In Deep 💩: Binance vs The CFTC

Gm, this is the doodhwala, the Domino’s Pizza of newsletters, we come to you hot and fresh every day. 🍕

Here’s the scoop for today:

• In Deep 💩: Binance vs The CFTC

• 💜 From Polygon, With zkLove

• 📈 Winner of the $200B/day market

• 🛠 Can you even tokenomics bruh?

• 🍼 Gucci in the House

Do you want a PIZZA this?

In Deep 💩: Binance vs The CFTC

Binance, the crypto exchange which loves the song “Black and Yellow” is in deep 💩.

What’s happening this time? 🙈

The CFTC (Commodity Futures Trading Commission) just slapped Binance with a “civil enforcement action.”

Idk what that means but it doesn’t sound like a love letter from the CFTC to Binance.

The charges were placed on 3 people:

• Binance [3 separate companies]

• Changpeng Zhao or CZ, the CEO of Binance

• Samuel Lim, the former COO of Binance between 2019-2022

This is not a mild letter by the CFTC → Binance, they are hella pissed. 🤬

How do we know this?

We read their 1000-word love letter civil enforcement action against Binance and it didn’t have words like – “sweetie”, “love”, or “date night.” 😭

Instead, it used words/phrases like:

• “For years Binance knew they were violating CFTC rules”

• “Binance’s compliance efforts have been a sham”

• “CZ’s long running failure to act in good faith.”

• ‘Everyone should sub to the doodhwala’

But seriously – why is the CFTC going after Binance?

Well for one, it’s going after Binance’s cryptocurrency derivatives. Not spot.

And it’s going after Binance for 5️⃣ reasons.

Some of these reasons are hella spicy, so the doodhwala is gonna give a 🌶️ rating for each reason.

1️⃣ REGISTRATION PROBLEMS

Binance is not registered in the US.

Binance[dot]US is registered in the US.

That’s why they have “US” in the name duh!!

But Binance offered derivatives services to people in the US from 2019 – 2022.

🌶️ 🌶️ : Meh, we’ve heard this before!

2️⃣ NO CUSTOMER KYC

Binance didn’t verify the identity of the people using its platform.

They didn’t follow – KYC, terrorist financing, or money laundering guidelines.

IDK about you, but if I’m accused of terrorist financing and money laundering I’d think it’s a big deal. 😭

🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️: Woah, things are getting interesting!

Alright, this is where things get hella sus. I mean I know they’re sus already because we talkin about Binance.

But this 💩 is downright alarming.

3️⃣ TRADES AGAINST CUSTOMERS

Binance has in-house 2 trading companies:

• Merit Peak

• Sigma Chain

These ☝️ traded on Binance using 300 in-house accounts.

And they traded against Binance’s own users in the over-the-counter (OTC) markets.

🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️: This is giving us MAD SBF + FTX + ALAMEDA vibes. 😭

4️⃣ ONLY FOR THE RICH

When regulators told Binance to restrict US customers, what did Binance do?

They restricted normie US customers. ✅They allowed wealthy US customers. ✅

🤣

Yes, these people:

• VIP customers

• High-net-worth individuals

• Straight raw milk drinkers

They were still allowed to use Binance.

Not only that, they even told these customers the “best methods for evading Binance’s compliance controls.”

🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️: Alright, we’re entering the RED ZONE!

5️⃣ DELETED MESSAGES

When dealing with hella sus customers, Binance’s employees used a messaging application that automatically deleted messages.

W H U T 🤣

This was done because Binance wanted to avoid “leaving any evidence” that they were working with customers from the US.

I gotta get my hands on this application to bitch about my boss on my work laptop. 🤫

🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️: RED ALERT! I repeat RED ALERT!

So, what did CZ have to say about all ☝️ of this?

Initially, he just had one word. Or one number rather.

But later, he replied with a blog saying:

• Binance doesn’t trade against customers

• Binance has a huge compliance team

• Binance blocks users by nationality

• Binance holds a ton of licenses

Doodhwala’s take:

The doodhwala knows 0️⃣ about legal stuff (that makes our 🧠 hurt). But these seem like serious allegations against Binance and CZ.

And since CZ is all about that “4” train, we think he can say sowiee to the CFTC like this 👇

🔥Together with Web3 Init: What comes first in Web3?

Security is a pretty PRETTAAAY big deal in web3.

I mean, you don’t wanna your private keys to be exposed…or worse your browser history. 😆

• “how to make milk from oats”

• “why don’t vegans drink milk”

• “best date cafes for doodh lovers.”

Wait how did my browser history ☝️ get out? 😭

That’s why we need Web3 projects that focus on security. And we know just where to look for these kinda apps.

At the Web3 Init Hackathon.

After all, this hackathon is organised by UNSNARL + ClueLess!

🛠️ UNSNARL → A web3 security startup backed by Polygon and ETH India.

👥 ClueLess → A student-driven dev community focusing on open-source tech.

💰 Prize pool: $6000+

🤝 Mentorship from experts

🗓️ Registration closes March 25

💜 From Polygon, With zkLove

🎵 Just wakin’ up in the morning, gotta thank God…

I don’t know but today seems kinda odd

Another day, another launch…from Polygon 🎵

Every time I listen to this Ice Cube track, it always hits the right spot! 🔥

But today, its hitting extra hard cuz Polygon dropped its much-anticipated—

h̶o̶o̶d̶i̶e̶ c̶o̶l̶l̶e̶c̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ zkEVM! 🟣

Before you pretend to be excited, let’s look at what it ACTUALLY is.

