🤯 Another Exit For Binance

Gm, this is the doodhwala, the crypto newsletter that tells you when there’s a BIG airdrop about to happen. 👀

Here’s what we got for you today—

• 🫂 Binance Exits: Binance Exits Russia Through A Sale

• 👀 New Airdrop: This Blockchain Is Having An Airdrop Soon

• 📈 Cheese and Charts: Rollups Roll On Profits

• 💰 ALPHAwala: The FriendTech Thesis

• 🍼 Doodhshots: Gary Gets Grilled By Congress

  

🫂 Binance Says ‘Blyat’ to Russia

Another day, another Binance story.

It’s like the doodhwala has now become a Rom-Com with Binance as its lead actor.🥴

We won’t let them go, and they always keep doing hella sus stuff.

And this time, they’re packing their bags and heading outta Russia.🇷🇺

Not just that—

They’re losing out on global market share like a doodhwala spilling out old milk.🥛

Once again, it is time for us to investigate what the hell is going at Binance with Russia. 🧐

1️⃣ Why Leave Russia?

Russia.🇷🇺

Land of the czar. The water of the lord. And crypto from illegal sources.

Russia is everything that crypto wants as well as everything that it doesn’t. 💀

And that’s primarily one of the reasons why Binance is exiting Russia.

Let’s take a few “well-calculated” reasons as to wtf is wrong there for Binance—

• Shady Crypto Regulations

• Incompatible Compliance Strategy

• And the most important…The SEC is behind their ass.

And that’s the reason why Binance is saying ‘Blyat, screw this’ to Russia and heading out. 😤

This comes after a bunch of ties that Binance cut off with Russian Banks.

CZ ain’t taking any risk with them Russian Banks. 💀

He prolly got some mafia out there to get him.

2️⃣ Is this part of their exit strategy?

So we need to understand just HOW Binance chose to exit Russia, a huge market for their trade volumes.

Let's not forget. Russia currently has—

• Around 17.3 million Crypto users

• Hold over 12% of Global crypto

• Have over $200 Billion worth of crypto

Why exit such a good market? 🤔

So, they’ve decided to pass the flag to another company called “CommEX”

What is this CommEX?

Well, they just officially launched 2 days ago, and are now the sole owners of everything in Binance Russia. 💀💀💀

Bear in mind, that Binance has already said Sayonara to a bunch of countries—

• Netherlands

• UK

• Cyprus

And so many more!

They’re exiting old countries to enter new ones. We wrote about their exit strategy a while back here.

So shady man!

Why sell to a random new exchange?

Is there a bigger story to selling to CommEX?

So many questions, such few answers! 🤷‍♂️

3️⃣ Binance Market Share is getting REKT.

I think it's about time we tell this—

Hey Binance, your exit strategy isn't working. 🤭

And there's now data to back it up. 📊

Binance is losing out a lot on USD volume, one of their biggest pools.

Since November of last year, the exchange volume has slipped to below 50%. 📉

And this volume is being picked up by other CEXs like—

• Upbit

• Huobi (now HTX)

• ByBit

So,

Losing market volume. ✅

Exiting countries. ✅

Not drinking enough cow milk. ✅

Binance, this is a straight-up formula for failure. Let's amend this step by step.

Begin with the milk.🥛

👀 This Blockchain Is Having An AIRDROP!

Quick!

Go to your balconies, your backyards, your mom’s basement’s 2x2 window….wherever! 👀

And smell that!

Do you smell it? Do you FEEL it? 🤔

IT’S AIRDROP SZN BABY! 😎

This time it’s from a project you have always pretended to understand but never actually did. (just like us 🤷‍♂️)

C-E-L-E-S-T-I-A 💫

Aight…let’s bang this out the doodhwala style:

1️⃣ WHAT

Celestia is a clever type of blockchain (or as we in the industry like to call it “Modular Blockchain” 😎) that helps handle lots of data.

It does this by splitting up different jobs in the blockchain like:

• Execution

• Settlement

It basically makes things more organized. (Kinda like what HRs used to do 🤷‍♂️)

A lot of smart people have been building it and talking about it for a few years now (so if you haven’t heard about it then…)

And this week they finally announced the launch of → Genesis Drop 💧

It is the start of the Celestia network and allows:

• 7,579 developers 👨‍💻

• 576,653 chain addresses ⛓️

…to join the Celestia network from the very first block on October 17th. 💪

All the eligible participants can claim up to 60 million TIA

2️⃣ WTF is TIA

No, TIA is not a new mid-range hatchback from Toyota. ⛔️

TIA is Celestia's native token, and they're sharing the love by allocating 6% of it in this airdrop. 💰

Here’s some quick stats:

💰 Genesis Supply: 1 Billion

👀 Allocations:

• Investor: 35.6%

• Foundation: 26.8%

• Community: 20%

• Team: 17.6%

The Team and Investors will start unlocking 33% of their shares after the first year.

