their US CEO

• Firing more than 100 employees

• Employees YEETing themselves out

What in the…? 🤣

Bro didn’t get featured in the Doodhwala for a while and decided to get into all sorts of trouble? 🤷‍♂️

SMH CZ. SMH. 😤

1️⃣ Binance US CEO YEETS out.

Say hello to Brian Shroder!

Part-time CEO of Binance — Full-time “I will steal your left kidney” lookgiver. 👇

So Brian just said “Aight imma head out” to the Binance US entity, and resigned from his post as CEO.

Why?

Well, we’re not sure. But it has to be one or more of these 3 reasons—

👉 Too much backlash against crypto in the US.

👉 Binance being chased by the SEC, and as CEO - he’ll be the next target.

👉 He likes drinking fresh cow milk, but they only serve oat milk at their office. (Legit 100%)

2️⃣ Employees = GTFO.

Not only has the CEO YEETed out, but so have about 1/3rd of the company’s workforce. 🥴

Some of them YEETed themselves out, others were asked to YEET.

For now, a total of about 100 people have been cut from the workforce. 😔

But wait, who are those self-YEETers then?

• Mayur Kamat - Global Head of Product, earlier this month

• Patrick Hillmann - Chief Strategy Officer, back in July

…and now Brian himself. 🤯

It’s almost like nobody wants to be there anymore! 🤷‍♂️

3️⃣ Binance says they have 7 years of runway.

The funniest part? 🤣

Binance says that this move of firing 100 employees gave them enough money to run for 7 years.

Like bro? 💀

Do you think you’ll even be around for 7 months, let alone 7 years?

The big question tho – How much were these employees getting paid? Especially if firing them meant 7 YEARS of runway?

And they acted all salty after firing them too. Coming out with statements like—

“The actions of the SEC are ruining American jobs and having real life impact” 🫡

Hey CZ, here's some professional advice coming from people with the most secure job (selling milk):

• Don't blame the SEC if your own employees are leaving. That just means that they don't trust you.

• Maybe know why your folks in leadership positions are YEETing. THEN act salty.

• If you drink milk in the morning, make sure its boiled and then cooled down to room temperature. 🥛

✊ Crypto Is Not Dead! We’ll Show You

Is crypto dead? 😭

Uhhh despite what your uncle tells you on WhatsApp, it isn’t. It’s very much alive.

Don’t believe us? 🤔

Head on over to – Unfold 2023 by CoinDCX – to find out more.

Unfold 2023 is India’s biggest crypto event. But it’s not like every other networking (read:boring) event.

It has:

🔥 A hackathon with $100K+ in bounty rewards

🔥 A fire speaker panel of top Web3 founders

🔥 The one…the…only…the doodhwala

Register now using the link below and stand a chance to win some very cool prizes (not just doodh lol 🥛).

Hurry now, rewards end in 48 hours, takes 4 seconds to register.

Here are the details:

🗓️ October 19 to 20

📍 KTPO, Whitefield, Bangalore

⏱️ Takes < 5 seconds to register

⚡️Coinbase Becomes Lightning

Yesterday was HUGE! 🔥

Bitcoin hit a new high? Nope.

Elon tweeted bout Doge again? Nah.

Aliens said they love doodh? Not yet.🥛

Then what? → Coinbase X Lightning 🚀

Wtf is Lightning really?

• It's a Layer-2 protocol, built on top of Bitcoin.

• Designed for quick microtransactions without the need to broadcast everything on the main L1 chain - Bitcoin network.

• The idea is to open a payment channel, do your transactions, and then close the channel. All without making every transaction public.

Now, here's the full story: 📖

A while back, big exchanges, like Coinbase and Binance, didn't want to use Lightning. 🚫

They thought it wouldn't help them earn more money.

But things changed! 🔄

Brian Armstrong, CEO of Coinbase, said they're going to use Lightning to make Bitcoin better.

Why?

Big names, like Michael Saylor and Jack Dorsey, were poking Armstrong with a stick, asking, “Why do you ignore Bitcoin?”👇

The Bitcoin maxis are really happy about this!

This is the 3rd time when they’re so happy.

First was when they got to know about Bitcoin. 🟠

Second was when they got to know about Doodhwala.🥛

And third is now.

What about Binance tho? 🤔

Binance started using Lightning a bit earlier, on July 17, 2023.

Some other exchanges using Lightning: 🌍

• Bitstamp - 2019.

• Bitfinex - 2020.

• OKEx and OKcoin - 2021.

• Kraken - 2022.

Doodhwala’s Take:

The Lightning Network is becoming popular, and it's happening right now.

Thanks to companies like Coinbase and people like Brian Armstrong, Bitcoin is going to be faster and cheaper for everyone.

Who doesn't love faster and cheaper? 😉

Unless it’s an expensive 911 GT3. IYKYK. 🏎️

📈 Cheese and Charts: L2s To The Moon

Layer-2s.

They’ve played a damn good role in scaling Web3 adoption.

Just like doodh has played, in scaling my strength.🥛

How? By boosting transaction speeds and reducing costs on L1 chain.

Like Polygon (L2) is to Ethereum (L1).

And Doodh is to Me.🥛

The L2 active users have also grown by 2x.

• 🗓 March 2023 → 5 million users

• 🗓 September 2023 → 10 million users

And the month's not even over!

Who's leading? 👇

1. Polygon

2. Arbitrum

3. Starknet

4. Optimism

5. Base

6. Doodh (its league is different tho)🥛

These numbers are just the tip of the iceberg.

With more new stuff coming out, even more people might start using L2s. 🚀

What do you think about the future of L2s?

(REPLY and let us know👇)

🛠 Resourcewala: The Most Jaw-Dropping Crypto Heist

You've seen bank heists in movies.

You've heard of diamond thefts.

But when cryptos go missing, there ain't no calling Sherlock! 🤯

Bet your last Bitcoin you didn’t see this one coming.

Introducing: The Greatest Crypto Heist You Never Heard of!

It’ll cover:

• What went down during the heist? 🕵️‍♀️

• Who were the genius (or mad?) minds behind it? 🎩

• How did the digital realm react? 💻

Plus: Why the hell haven't you heard of it till now? 🤫

LFG! 🔥🔥🔥

🍼 Doodhshots: Mila Kunis’ NFT gets SUED

• 🗨️ Telegram Token: Telegram integrates TON as its official Web 3 infrastructure provider, thereby sending the token surging. That’s a TON of endorsement.

• 👋 Rebranding Huobi: Huobi renamed its exchange to HTX following their 10-year anniversary this month. HTX is the new FTX?

• 💼 Celebrity Lawsuit: Mila Kunis and her NFT project Stoner Cats just got sued by the SEC for $1 million USD. Friends with Benefits 2 gonna have NFTs in it.

• 👮 Jail Time: Karl Greenwood, co-founder of OneCoin has been sentenced to 20 years in prison for his pyramid scheme. Build pyramids in prison now.

• 🥷 Another Hack: The North Korean Lazarus group has been identified as the entity behind the $55 million hack of CoinEx. North Korea making some serious gains nowadays NGL.

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram.

That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.

Today’s edition was brought to you by Ritik Gupta and Sumanth

Edited by: Arvind Krishna and Aakash Athawasya