Cuz’ everyone is dropping a zk something these days:

🗓 March 24th → zkSync launch by Matter Labs

🗓 March 27th → zkEVM launch by Polygon

🗓 April 1st → zkDoodh launch by doodhwala 🔥

So wtf is a zkEVM? 🧐

Okay, explain it like I’m FIVE 😅

Basically, it is a way to reduce on-chain transactions into tinier bits of data, so that they can be processed easily and without any network janjhat (or chaos) on Ethereum.

With this, Ethereum’s scalability goes to the 🚀.

👉 Wait…I thought Polygon, being an Ethereum L2, was already a solution to scale Ethereum. 🤨

Yup, you’re right.

👉 And what about Ethereum moving to the Proof of Stake mechanism…

…wasn’t that move, among many other things, also to increase Ethereum’s scalability?

Yup, you’re right. AGAIN! 🥲

So did we even need this zk thingy?

Sandeep and Vitalik Bhai certainly seem pretty happy about the whole thing tho.

And Not just that…did we need THREE different projects competing for it:

• StarkNet

• Polygon’s zkEVM

• Matter Labs’ zkSync

Here’s the difference between these projects 👇

🟣 zkEVM

ZK EVM is like a magic trick. 🎩

It uses zero-knowledge proofs to make your transactions disappear from the Ethereum mainnet.

But it still maintains the security and decentralization of the blockchain.

It's like pulling a dove out of a hat, except instead of a dove (which might even be dead), it's your transaction, and instead of a hat, it's a Layer 2 network.

🔴 zkSync

zkSync era is like a high-speed train. 🚅

It uses rollups to bundle multiple transactions together and move them quickly through the Ethereum network.

It's like the recently launched Whitefield Metro in Bangalore, except instead of the I.T. passengers, it's transactions, and instead of speed, it's low fees.

⭐️ StarkNet

StarkNet is a little different, much like Tony Stark among the Avengers. (dude’s superpower is money 🥲)

It uses zk-STARKs to enable complex computations and smart contracts on a separate virtual machine, while still being connected to the Ethereum mainnet.

It's like the Matrix, except instead of a dystopian future, it's a decentralized network of smart contracts.

Doodhwala’s Take:

All of these projects want to make Ethereum:

• Faster

• Cheaper

• More scalable

But here's the thing —

Ethereum is already becoming all of these on its own and by other L2s like Arbitrum, Optimism, etc. 😅

Sure, it will make the transactions a little bit cheaper from $0.02 → $0.002. 🤦‍♂️

But as long as it’s under $1, it’s all the same for us, hombre.

Or maybe we are just not understanding this zk thing properly. 🤷‍♂️

(REPLY and let us know if that’s the case)

📈 Chaach and Charts: Winner of the $200B/day market

One of the biggest financial markets in the world is – Derivatives.

They’re pieces of paper that track the price of an asset like:

• Stocks

• Cryptocurrencies

• Unused doodh bottles

Yeah, doodh derivatives are called – doodhervatives. 📈

But derivatives are hella useful to – hedge risk + trade with leverage.

And derivatives are becoming hella popular as a decentralized finance (DeFi) apps.

The top dog in the space? dYdX ofc. 👑

But the up-and-coming dog in the space? GMX. 😲

Check out the top derivatives DeFi apps based on fees over the last 6 months:

🥇 GMS → $81 million🥈 dYdX → $41 million🥉 Lyra → $19 million

Chegg it 👇

🛠 Resourcewala: Can you even tokenomics bruh?

Crypto peeps, LISTEN UP! 📣

We've found the HOLY GRAIL of tokenomics. 🏆

For everyone looking to get their hands dirty in the crypto space, understanding tokenomics is CRUCIAL. 🧠

We've got the PERFECT thread for you! 🎯

It’s covers:

• What is Tokenomics?

• Supply, Demand, and Incentives

• Tokenomics Examples

• Distribution, Utility, and Value Creation 💸

• 🆓 Tokenomics Checklist

Let's get tuned into tokenomics! 🔥

🍼 Doodhshots: Gucci in the House

• 🍔 Crypto Charged BK: Burger King teams up with Instpower to enable crypto payments for power bank devices at 14,000+ locations worldwide, including Paris restaurants, powered by Alchemy Pay and Binance Pay.

• 💰 Buying the Dip: MicroStrategy purchases 6,455 bitcoins, worth approximately $150 million, over the last five weeks at an average cost of $23,238 per coin.

• 🚀 Euro BOOMIN’: European DeFi startups witness a 120% increase in VC investment in 2022, according to data. More cash, more growth!

• 👜 Gucci X NFTs: Fashion powerhouse Gucci partners with NFT giant Yuga Labs to bring luxury digital fashion into the metaverse.

• 🐂 Bull Bitcoin: Bitcoin is just one week away from confirming a new bull market, says the analyst. Exciting enough?

🤣 Milky Meme Of The Day

If you want more doodh then, be sure to follow our Twitter, our LinkedIn, and our Instagram.

That’s all for today bhaiyo aur bheno! Naale Sigona! Aakash "Dahi Cheeni" Athawasya & Arvind "Doodh Peda" Krishna

Yo! Our legal and financial advisors (aka our good ol’ conscience) have asked us to add this boring disclaimer.None of what you read here is financial advice. We aren’t here to get you to buy or sell a crypto. We’re only here to tell you what’s up in crypto today and make you laugh. So, if you screwed up on a trade, that’s on you G. Stay safe in the markets.