The rest will be unlocked over 3 years, while Investors will receive theirs over 2 years. (So NO quick dumping on the market 😅)

3️⃣ HOW

Now to the part you have all been waiting for…HOW do I become eligible for this airdrop? 🤔

We have good news and bad news. 😬

👍 Good news: If you have been a true degen in the past year then you’re good

👎 Bad news: It might be a little too late to make yourself eligible, if you are not already

Here are the 3 main criteria to be eligible for this airdrop:

• For the devs → Need to be public Github contributors in the modular ecosystem 👨‍💻

• For the degens → Need to be among the top 50% active users of Top 10 rollups like Arbitrum, Optimism, etc, by TVL ⛓️

• Blockchain nerds → Need to be stakers and IBC relayers of Cosmos Hub and Osmosis 💧

You can check your eligibility here.

So when it comes to crypto, it is always good to explore any new ecosystems, or trends early on.

You don’t have to spend a lot of money on it but enough so that you can identify yourself as a “Passive Airdrop Farmer” on X. 👨‍🌾

And how do you find these new ecosystems and trends → READ the frickin’ doodhwala! 🤷‍♂️

📈 Cheese and Charts: Rollups Roll On Profits

“There's more layers to this!” - Someone having fresh cow milk for the first time. 🐄🥛

The crypto Roll-up economy is making Lambo money rn! 🤑

What's the Roll-up economy?

In crypto, we have 2 types of them—

• ZK Rollups ( ZK=Zero knowledge )

• Optimistic Rollups

And these Rollups? 🗞️

Over the past year, have recorded over $36 million in profits. 💰

That too, in a frikkin Bear Market! 🐻

Who are some noticeable winners here?

• zkSync has been contributing to over 60% of profits this year 💪

• op Mainnet kinda lookin sad, contributing the lowest. ☹️

• BASE ft. Bald Boi Brian picking up a huge pace since launch, recording over $2 million in profits in August. 💸

Fantastic ideas and products. Resilient in tough times.

Doodhwala's Rating: Absolute Banger. 💪

What do you think? Will the zkSync era continue? Or will BASE take over?

Hit reply and let us know what you think! 👇

💰 ALPHAwala: The Friend Tech Thesis

Welcome to Alphawala, a section where we bring you one top alpha straight from the depths of the Crypto Gulag aka Crypto Twitter 🔥

Friend Tech.

It’s the crypto social app that we all thought was just another failed web3 project. 🤷‍♂️

Sure, it started off with crazy activity but it only lasted for…about a week. 😅

But just when we thought it was dead, it rose back from the dead like the great Undertaker himself. ⚰️

This time, the activity was sustained and it still continues to do so. 📈

So what really changed? 🤔

How can you use this alpha for your own investment thesis?

And…what’s all this talk about an AIRDROP? 👀

👇

🍼 Doodhshots: Gary Grilled By Congress

• 👔 Suited Up: Lawyers will allow Sam Bankman Fried to appear in a suit to his trials, as well as other perks. Commit fraud and have drip? Wth?

• 🔥 Gary Grilled: Gary Gensler, head of the SEC gets grilled for his stances on crypto and loyalty to the big banks. I love hypocrites getting what they deserve.

• 📊 Fake Data: A crypto exchange called Bitspay, which used to report about $1.4 billion in volume, had a fake license. We’ve all had illegal licenses, right?… Right?

• 👮 Jail Where?: Do Kwon’s lawyers have asked to withdraw the deposition of him to the US, as he is in Montenegro custody currently. Bro’s switching Jails now?

• 🪙 New Ordinals?: Bitcoin Ordinals Casey Rodarmor has a new pitch for a junk-free ordinals project on Bitcoin. Yeah, well, let’s try and make ordinals work first.

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram.

That’s all for today folks! See ya tomorrow!

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer. None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.

Today’s edition was brought to you by Ritik Gupta and Sumanth

Edited by: Arvind Krishna and Aakash Athawasya